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Jan 05, '09



Decide
Hansa : Pra f ul "Decide" matlab ?
Praful : "Decide" Hansa ..... vo Casettee player mein hum casettee nahi dalte usme hota hai na ... "A side" -- "B side" ... toa "C-side" ... "D- side" ---> "Decide"

Mature
Hansa : Mature matlab ????
praful: jab apna mahesh...chori karte hue pakda gaya tha.. tab usne kya kaha tha ?????
hansa: usne kaha tha.. mujhe chodd do.. "MAIN CHOR NAHI HOON" main chor ...main chor....mature...acha acha....

Asset
Hansa : Prafulll "Asset" matlab ???
Praful : Asset Hansaaa ...... Jab hum gaadi mein jaate hai and jab gaadi signal par rukti hai .... taab vo bhikari log aa kar kya bolte hai ... "Aee Seth... thoda paisa do naa" ... "Eee Sethh ... " ... Asset ..

Depend
Hansa : Yeh Depend kya hota hai Prafful??
Prafful : Depend Hansa... wo Swimming Pool mein ek taraf to paani kam gehra hota hai, aur dusri side zyada gehra... Deep-End.. Depend

Tournament
HANSA: Ae he he praful, tournament matlab
PRAFUL: Tournament hansa!!! Ye jo tumne jhumke pehne hain, gehne pehne hain inko english me kya kehte hain, bolo bolo!!
Hansa: Aaa han han tournament, (hansa khush)
Melisa: Chidh kar,,, are use tournament nahi ornament kehte hain
Hansa: Are kuchh bhi mat bolll
Ek jhhumka -- Ornament
Do jhhumke -- Two ornament# #tournament

Elastic
Hansa: Praful elastic matlab??
Praful: Elastic Hansa.. apni voh radha ben unki beti ila ... usko jab fracture hua tha to voh kya leke chalti thi??
Hansa : Ila to...Ila-stick leke ... Ila-stick !! Ila-stick!!! 

BALANCE SHEET OF LIFE

Our Birth is our Opening Balance!.
Our Death is our Closing Balance!.
Our Prejudiced Views are our Liabilities.
Our Creative Ideas are our Assets.
Heart is our Current Asset.
Soul is our Fixed Asset.
Brain is our Fixed Deposit.
Thinking is our Current Account.
Achievements are our Capital.
Character & Morals, our Stock-in-Trade.
Friends are our General Reserves.
Values & Behaviour are our Goodwill.
Patience is our Interest Earned.
Love is our Dividend.
Children are our Bonus Issues.
Education is Brands / Patents.
Knowledge is our Investment.
Experience is our Premium Account.
The Aim is to Tally the Balance Sheet Accurately.
The Goal is to get the Best Presented Accounts Award.

SOME VERY GOOD AND VERY BAD THINGS

The most destructive habit.......................Worry.
The greatest Joy...............................Giving.
The greatest loss................Loss of self-respect.
The most satisfying work...............Helping others.
The ugliest personality trait.............Selfishness.
The most endangered species..........Dedicated leaders.
Our greatest natural resource................Our youth.
The greatest "shot in the arm"..........Encouragement.
The greatest problem to overcome.................Fear.
The most effective sleeping pill........Peace of mind.
The most crippling failure disease............Excuses.
The most powerful force in life..................Love.
The most dangerous pariah..................A gossiper.
The world's most incredible computer........The brain.
The worst thing to be without.................... Hope.
The deadliest weapon.......................The tongue.
The two most power-filled words..............."I Can".
The greatest asset..............................Faith.
The most worthless emotion..................Self-pity.
The most beautiful attire.......................SMILE!.
The most prized possession................Integrity.
The most powerful channel of communication.....Prayer.
The most contagious spirit.................Enthusiasm.
The most important thing in life..................GOD.

"When someone shares something of value with you and you benefit from it, you have a moral obligation to share it with others”










Dec 31, '08



I am Soooo,,,, Sorry Frndzz,,,


‘ 
,
Ek Buri Khabar Hai,, Aap Sub Mujhy Bhool Jana PLz... Main Kuch Gantoon K Baad,, Aaap Sabhi Kooo Hamesha K Liye Chor Kr Chala Jaonga,, Aaap sabhi Kaa Apna,,,,
Year 2008,,,, 


Purr,,,,,
Aaap subhi key Liye Ek Naya DOST Le Karr,,, Aya Hoon,,,,,, 

Year 2009,,, 

I look to the new year and my wish for you; 

Peace within your heart
Love from family and friends
Faith to guide your way
Hope to make it through each day
Sunshine to light the day
Heavenly Stars to wish upon
Rainbows to to let you know there is a tomorrow
A tear to show compassion
A heart to hold the love
But most of all I wish for you
to feel my hand in yours,
To know I am here if you stumble or fall.
To bring you cheer, to bring you love,
to return the love you always share with us.

And A bright today with much to be thankful for.
A path that leads to beautiful tomorrows 

HAPPY NEW YEAR MY FRIENDs
From My Heart To Your Hearts 





So Njoy With It !




Tags: wish, new year





Dec 29, '08



Friends, may you find it funny and think to fire on me,,, but some Astrologer has suggested to check down the food list for better health and don’t forget 2 forward this to MANY. 

If the “astrological food” suits U, pls return Gud Wishes to me, otherwise I’m at least xpecting your precious comments.

