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AKHTAR THE STAR.....
WAISEY TO TUMNEY LAAKHON DOST DEKHEY HAIN ..PER MUJH SA KAHIN DEKHA



Jan 02, '09
 GUZREY HUYE SAAL ALVIDAH NAYE SAAL KHUSH AMDEED

             GHARI KI SUIYAAN 12 PER AYEEN 
                         RAAT KEY 12 BAJEY 
SAAL 2008 KI AAKHRI SHAB KEY TIMTIMATE SITAREY DHIREY DHIREY RUPOSH HO GAYE  ......... AUR 
SAAL 2009 KI SEHERANGEZ SUBH KI SUNEHRI KIRNEY RAFTA RAFTA JALWA AFROZ HONEY LAGI...... AUR 
SAAL 2008 TABDEEL HOGAYA SAAL 2009 MAIN 
NAYA SAAL BOHAT BOHAT MUBARAK HO DOSTON 
A VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR TO U ALL MY FRIENDS

AAO IS NAYE SAAL MAIN HUM SAB MILKER KUCH EHED LAIN ....
APNEY MULK BHARAT KO HASEEN SEY HASEEN TER BANAIN 
HER TARAF KHUSHION KA RAAJ HO MUSKURAHATAIN HON QEHQAHEY HON MUSARRAT HO TABASSUM HO 
KOI GUMZADA NA HO KOI AFSURDA NA HO 
KISI KEY ANSOO NA TAPKEY KISI KA LAHU NA BAHEY
KAHIN KOI BAAP KISI BETI KEY JAHEZ KEY LIYE PAREYSHAAN NA HO....
KAHIN KOI MAA BACHON KO BEHLANEY KEY LIYE KHAALI BERTAN CHULEYH PER NA RAKKHEY 
BHAI BEHNON MAIN BAD GUMANI NAA HO
DOSTON MAIN BE IMAANI NAA HO
TAALUQATON MAIN BAD HAZMI NAA HO 
GHARIBI KO MITAIN GHARIBON KO NAHIN
GHADDARON KO MITAIN DOSTON KO NAHIN 
HINDU MUSLIM SIKH EESAI HUM SAB HAIN BHAI BHAI 
IS QAUL KI SACHAI SABIT KAR DENGEY HUM 
DUSHMAN KO SAFA-E-HASTI SEY GHAYEB KAR DEYNGEY HUM ..
NAFRATON KEY BEEJ APNEY DARMIYAN BONEY NAHIN DENGEY HUM 
APNEY MULK KI SHAAN KABHI KUM HONEY NAHIN DENGEY HUM 
JIS KISI NEY MULK PER HAMAREY GHALAT NIGAH DAALI 
EENT KA JAWAB PATTHER SEY DEYNGEY AB HUM 
BOHAT DHOKA KHAYA AUR NAHIN SAHEYNGEY HUM 

SARFAROSHI KI TAMANNA AB HAMAREY DIL MAIN HAI
DEKHNA HAI ZOR KITNA BAZU-E-QATIL MAIN HAI


DUNIYA KO YEH MANNA HI PAREGA 

SAAREY JAHAN SEY ACHA HINDUSTAAN HAMARA
HUM BULBULEY HAIN ISKEY YEH GULISTAAN HAMARA


   




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Dec 29, '08
 KHARAMAAN KHARAMAAN MUATTER MUATTER HAATON MAIN HAATH CHAL DIYE HUM SAATH SAATH

contd...       dil ney phir yaad kiya barq si lehrai hai 
                 phir koi chott mohabbat ki ubher ayee hai

gher sey baher nikla bike start ki aur peley/maradonna ki tarah dodge kertey huye traffic key beech main sey high speed main bhaagney laga. 15 mins. main pohanchna jo thaa. achanak nigah ek friend, rukhsaar per parri jo kharamaan kharaaman muatter muatter chali jaa rahi thi. socha side sey nikel loon mager usney dekh liya aur akhi akhi chillatey huye lapak ker paas aa gayee. oye tu mujh sey katt ker nikal raha thaa tu to.. arrey yaar woh main zara jaldi main hoon u know kisi sey milna hai.. wow! super bike kab li chal mujhey zara gher tak chhorr dey.. yaar woh main chal chal ab drama naa ker.. nahin yaar teri qasam bohat jaldi main hoon kal milta hoon naa long drive per chalengey high speed main is waqt muaaf ker aur bye keh ker aagey barh gaya  

