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Novacaine's ezBlog



Jul 03, '08



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Water water everywhere, nor any drop to drink! Sums up Bombay I guess. The city will be flooded because of bad infrastructure more than heavy rains, but drinking water? Where is that?

And looks like the corporators have more pressing issues to raise than tackle the water problem. And that is the ever important Marathi language!

Anyway things move at a snail's pace in the BMC. The special standing committee meeting was disrupted just because the presentation was in English and not in Marathi. Now the presentation will be made in Marathi, it will be discussed and then things will hopefully move. Though what's the guarantee for that? Your guess as good as mine.

What shocked me more was Congress and NCP were first to object to the use of English. So much for being secular parties!








Jun 27, '08



Aye, you guys... I'm not talking about Ness Wadia. But you have to listen to this. In Deepa Mehta's next movie 'Heaven on Earth', Preity Zinta plays a Punjabi housewife in an abusive marriage with an Indo-Canadian man. Sounds like 'Provoked'. But, here is the difference. Unlike Ash in Provoked who saves herself by killing her husband, guess who is the damsel in distress' sahara! A SNAKE!!

Click idhar to read the story.

Check out the photo first of all. ROFL. Of course, the tabloid has morphed it. But after this movie, I think Preity would be ready to play Shiv ji in a film.

Even funnier is the script climax! You gotta read it!

"Except for these two, I have not touched any adult of the male sex." LOL. ROFL. LMAO. I'd like to see the part where she checks the gender of the snake. Would be interesting.

"If I am lying, let the cobra bite me." Move over, lie detector here comes a new device - King Cobra! In courtroom dramas also the Bhagwad Gita can be replaced by the snake! 'Main is saanp pe haath rakh ke kasam khaata hoon...' Trust me that would work. No one will dare to lie!

Sounds like an 80's formula film. What's with the snake crawling up and spreading its hood over Preity's head and there being a glow around them? And Preity was excited to play this role?

"The shooting of the climax sequence was an ordeal for the cast as well as the crew. Anyone doing such a demanding role would have lost the common sense of things but Preity kept her cool and behaved like a professional."

I think the snake had a more demanding role than Preity!

This is a Deepa Mehta film?? The same lady who directed 'Fire', 'Water' and 'Earth'? C'mon, man!








Jun 27, '08



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Padma Vibhushan and Military Cross awardee former Army Chief Field Marshal Sam Manekshaw succumbed to lung illness and passed away last night. FM Manekshaw had developed "acute broncho pneumonia" with associated complications and his condition had been serious for the past four days and he slipped into coma.

May his soul rest in peace.

Now I'm copy pasting...

Manekshaw had led India to victory in the 1971 Indo-Pak war.

He assumed charge of the Indian Army, as the 8th Chief of Army Staff, on June 07, 1969. Born in Amritsar, Punjab in April 1914, he completed his schooling in Amritsar and Sherwood College, Nainital. He then joined the first batch of 40 cadets at Indian Military Academy (IMA), Dehra Dun on 01 October 1932.

He passed out of the IMA in December 1934 and was commissioned as a Second Lieutenant in the Indian Army. He held several regimental assignments and was first attached to the Royal Scouts and later to the 12 Frontier Force Rifles.

Manekshaw succeeded General Kumaramangalam as Chief of Army Staff (COAS) in June 1969.

For his selfless service to the nation, he was awarded the Padma Vibhushan in 1972 and was conferred with the honorary rank of Field Marshal in January 1973. He retired a fortnight later on 15 January 1973, after completing nearly four decades of military service.

There also was a controversy associated with his name, which was baseless actually.

Gohar Ayub Khan, son of former Pakistani President Ayub Khan, in an interview with Karan Thapar on CNN IBN on May 8, 2007, made allegations that a very high ranking general of the Indian Army had sold War Plans to Pakistan during the 1965 War. Refusing to name the person, Khan described him to Thapar in hints as a brigadier who was Director of Military Operations.