Aries
You are wild by night and active by day. You need wholegrain foods to keep your body full of vitality. When Aries, which has rule over the head, is on the Ascendant, we have a person whose actions are impulsive and aggressive. He acts and speaks quickly. An excess of life force is generated by these people. This is intensified when the dynamic Mars, which is the ruler of Aries, is also in Aries on the Ascendant, or when the life-giving sun is there. When these planets add their vital energies to the Ascendant, we have a person who is very apt to dissipate his forces. People who express Aries very strongly are apt to be quick of temper of an explosive kind, but will not hold spite. Those with Aries on the Ascendant, or with the sun or Mars there are quick to anger but also ready to forgive. Aries rules the head, the cerebral hemispheres of the brain, the upper jaw, the eyes, and the face. The nose, however, is ruled by the martial sign of Scorpio. Aries is hot, dry, and inflammatory. Aries people with a slight cold or disturbance of health may have a very high temperature. In illness their fever will often be from three to four degrees higher than that of the persons born under the watery of airy signs. Under planetary afflictions these people are subject to brain fever, dizziness, nosebleed, neuralgia, inflammation of the cerebral hemispheres, and diseases of the brain and face. They frequently suffer from a rush of blood to the head. The will of the patient plays a great part in the success of healing. People under positive signs are most likely to respond, for they make personal effort to help the healer, while negative-sign people are prone to follow the line of least resistance and to be neglectful in following the instructions of the healer.

Taurus
You love being touched, so stock up with natural yoghurts and fruits which will keep your skin radiant. Taurus has rule over the region of the neck, the ears, palate, larynx, tonsils, thyroid gland, lower jaw, occipital region, cerebellum, atlas, and cervical vertebrae, vocal chords, carotid arteries, jugular vein, and the pharynx. The Taurean is very stubborn and tenacious. Taurus being a negative sign, when a Taurean contracts a disease, he holds on to it tenaciously. He has great fear of sickness, and on account of this fear he makes a poor doctor or nurse, whereas the Arian, being under Aires which is a positive sign, will go into a sick room without fear and quickly throw off the disease. If you have a patient who has Taurus rising or the sun in Taurus, never let him think he is much ill, for his fear of sickness will often bring on a spell of it. The Taurean has a tendency to take on flesh in middle life. Being short and thickest as a rule, he becomes very fleshy about the neck and base of the skull. This has a tendency to cause the swelling of glands, tonsillitis, quinsy, and various diseases of the organs of the neck; also polyp.

Gemini
All that nervous energy you burn devitalizes skin cells, so eat plenty of raw vegetables to maintain it. Gemini has rule over the arms, hands, shoulders, lungs, thymus gland, upper ribs, trachea, bronchi, capillaries, breath, and oxygenation of the blood. The Gemini person is subject to nervous troubles. Gemini being one of the common signs, a person born with this sign rising is often very careless of his health and habits, and on this account we find more tubercular patients among Gemini people than among people of any one of the other eleven signs. Gemini being classed among the positive signs, the Gemini person can, if he is given the least bit of help, often throw off a disease. The diseases to which Gemini is most subject are pulmonary troubles, bronchitis, asthma, pneumonia, consumption, pleurisy, and nervous disorders.

Cancer
Feed your hair and nails with calcium rich foods, such as milk, cheese, and green vegetables. This will help to sustain your sensual healthy glow. When we have a horoscope to diagnose for one who has the watery and negative Cancer rising, we may look for one who is low in vitality; one that is very timid yet loath to follow the advice of others. Cancer people are apt to do the opposite from that which they are advised to do. They are also full of suspicion, and on account of lack of faith in others they are difficult to reach; but when their faith has once been established, they are most loyal and ready to cooperate. A little praise or appreciation will often win them over. They are unduly sensitive, and when hurt do not forget it readily. When the sun is in this watery sign, the native has more vitality than when it is rising, for the sun is the giver of life and energy. Cancer has rule over the stomach, diaphragm, and the mammies, upper lobes of the liver, thoracic duct, chymification, peristalsis, the pancreas, gastric vein, and the serum of the blood. The afflictions which may be classed under the sign of Cancer are indigestion, hiccough, flatulency, dropsy, and sclerosis. Cancer people are very fond of food and are usually hearty eaters. Consequently they are often afflicted with diseases which originate in wrong diet; especially do we find this so with the people have Saturn in Cancer. This planet has a restricting influence, and wherever he is found he robs the corresponding organ of its fluids. When in Cancer he gives a desire for pastry and sweets.

Leo
Keep up your natural healthy look by drinking plenty of mineral water and fresh fruit juices. When we have to deal with a patient with Leo on the Ascendant, we have one with great vital energy, one who will not readily succumb to disease. The Leo usually puts up a brave fight to overcome without calling upon others for help, but when he gives up, he is usually very sick; he recovers rapidly from illness, however. His pride will not permit him as a rule to become a charge upon others. Being a positive sign the greatest handicap to the Leo is impulse. He feels he must do everything with a very great amount of energy, which is detrimental to the health of the parts of the body ruled by this vital sign, the heart, aorta, vena cava, dorsal region of the spine, and the spinal cord. The sun, which is the life giver, rules this sign of Leo and also has rule over the vital enteric fluid coming through the spleen, which is the gateway of the solar forces. Through the spleen the sign of Leo draws its strength largely. We find those born with this sign rising very vital and full of force, especially if the sun is also in Leo; but by the destructive use of their surplus energy they are often afflicted with heart trouble of various kinds, also spinal troubles. They suffer frequently with disturbance of the spleen, which has an effect upon the activities of the blood, causing an excess of white blood corpuscles, which are destroyers and not policemen of the blood stream as medical science claims.

Virgo
You're a health guru anyway but keep your lean hips and slender legs looking great by eating garlic and herbs. Virgo is a feminine and negative sign, the second of the earthy triplicate, and has less power of resistance that the fixed sign of Leo. Virgo may stand considerable strain, however, being of a nervous and wiry temperament; still when the Virgo an gives up, he finds it very hard to rise and shake off an illness. Being of a negative disposition he is apt to let circumstances rule him, and does not assert his will power to overcome. Virgo is the natural sixth house sign, the house which has rule over sickness; hence when Virgo people once get into the clutches of sickness, they are apt to become chronic invalids. Therefore though such people make excellent nurses, they should be advised against this vocation and avoid sick rooms and hospitals, for they are like sponges and every ready to take on the disease of their patients. Virgo rules the abdominal region, intestines, the lower lobes of the liver, the spleen, the duodenum, and the sympathetic nervous system. The afflictions which may be classed under the sign of Virgo are determined largely by the planets which may be afflicted in this sign. Cramps in the intestines, wind, colic, malnutrition, diarrhoea, constipation, peritonitis, cholera, dysentery, worms, catarrh of the bowels, and appendicitis may result from afflictions in Virgo.

Libra
You have great, sparkling eyes, keep them clear by eating cucumber, carrot and spinach. Libra is one of the signs wherein the sun is weak. The sun is symbolized by Sampson, who is minus his strength, for Delilah, who is the feminine Virgo, has shorn him of his power, which was in his hair, representing the sun's rays. As the sun enters Libra, it changes from north to south declination; and as Libra is the sign of Saturn's exaltation, the sun's rays at this point, the crossing of the equator, are weakest. Libra people on this account are not always able to rise above physical conditions. Their moods waver like the symbol which represents the sign, the scales. At one time Librans are up in the seventh heaven of happiness and optimism, but at the least mental disturbance they may drop to the very bottom of pessimism and despair. Idealism is well developed in the Libran. The Libran patient should, if possible, never be discouraged in whatever he has set his heart upon doing, for shatter his ideals and down goes one side of the scales into the very deepest discouragement, which often causes ill health. The Libran should cultivate equilibrium. Physiologically this sign rules the kidneys, the lumbar region of the spine, the skin, the uterus, which are the tiny ducts running between the kidneys and the bladder, and the vaso-motor system. The afflictions from with the Libran is most likely to suffer are Bight’s disease, lumbago, disturbed urine. The disease depends greatly upon the planets afflicting: if Saturn, there is a scarcity of urine; if Jupiter, an excess, etc. Nephritis, eczema, and diabetes are also diseases from which the Libran is likely to suffer.

Scorpio
Mysterious and hypnotic, you need to eat plenty of protein-rich fresh fish, shellfish and seaweed to vitalize your sultry skin. The martial, watery sign of Scorpio is one of the least understood signs of the entire twelve. Scorpio produces a number of types. Usually the Scorpio person is of a secretive, timid, retiring nature, one who does not talk of his affairs. But there is another type of Scorpio who is ready to argue at "the drop of the hat," holding our for his point, and he can become very cruel. He usually has an explosive temper, which may, if the horoscope has afflictions, undermine the health. The greatest danger to the health of the Scorpio, however, comes from the generative organs and the ducts through which the excretions of the body pass, such as the urethra (the small canal through which the urine passes from the bladder outward) and the colon, including the anus. The bladder, the sigmoid flexure, prostate gland, pubic bone, the red colouring matter of the blood, and the nasal bones are also under the rule of Scorpio. People born under this sign make good healers, surgeons, doctors, and nurses. But there is often a cruel and tyrannical streak in the Scorpio, and the desire nature is strong, sometimes sensual. Low desires often bring excesses, which may cause the following diseases, expressing themselves according to the planets and the afflicting aspects: syphilis, hernia, scurvy, fistula, piles, inflammation and falling of the womb, uterine troubles, stricture of the prostrate gland, and nasal catarrh.

Sagittarius
Dynamic and always hilarious, keep your teeth sparkling and your mind alert by drinking peppermint teas and water. The Sagittarian is usually the most gentle and easily cured of all patients, for with his frank and kindly nature he is most trusting and ever ready to follow all the instructions of the healer; but he will also respond to every negative suggestion. The healer may have given constructive advice and left the patient feeling encouraged, but should one of his many friends (for the Sagittarian is usually very popular and good mixer and therefore attracts many friends to him) suggest sickness or tell him that he is looking bad or give him some other remedy to follow he is very apt to accept the suggestion. The result is that he often retards his recovery. Therefore it is necessary for the Sagittarian patient to be placed under the care of someone who will protect him from adverse suggestions. Sagittarius rules the region of the body directly surrounding the hips, the sacral region of the spine, the cockerel vertebrae, the femur, the ileum, the iliac arteries, the sciatic nerves, and the schism. The Sagittarian diseases are locomotors ataxia, sciatica, rheumatism, and hip disease.