On being asked by Thapar whether he was talking about Manekshaw, Gohar Khan replied, "I can’t name him. I have given hints... you fit the cap". This news came one week after the release of Ayub's father's memoirs.

However, the allegations drew strong criticisms and skepticism from within the Indian Military establishment.

It has been pointed out that Indian Military doctrine underwent considerable change after the 1962 Sino-Indian War. Moreover, it was also pointed out that the Pakistani Military should have been in a better position to win the 1965 war if they were indeed in possession of the Indian Army's battle plans, as opposed to the war situation that forced Ayub Khan to sign the Tashkent Agreement. Defense Analysts have also noted that Gohar Ayub Khan has in the past been known to make statements without credibility.

It has also been suggested that he was eager to gain publicity for his forthcoming autobiography by making these claims. Other sources note that fake plans may have planted by Indian Intelligence Agencies, in order to fool the Pakistan Army.








Jun 27, '08



One way to feel un-sick is diverting one's mind. There is precious little one can do with lights off and a sister sharing the room. Basically, playing the violin is ruled out for that same reason. Sigh. So is reading because it needs for the lights to be on. So, here I am blogging instead because sleep eludes me. SIGH. Oh, in case you didn't realize, that was a bigger sigh.

So, I'm down with a nasty, nasty viral fever. And this time I have an ear infection too. While I'm quite adept at handling a running nose and watering eyes, I don't know how to deal with a leaking ear! Going deaf is the last thing I want to happen to me! How will I learn to play the violin or even listen to music? Yeah, I do tend to get dramatic when I'm unwell. I mean, come on, a little ear infection doesn't make one deaf... I hope.

So, now what new things do I tell you guys about? I have a friend who thinks I always have something interesting happening in my life to talk about. Then he admits that it's the dramatic way in which I narrate that makes it interesting. I don't know whether to take that as a compliment or what. Does he mean I have banal things happening in my life but I spice it up while narrating? Banal things in life is not good. My gift of gab, well, I think I could get smug about it. But I do agree that I have much talent at going on talking / writing about NOTHING. Like I am doing right now. And I notice you are still reading.

I was telling Gowri earlier about my being unwell and what my friends have been suggesting. One said he guzzles down 4 Patiala whisky pegs when he has a cold. Another friend offered rum because it's a warm drink. Then I met another friend who usually asks me to draw the thorn by a thorn and have chilled beer. Now I think he has finally started liking me and wants me to live, so he made me have brandy with hot water. I felt well enough to watch Roddick v/s Tipsarevic and Spain v/s Russia after that.

At home, I got a big time lecture from mom. Then she made me kaadha, though I told her I could make it on my own, but she thought it would be a lot easier if she made it herself rather than me yelling to ask how much clove and how much adrak and how much kaali mirch. I had that and felt a little better. Then I had a tablet to bring the fever down. It usually makes me very drowsy but my ear and back are hurting so much that I can't even sleep. And sitting is more comfortable than lying down. And I don't think I am feeling any better.

Okay, now my sister is super annoyed because my clacketing on the keyboard is disturbing her. Besides, I have spoken about NOTHING a bit too much. What? And you're still reading???



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Jun 26, '08



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India on 74 out of 180 in being most corrupt? And this year it has dropped down two notches from the last year. I'm surprised because on the contrary, I feel India is getting worse. Hmm... what are the chances that the international corruption index guys were bribed to bring India down? Khee khee khee. Sorry, being my usual nasty self.

Anyway, I don't think it was very nice and tactful to bring Pakistan's position in the shoulder line of the news item, when there are other countries ranking higher than India in terms of corruption.  Or they could have used the fact that India has dropped down two notches, which is any day more important to know (though I still have my doubts about it). Surely the newspaper is trying to please the majority "Indian" population by showing its so-called adversary in a poorer light compared to us. It really sucks.