Capricorn
You need to eat lots of raw leaf vegetables, such as cabbage, spinach and salad leaves, to vitalize the PH balance of your high metabolism. The sign of Capricorn is an earthy sign and ruled by the planet Saturn. Capricorn people do not yield to disease very readily. They are of a wiry, persistent, and stolid nature, and will suffer considerable pain before they will succumb to illness. But once they have given in to sickness then they are just as slow and stubborn in holding on to it. They sometimes become hypochondriacs, and the healer must use most diplomatic methods to break up the crystallized condition with which these Saturnian’s people clothe themselves. The most unfortunate part of it is that if a Capricorn who is in this mental and physical state is aware that anyone is endeavouring to help him, he will resist help and close up against the friend who thus approaches him. Capricorn people are super-sensitive and very retiring. They often form habits of entertaining gloom and despondency, which have a deteriorating effect upon the health. The sign of Capricorn has rule over the knees, the skin, the joints, and the hair. The skin of a Capricorn person is often sallow and dry. The diseases to which Capricorn is subject are eczema, syphilis, leprosy; also dislocation of the bones.

Aquarius
Your body loves unusual, exotic foods such as mangos and star fruit, your skin glows and your body radiates sensuality when you eat them. The fixed and airy sign of Aquarius is under the rule of two planets, the melancholy, fearful, and overanxious Saturn, which is ordinarily termed the planet of obstruction, and the impulsive, heedless, emotional, and hysterical Uranus. While Aquarius is a fixed sign which endows the native with a strong will, still when the Aquarian is afflicted by adverse aspects between certain planets, especially Saturn or Uranus when they are strongly placed in the horoscope, he is prone to develop extreme gloom, pessimism, and sensitiveness, or he is rash and responds to the emotional Uranus. These varying moods frequently result in ill health, which too often takes the form of nervousness. Aquarius being a mental and airy sign, its natives is wiry and ambitious, and is prone to overdo. They can never measure their strength until the body is strained to its very limit, therefore when they do give up they are usually in a critical state; but they will give the healer every opportunity to help them, for they are ever ready to cooperate. Physiologically the sign of Aquarius rules the lower limbs and ankles. The diseases with which the Aquarian may be afflicted are varicose veins, swelling of the legs, and nervous diseases of various kinds. One indication that the Aquarian has when the nerves begin to get weak is extreme sensitiveness of the skin. There is a crawling sensation felt all over the body, as if little insects were crawling on the skin.

Pisces
You have sensitive hands and lips, so drink vegetable juices or eat exotic fruits to stimulate your smooth skin. Pisces is a watery and common sign, and the people born under it are of a lymphatic and negative nature very fond of luxuries, which too often lead them to seek a life of ease; in later life, they are prone to take on an excess of soft, flabby flesh, which leads to ill health. The Pisces people respond very readily to suggestions, whether they are good or evil, and they will also respond just as quickly to the influence of the healer. Do not allow anyone who is of a too sympathetic nature to visit the Piscean while he is ill. Of the over-sympathetic type there are too many in the world today, who think it a social duty to call upon every sick friends and encourage the ailing one to talk about his disease, and then extend to him, oh, so much sympathy! The Piscean person will enjoy the visit of the sympathizer, but when the latter has gone, he usually has a relapse and must quickly send for the doctor or healer. He should be placed in a very cheerful room, with a cheerful attendant, and a sign on the door, "No sympathetic visitors allowed." The Piscean is prone to drift into the habit of drink and the use of narcotics, especially if we find an affliction of the moon and Neptune in the horoscope. Pisces rules the feet, the toes, and the fibrin of the blood. On account of their fondness for good food and an easy life. Piscean people are subject to gout and the swelling of the feet.

N.B. I’m not an ASTROLOGER, it is what the best I’ve collected.








Dec 26, '08



Family Problems,,,, !!!

One American and an Indian were sitting in a bar drinking shot after shot.

The Indian said, 'You know my parents are forcing me to get married to this so called homely girl from a village whom I haven't even met once.' We call this arranged marriage. I don't want to marry a woman whom I don't love... I told them that openly and now have a hell lot of family problems.'

The American said, talking about love marriages... I'll tell you my story.

I married a widow whom I deeply loved and dated for 3 years. 'After a couple of years, my father fell in love with my step-daughter and married her, so my father became my son-in-law and I became my father's father-in-law.

Legally now my daughter is my mother and my wife my grandmother.

More problems occurred when I had a son. My son is my father's brother and so he is my uncle.

Situations turned worse when my father had a son. Now my father's son, my brother is my grandson. Ultimately, I have become my own grandfather and I am my own grandson.. And you say you have family problems... !!!



The Train Jorney,,,,,

Once Musharaf, Manmohan, Aishwarya and Sonia were travelling in a train.

The train goes through a tunnel and it gets completely dark. Suddenly there was a kissing sound and then a slap! ,, train comes out of the tunnel. The women and Manmohan were sitting there looking
perplexed.

Musharaf was bent over holding his face, which is red from an apparent slap. All of them remain diplomatic and nobody said anything. 

Sonia was thinking,,
These Pakistani are all crazy after Aishwarya. Musharaf must have tried to kiss her in the tunnel. Very proper that she slapped him.

Aishwarya was thinking,,
Musharaf must have tried to kiss me but kissed Sonia instead,, and got slapped.

Musharaf was thinking,,
Damn it. Manmohan must have tried to kiss Aishwarya. She might have thought it was me and slapped me.

Manmohan was thinking,,
If this train goes through another tunnel,,,
I will make another kissing sound and slap Musharaf again...!!! *








Dec 24, '08



Too stupidly but is good.....!!

1. During the Cold War, if USA launched a nuke-loaded missile, Soviet Satellites would inform the Soviet army in 3 seconds and in less than 45 seconds Soviet counter-missiles would be on their way.

2. Recent studies commissioned by US department of Defense included one on nuclear war between India and Pakistan.

3. This was the scenario............. ....

The Pakistan army decides to launch a nuke-missile towards India. They don't need any permission from their government, and promptly order the countdowns. Indian technology is highly advanced. In less than 8 seconds, Indian army detects the Pak countdown and decides to launch a missile in retribution.

But they need permission from the Government of India. They submit their request to the Indian President. The President forwards it to the Cabinet.

The Prime Minister calls an emergency Lok Sabha session. The LS meets, but due to several walkouts and severe protests by the opposition, it gets adjourned indefinitely.

The President asks for a quick decision.

In the mean time, the Pak missile failed to take off due to technical failure. Their attempts for a re-launch are still on.

Just then the Indian ruling party is reduced to a minority because a party that was giving outside support withdraws it. The President asks the PM to prove his majority within a week. As the ruling party fails to win the confidence vote, a caretaker government is installed.

The caretaker PM decides to permit the armed forces to launch a nuclear missile. But the Election Commission says that a caretaker government cannot take such a decision because elections are at hand.

The Election Commission files Public Interest Litigation in the Supreme Court alleging misuse of power. The Supreme Court comes to the rescue of the PM, and says the acting! PM is authorized to take this decision in view of the emergency facing the nation.

Just then one of the Pak missiles successfully took off, but it fell 367 miles away from the target, on its own government building in Islamabad at 11.00 AM. Fortunately there were no casualties as no employee had reached the office that early. In any case, the nuclear core of the missile had detached somewhere in flight.

The Pakistan army is now trying to get better technologies from China and USA.

The Indian Government, taking no chances, decides to launch a nuclear missile of its own, after convening an all-party meeting. This time all the parties agree. Its three months since the army had sought permission.. But as preparations begin, "pro-humanity" , "anti-nuclear" activists come out against the Government' s decision. Human chains are formed and Rasta rokos organized.

In California and Washington endless e-mails are sent to Indians condemning the government and mentioning "Please forward it to as many Indians as possible".

On the Pakistan side, the missiles kept malfunctioning. Some missiles deviate from target due to technical failures or high-speed wind blowing over Rajasthan. Many of them land in the Indian Ocean killing some fishes.

A missile (smuggled from USA) is pressed into service. Since the Pakistan army is unable to understand its software, it hits it original destination Russia. Russians successfully intercepts the missile and in retaliation launches a nuclear missile towards Islamabad The missile hits the target and creates havoc.

Pakistan cries for help. India expresses deep regrets for what has happened and sends in a million dollars worth of Parle-G biscuits.

Thus India never gets to launch the missile. Pakistan never gets it right. And both live happily ever after!!!! .








Dec 22, '08



Jokes are what I like since my child hood. I used to hear story and jokes from my grand mother. I have had also purchased few books. Collecting books on various topics was once my hobby. But now I’m unable to continue with stories and jokes in books. Sometimes I search Jokes on net and whenever I found interesting and funny, I always share it with all.

So ready to LAUGH only……

1. Humour between few Lines ….
*Wives dresses to kill. They also cook the same way sometimes.
*A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.
*I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, “There was water in the carburettor.” I asked her, “Where’s the car?” She replied, “In the lake.”
*The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
*I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months – I don’t like to interrupt her.
*My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate. So I got myself two girlfriends.
*Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.
*A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?”  The father replied, “I don’t know son, I’m still paying.”
*A man placed an ad in the classifieds: “Wife wanted.”
The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same: “You can have mine.”
*It’s not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.
*Losing a wife can be very hard.
*A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can ask for whatever he wants, but his mother-in-law gets double of what he gets. The man thinks for a moment and says, Okay, give me a million dollars and beat me till I’m half dead.”
*Boss: Where were you born?
Employee: Punjab..
Boss: which part?
Employee: Kya which part? Whole body born in Punjab.
*2 Person were fixing a bomb in a car.
Person 1: What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
Person 2: Don’t worry, I have one more.
*Person: What is the name of your car?
Lady: I forgot the name, but is starts with 'T'.
Person : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai. Hamaara gaadi petrol se start hoti hai.
*A Person was busy removing a wheel from his auto. A man asks Person why you are removing a wheel from your auto.
Person: Can’t you read the board. Parking is only for 2 wheeler.
*A Person got into a bus on 1st April when conductor asked for ticket. He gave Rs.10/- and took the ticket and said April fool. I have pass..
*On a romantic day a man's girlfriend asks him.
Girlfriend: Darling on our engagement day will you give me a ring.
Person: Ya sure, from landline or mobile??
*Person: How will you destroy a submarine full of people?
Sam: Simple. Just knock the door and they will open it....
*Sam apni girl friend ko I Luv U kehta hai aur giiir jata hai.
Gal: Yeh kya kar rahe ho?
Sam: I'm falling in love.
*Museum Administrator: That's a 500-year-old statue u've broken.
Sam: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.
*A man to Sam: Aao ji chess khelein
Sam: Tu chal mein sports shoes pehen kar aaya. 