And Russia in Asia? I thought it's Eurasia. As much Europe as Asia. There I go nitpicking again!

Anyway, I am quite curious how do they measure the corruption level or do the survey. And how creditable the agency really is.








Jun 26, '08



This is not just another 'Bambaiya tapori language made easy' blog post. Just want to give you a glimpse into the world I spent my formative years in. We spoke such weird language. This was in a publishing house, so don't expect anything decent out of there. Khee khee khee.

Anyway, we had certain terms that were used most often; they weren't abusive, really, but you might want to reconsider some of these words before they were spoken in a cultured and high-strung milieu.

Apologies for hurting the sentiments of Meghna Naidu and Rakhi Sawant fans.


Tartola from tart-land: (noun) Basically a tramp. Anyone dressed in a fashion that her arrival was accompanied by a 'cheap cheap' beep. For example, Meghna Naidu of Kaliyon ka chaman... and erm a movie called Hawas. This is our favourite term. We got to use this ample number of times given we covered entertainment and page 3 parties.
 

Sluttola from Slutland: (noun) Similar to her tartola counterpart, a loud and garish tramp dressed to evoke cheap thrills. The Rakhi Sawant kinds. She's a notch below tartola when it comes to decency. Can be seen on the arms of a new man every new time.

Sorry, boys, wanted to put 'better' pictures of both the good ladies but Fropper wouldn't let me. So, blame censors instead of censuring me.

Can't tell you with what great difficulty I found Rakhi's pic that would meet the terms and conditions here! Two pics got rejected. Khee khee khee.



Himbo: (n) Of course, we didn't invent the word. But we used it liberally for the male bimbos, the d-uh cutiepies, could be a muscleman but dumb nevertheless. Especially when they gave us boring, monosyllabic and diplomatic interviews. For whom everything was so goodie goodie.

I know a lot of himbos around on Fropper. But it's rude to call names. *Chuckles*

Hideous Hidimba: (n) Ok, she isn't anything like the tartola or sluttola. She is basically anyone with looks that could kill. Women who looked like they walked straight out of  the studio after auditioning for Bhooton ka Honeymoon. These days I think Amy Winehouse looks like it. Amy, baby, we still love you!

Apologies to Amy Winehouse (nice last name) fans.


Doodh pav - (Adj) A variant of plain vanilla or anything that wasn't spicy. Interviews were doodh pav. Looks and clothes for photo shoots were doodh pav. And we were always asked to spice it up. Sigh.

Chaalu chapati - (n) Anyone cunning or even a smart ass. This is my personal fav term. Heeee. "She's a chaalu chapati. Wait till his career is in dumps; she'll dump him for a bigger fish."

Humpty Dumpty - (n) Humped and dumped... f***ed and forgotten. I coined this phrase.  "Poor thing. He did a humpty dumpty on her."

Fultoo fataak - (Adj) Full on. 'Kya fultoo fataak lag rahi hai?' Also when we were ready to sign the pages off. The artists would ask, 'bhej doon kya?' And I'd say, 'Bilkul. Ekdum fultoo fataak hai.'

Paer rakha toh bhi chavanni pe: (v) To have poor choice or taste. Another fav or mine!

Q: If you were deserted on an island with only one man, who would it be?
A: Uday Chopra.
"Paer rakha toh bhi chavanni pe." Though I'm sure even his own girlfriend (or boyfriend) wouldn't want to be deserted on an island with him.








Jun 24, '08



I'm crazy like a fool (ching ching)
What about it Daggy cool
Daggy, Daggy cool. (Ching ching)
Daggy, Daggy cool

I'm in no mood for explaining the contest. Click here to read.

Anyway, CONTEST NO. 1

THE LOVERLY ESCAPADE
From Daggy's collection of photos, I'll go with this photo. It's exactly what I've always imagined my most ultimate love escapade would be. I prefer lakes and rivers to seas and beaches. And I'm still not telling you what I'd like to do here.




