2. How Girlz rate Guyz?
Girls' relationship with guys is a bigger mystery than girls themselves. It's not just about boyfriends, we're talking about guy friends that gals have.
Do you have a gal who is just a friend? Are confused why the frequency of calls increases as exams loom closer? Or why she always hangs around with the moron who isn't fit to wear a white shoe? Here's a ready beckoner for you.

Just a friend
Well, you are like a show piece in my house. I will call you whenever I need you. If you call me home the chances are 9 out of 10 times she might say, "Oh dear, I am going out can you call me after 2 days??"

Boy: "Where are you going??"

Grl: "None of your business" and bangs the phone. (Useless fellow Humph!).

Good Friend
You are like a TV remote control. I need you and I know that. But I try using you when I really need you.

Boy calls: Hiiii,

Grl: "Hi, I am going out with family I will call you back. Bye"

(Calls back after two days)

Grl: "What do you want man? Why did you call that day?".

Boy: "Generally".

Grl: "Oh ok. I got to go out. Will call you later. Bye."

Will call when she needs lecture notes or some concert tickets.

Very good friend
Well, you are like the pressure cooker safety valve for the girl. She will need you when she wants to bring out her pain or anger on someone. Basically, she wants to talk to you. And you are special to her.

Grl: "You know dear, he is not eating. He doesn't sleep and is not able to concentrate on his studies. I think he doesn't like me anymore. And yesterday I saw him with another girl".

Boy: "Who is,,, he??"

Grl : "My boyfriend."

Boy: Oh! Ok.

Best Friend
You are like the auto rickshaw driver. She can't live without you. And don't be mistaken. You are not her boyfriend. But you are allowed to take her little doggie around the park so that he (not you!) can have fun.

Shopping, movie, coffee, you pay. I am having fun.

Boy is now sure that he should go ahead and propose. He dares.

Grl: "But I thought we were just friends. We should remain friends

Boy. Plus, I have a boy friend you know that."

Boy: What?? (Boy drinks all night).

Best of the Best Friends
Ok now you are really special. You are dad-cum-boyfriend- cum-brother- cum-everything. Ultimately you are the darling servant of the girl.
You take her around, you make her project, you do her assignments, you are allowed to take her doggie around,
You can hold hands on the beach, you can see the sun set with her (because she wants to do everything she drags you along).

But but ... Don't be mistaken. She has a boyfriend who works for a huge software company and earns 3 times the salary you earn and has a flat in pose area.

Grl: "Hi man. I am getting engaged to him. Hey,, he is my best friend".

Boy: Hi (Hand shake,,, he breaks his wrist).

He is now heart broken and wrist broken.

Boyfriend
Uh... No comments frnsss. You're already Gone!


Now I’m finding,,, where do I stand???

3. The Door Bell...
One night a guy dropped his girlfriend at her home. As they were about to wish each other goodnight at the front door, the guy started feeling a little in the mood.
With an air of confidence, he leaned with his hand against the wall and smiling, he said to her "Honey , would you give me a kiss?"
Horrified, she replied, "Are you mad? My parents will see us!"
"Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?" He asked grinning at her.
"No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?"
" Oh come on!
There's nobody around, they're all sleeping!".
"No way, it's just too risky!"
"Oh please, please, I love you so much?!?".
"No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just can't!".
"Oh yes you can. Please?"
"No, no. I just can't" "I'm begging you... "
Out of the blue, the light on the stairs went on, and the girl's elder sister showed up in her pyjamas, hair dishevelled, And in a sleepy voice she said, "Dad says to go ahead and give him a kiss, or I can do it. Or if need Be, mom says she can come down herself and do it, but for God's sake and all of ours....
Tell him to take his hand off from the door Bellllllll…….. 

4. Singh is king!!
A Pakistani, a Bangladeshi and a Sardarji are sitting at a Pub in Bavaria drinking beer.

The Pakistani drinks his beer and suddenly throws his glass in the air, pulls out a gun and shoots the glass to pieces. He says 'In Islamabad our glasses are so cheap that we don't need to drink from the same one twice.'

The Bangladeshi [obviously impressed by this drinks his beer, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the glass to pieces. He says 'In Dhaka we have so much sand to make glasses that we don't need to drink out of the same glass twice either.'

Sardarji, cool as a cucumber, picks up his beer and drinks it, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the Pakistani and Bangladeshi. He says 'In India we have so many Pakistanis and Bangladeshis that we don't need to drink with the same ones twice'. 

5. Hope
Ek baaar ek gadha paresaan hooo kaar apne dost see boolaa,,,
Yaaar mare malik bada paresan karta haiiii,,
Dost bolaa,,,, naukri choood dee nann bhaiiii,,,
Gadhaa boolaa ,,,,, mere future kaa sawaal haiiii,,,
Dost boola future ka sawaal ….????
Gadha boolaa haaaa,,,,
Malik ki bete bahut khubsurat haiii,,, aur jab bhii oooo saararat kaarto haiiiii,,
Malik kehta haiiii ,,,, “Agar Auur Saarat Karegiii Toooou,,, GADHHE se Sadiii Kar Dungaaa”. 

6. Quote of the day

” Whatever you give a woman, she will make bigger”. 

If you give her love, she'll give you a baby.
If you give her a house, she'll give you a home.
If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal.
If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart.

Since C multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.
So, if you give her any crop, be ready 4 …………????? 

Laughter is a medicine also,,,, Soo better LAUGH only,,,
Aurrr Haaa,, Comments Likhnaa Maaat Bhhhlnaaaa.








Dec 19, '08



3 Step down, union home minister, chief minister of Maharastra and the home minister also.
Not first time in Indian history but after a longer gap MORALITY shakes Delhi and key ministers have had quit. I think congress leadership thought that would be the best and wiser step, to react before the opposition frame them. 

NO, not again,,, is enough,, it is time for an ACTION,, says government.
Not first time nation is watching remarks in such a way. Few years back attack on parliament has had created such scenes. I think the problem of the government is “doubt in mind” about the success of military action. I do believe that India needs PM like Mrs. Indira Gandhi. 

Mumbai attack sounds in UN. 
This time India tabled the issue and succeeds to get sanctions against Pakistan. 

Few leaders in Pakistan detained at home, ban on Al-kayda supporting body.
Not first time, few leaders there have house arrested, head quarters have been sealed, bank account have frozen. I think it the win win formula, every time they use to eye wash the whole world. 

DAWN said, Kasab is Pakistani.
Pakistan’s TV sting operation established, Kasab has parents out there.
In my knowledge very first time Paki media have supported India’s voice in such a manner. 

Do something Mr. Zardari,,, says America.
Whenever any such incidents takes place US secretary of state visits first India for condolence and fly back to home with a break journey in Pakistan. This time US shown more concern since few Americans were also in the list of victims, otherwise whole world know that anger over Pakistan is fizz only, since Pakistan have deployed a paid army along side of Afghanistan border and helping US against OSAMA HUNT also. They have upper hand and exploiting US successfully. 

Around 100 thousand people in Mumbai have created human chain and torched candles.
True gesture of Mumbians, ignored all the warning set by government. 

Aamir Khan postponed release of his most awaited movie, GAJNI.
I think since he was under pressure of SRK’s “RAB”, thought what wud be the better excuse than “the situation”. 

Nooooo,, New Year party Bass,, says Shiv Sena.
One more move to show that how much they are concern all about Mumbai and their DOGMA. 

FIA and Law against terrorism,,said Government.
I think a constructive step to avoid the blame game in future. Like, it is matter of state government,,, or state police is not supporting. 

“Non-cooperation” is not a new situation between governments and investigating agencies, said a known former bureaucrat.
God knows what for he kept all these and was silent since long, when he was holding a crucial position and is one of the loyalists of previous government. 

State chief minister haul over the coals by father of the Major.
ATS chief family snubbed the cheque.
Shows the anger and out burst of Indians. 

Fahim brought back to Mumbai.
Master mind of CRPF camp attack, have had map and other of hotels and few important installations in Mumbai has given reason to the investigating agencies to use him to dig out the master plan behind all this. Surprise Y not this has been considered then seriously, cud have avoid the incident. 

Boosts,Sachin to make his 41st Test century.
Since Sachin has dedicated the TON to Mumbai victims, I think was in his mind to do so, finally created a road map of Indian historic victory and an answer to columnist. 

Union minister have doubt about ATS chief’s killing.
His comment thunders session in parliament. Such steps simply sows how narrow minded the politicians are. 

N.B.
Frndz, I’ve registered what was in my mind with my perspective, if any of U feels more can be added, we may pull on through yur constructive remarks.








Dec 17, '08



No wonder then that their reaction to a problem in hand is absolutely diverse. Women are born hoarders, while men love to move on to the next shiny, new thing that they lay their eyes on. Why do women talk about break-ups all the time? Is it because they are more emotional or just that they don’t hide their true feelings? That’s probably the reason why women still believe in giving any relation that ‘one last chance’, as opposed to a man who know exactly when to call it quits. And when they do so, they are less likely to be caught staring at the picture of their ex on their cell phone.

Sweep it under the carpet it’s not that guys are better at handling break-ups. But they are definitely more prone to sweeping the issue under the carpet. Some one feels, “No man will ever admit that he’s heartbroken. That will make him seem like a loser in front of his other buddies, who are either in a relationship or are proud to be single. Women, on the other hand, are okay with expressing their emotions. They have an image to live up to. And they can’t let people see that something can affect them a lot since are stasher.”

Women who love keeping things can’t ever let go of anything. Somebody says, “Have you ever seen a guy who has collected greeting cards, movie tickets, etc? Also, men have their ‘stud’ value to consider. Many women probably hope to revive their last relationship till they realise that they have fallen for someone else. While men, on the other hand, shut the doors firmly on their relationship and get ready to knock on another one. They are macho beings and have no problem moving on, or so they would like everyone to believe.”

Men tend to have strong bonds with their male friends, while women, on the other hand, tend to lose out on their girlfriends if they are in a relationship. That’s probably why guys get over their relationships and are ready to move on faster than women. Not many married women go out for a girl’s night out, but men continue with their bonding sessions at bowling alleys and over a few drinks even after marriage. Many women centre their lives around a relationship and when a vacuum is created they close their minds to anything new coming their way,”. But things maybe changing what with women spending a lot of time at their workplace and having better means of coping up with the household work.

Get going, is the term which is used to tell a person that the past is now done with and it’s time to look ahead. But, like most things, it’s easier said than done. Not that it’s easy for anyone to move on, but men are just a little better at putting up pretence that nothing affects them. It’s not that that either sex scores over the other when it comes to getting over a break-up, it’s just that they have different ways of coping up. And it’s time we understand this difference.