This would be more like it actually. Love and its add on (read sex... or is it the other way round? Works for me in either case!), lots of greenery, serenity and mosquito repellent. Such pics bring tears to my eyes. The beauty is so overwhelming. I can go here whenever I want to, but I have no one to go with. *Wails*. If I ever get married, my wedding night has to be on a boathouse.

Tch. I can't believe I am revealing such intimate information about meself. And who do I have to thank? Daggy Cool, Dagger Tagger, Dagger Devi(l)!

CONTEST NO. 2 - STORY IN 6 WORDS

Tainted love. Coloured me bad - Novacaine








Jun 24, '08



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Wut, wut? An adult lonely man would opt for a robo-girl to kill loneliness? *Listens to 'Welcome to the Machine' in background for effect.* 

Wonder if anyone can find someone (or rather something) with a name like Eternal Maiden Actualisation, lovable and girlfriend-like. But the company has done something wise, very wise, to win the man-kind over and make the robo-chic a hit with them... and that is made it busty! So, a busty babe that would pucker up and shut up as and when men please. What more could a guy ask for? 

"Using her infrared sensors and battery power, the diminutive damsel named EMA puckers up for nearby human heads". Indiscriminately? So if there is some other man, she'd pucker up for him as well... and human heads would include women also... So, basically she's just a bisexual tart. Just reading between the lines. Khee khee khee. 

"She can act like a real girlfriend." Hmmm... what all would THAT include now? Come on, *clap clap*, tell me in comments now... What do you think that would include?








Jun 21, '08



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It really seems like certain sections of communities are competing in fanaticism and stupidity. The clergy think Ram Rahim, the Dera Sacha Sauda chief, is an upstart and that is their excuse to go around creating havoc. How can you do something as stupid as throwing stones in a public place? I mean, there are other people who have absolutely nothing to do with your protests who suffer.

There are so many religious fakes and upstarts. You can't violently protest against all of them. And why must only Ram Rahim Singh and his convoy booked? Who provoked? Of course, it cannot absolve Ram Rahim's bodyguard of opening fire, but the protesters are responsible too.

Those protestors have blocked railway. So many office goers and college students have had to suffer. Groups of Sikhs were seen walking the streets, brandishing swords. That must make such a lovely sight!

It doesn't create a good impression of the entire community.








Jun 20, '08



Something's wrong. And no, it cannot be the fever because it's finally gone, almost. I really do think I'm mellowing down. Because things that should anger me are only causing grief. Instead of all the @#$%&^ I've been only muttering a SIGH and shaking my head at things. Here are the reasons...


Can you believe this? One of my most favourite bands on pinky pop chiquita sandals! Anyway pink makes me want to go  colour blind. It breaks my heart to see that awesome Tallica logo and the ninja star on these. I can imagine a Paris Hilton like someone wearing this with a frilly pink number probably with hair clips or something. Eeeewwwww! AND THESE ARE  OFFICIALLY RELEASED! Whatever happened to the metchul image! It's the same as seeing those guys wearing Kurt Cobain and Megadeth t shirts
and dancing the garba dance!

I once saw this -->
 t shirt on a guy who definitely didn't know what he was wearing. I wanted to take it off his person but I feared getting nicked for sexual assault. Sigh.



What has she got that I haven't? The answer is JOHNNY DEPP. *Bawls*. S
he has Johnny Depp, she is attractive, famous, rich and they Live in Paris! I'm okay not having the last four things but gimme Johnny!!







This is what angered me actually! Firstly the right quote is, "There are things known and there are things unknown, and in between are The Doors." AND YOU DON'T USE A JIM MORRISON QUOTE FOR A STUPID PHOTO THAT MAKES IT SEEM LIKE PUNCHLINE OF A FURNITURE AD! How's the pic of a door relevant to this quote anyway? Just because it has 'the doors' in it, you don't put the pic of a door for godsake. It doesn't convey the message whatsoever! *&^%$@#
         












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