So, while women talk about break-ups, men talk about hook-ups!

N.B. Xpecting remarks 2 learn that, how far this observation is wrong?









Dec 16, '08



While a man was polishing his new car, his 4 year old daughter picked stone and scratched lines on the side of the car. In anger, the man took the child's hand & hit it many times, not realizing he was using a wrench. 

At the hospital, the child lost all her fingers due to multiple fractures. When the child saw her father with painful eyes she asked 'Dad when will my fingers grow back?' 

Man was so hurt and speechless. He went back to car and kicked it a lot of times. Devastated by his own actions sitting in front of that car he looked at the scratches, child had written 'LOVE YOU DAD'. The next day that man committed suicide. 

I think anger and love has no limits. So let the river of life flow in limits so that this fresh water stream is never scattered. Think twice while u do anything. 

Recently, Shri Shri Ravishankar said, “Anger is Energy in more protective way and sud be channelized”. If U stay with anger for a long time, it take a toll in your health and mind. Don’t do anything wrong or don’t be aggressive when in anger or don’t be passive. Try to find out the in-between path. 

To love someone is natural instinct, to be loved by someone is luck, to live with ur love is success but to live with someone who loves u is 'LIFE'.



Tags: anger, love





Dec 12, '08



They still want mush, love, passion, money and romance!
Rouge finds out why fairytale romances are most women’s favourite fantasy! 

Thought behind PART-I, is humour and critic both.
But, it’s untold story. No compromises, based on Rouge’s random poll.


88% women want to find true love!
Lusty women, passionate women, one-man women, sigh! Women want the same thing -- they want fairytale. They want to feel like Cinderella. Love still makes the world go round. Model Amanpreet Wahi says, “One thing, that I want the most is a person who loves me unconditionally. Believe me, if you get that one person, your life is perfect. I know many people who want money but what’s life without that someone special who loves you. My life is beautiful because of my boyfriend Raghav. A lot of people envy me for that.” Agrees actor Mona Singh, “I want everything but if I am asked to choose, it would be love.”

75% women want to be a tigress at work!
When you see a woman pitching fresh ideas in every meeting and also cancelling dinner dates with her partner or friends for attending an official gathering, she’s a woman who chooses career, hands down. Sarah Jane Dias, model says, “For me, work is my passion. This definitely doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t love to have that special someone but being good at work gives me a high.” Sanya Kapoor, a college student says, “If you have a good career, you get good money with which you can shop, socialise, have nice people around and also get a successful man as your partner.”

90% women still want a good marriage!
We’re still traditional. You got it right. We want to be wooed, and then finally get married happily. At least, that’s what a majority of the women dream about. Is it easy? TV actor Shilpa Saklani says, “For me, there’s nothing more important than a good marriage. Making my married life work is an ambition.”

50% women want good friends
We all need a shoulder to cry on. The TV soap Friends has given us great lessons in love and friendships. When we’re down, the ‘dial-a-friend’ therapy works wonders. Every woman needs friends. Why isn’t Sex and the City all about great friendships. “If you have good friends around you, nothing can bother you. They guard you like pillars all the time,” says HR consultant Deepti Kalra. Isn’t that what friends are for!

75% women want to be high maintenance girls
Show me the money, honey! Yes, that’s what some women love to sing. Gucci bags, Channel glasses, solitaires, high heels, Armani clothes and a penthouse. Aaah! Now, that’s what women dream of. It’s not only a happy distraction but a reality. “I would like to embark on a shopping spree every now and then, without bothering about my dipping bank balance. This will make me the object of envy for every other woman. Money can buy anything - even a nice guy,” says team leader Smita Kullu.

70% women want good sex!
We’ve glamorised sex too much! While men are bragging about the amazing sex they are enjoying, women are left asking for more. Women as you know don’t need much time to rev up when it comes to sex. Bad sex is a dampener! So, we were not surprised when 70% women voted for good sex. Actor Sherlyn Chopra says, “Sex is very important for me. There’s no greater pleasure than a good sex session.”

40% women want to be intellectuals!
Actor Tisca Chopra says, “For me, time is the most desirable thing in this world. There are so many places to visit, so many people to meet. I always feel that if I am not living 60 seconds of a minute, I am not doing justice to my life.”


Contrary, what MEN want,,,,
[Not from survey data]

To know what a man wants is almost as complicated as what a woman wants. The only difference is men are simply strait natured, and women are not in general. So, when a man’s needs or wants become complicated we get confused. How could someone simplistic decide to be complex?

A man wants his cake and to eat it too. This applies to many aspects of a man.

1. A man wants a family without a problem, looking for a homemaker as well money-maker too.
2. A man wants good cook. One way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.
3. A common man sees fit for a night, he does not see fit for life.
4. A man needs a true lover.
5. A man does not want to be dominated by a woman, but always leaves some space to avoid the BLAME.
6. A man does not want to be criticized, but few allow doing this.
7. A man wants a clean wife.
8. A man wants full freedom, but always tries to have grip on her.
9. Men don’t like foul mouths women.
10. Commonly a man transfers all scarifies to her account only. 

Still it is difficult for me to find or better to say fix that, what a woman want. Since I do believe women’s nature has more variation, or I can say her thought process changes rapidly. Basically they are calmer so that capable to keep and control feelings for longer period, if compare to men. 

Mysteries r safer with woman.