orrey roko roko ! tum kyaa korta hai actor tumhra helmet kider hai.. signal per banerjee uncle ney zabardast taan lagai.. sori uncle gher per bhool gaya aaj chhorr do next time.. noi noi tum apas jao get ur helmet hum chalaan kor dega.. uncle plz. hum bohat jaldi main hai.. oh no my boy tum suna naee better b late than never now common b a gud boy..uncle aaj gher main tanduri chicken bana hai aur rosogollas n roso malai bhi dad aapko yaad ker rahey they..uncle by what time ru back home main aap key liye..oh thanx! my dear normally hum 8 bajey tak okay tum 9 bajey aa jao n bowdi (bhabi) ko boley ga humko leg piece dena i luv it.. ohkz uncle main jaoon.. theek ai tum janeysakta but next time..oh sure.. uncle plz. do me a favour.. humko 500/- loan dedo actually i waz in a hurry to apna wallet gher main bhool gaya..theek ai but humko raat mai aapas ker dega don't 4get.. oh definitely.. uncle ney 500.- ka karara note diya aur main ney gear change kiya hi thaa keh uncle phir boley actor tum kidher ko jata hai humko thora drop kerdeygaa.. uncle hum aapko poora gira dega but acha aap betho..already 5min. waste ho gaya thaa main ney speed tez ker di to uncle ki ghiggi bandh gayee aiee actor tum kyaa korta ai speed kom koro amara insurance bhi naee uaa ai mera wife bolta thaa but.. woh boltey rahey main aur speed barhata raha aur theek 15mins. main hum  tabbu key gher key saamney kharey they..oh my god! bechey gelo rey(bach gaya rey) uncle ney bike per sey jump lagai.. tabbu baher aa chuki thi mujhey uncle key saath dekh ker ghabra gayee woh dauri meri taraf akhi iz everythin all rite.. oh yess! uncle ney usko dekha aur boley oh to aisa baat ai beti ek glaas jal (paani) mileygi.. woh ander gayee to mujh sey boley actor tumra friend bohat beautiful ai phir paani piye aur boley hum jata ai but u do c me at night and best of luck to both of u.. woh gaye aur tabbu ney start liya.. oye akhi tu ney itni der kerdi aur yeh bike per kyon car bech di kyaa.. nahin yaar car meri izzat aur ehtraam key saath garage main khari hai bike ka alag mazza hai yaar acha main zara khala sey mil loon.. oye khabardaar jo ander gaya to.. kyon.. tu jayegaa aur wahin chipak jayegaa.. kyon kyaa her jagah fevicol laga rakkha hai.. khala sey miley bagher to main jaaney ka nahin 5min. bas aur phir hum chalengey bolker main ander bhaaga buaa jee saamney khari thi.. arrey meri pyari bua ji main ney taan lagai buaa jee ghabraker room main bhagi.. arrey kisi ko to chhor diyaker.. khala khala khala aap kahan hain .. ouff tu gher per kyaa aaya jaisey bhonchaal aa gaya.. khala dauri huee ayeen aur main unsey lipatgaya.. mera bachha.. acha ab chal bohat natak ho gaya lagta hai jaisey berson baad mila hai.. acha khala chalta hoon waapsi per aoonga bolker hum nikal aaye.. kyaa baat hai aaj tu bari haseen lag rahi hai kis key qatal ka saamaan hai mashaallah chashmey baddur kaaley libaas main ghazab dhaa rahai hai dekhain yeh bijli aaj kisko khaak kerti hai woh khamosh muskurati rahi sharmati rahi aur main ghayel hota raha.. acha ab chalain ya yahin per apni deewaan mukamil kareyga .. chal baith main to ready hoon.. woh baithi aur jaisey hi usney apna haath merey kandhon per rakkha ek ajeeb si leher merey saarey jism main daur gayee jis ka ehsaas mujhey pehley kabhi nahin huaa....

haan kahan chalna hai bol tu bataigee ya main chaloon apney  
fav. spot per.. teri merzi tu jahan ley chal.. jahannum chalegee.. tu agar saath chaleygaa to theek.. chal filhaal riverside chaltey hain.. kaafi rush thaa .. bhook bhi lagi huee thee.. kyaa khayal hai kuch peth puja ho jaye.. chal ho jaye magar insaanon ki tarah khana.. oye tu merey khaaney ko kyon tokti hai tu kaisi dost hai teri sachi dost hoon isliye fiker rehti hai kahin tu burst naa ho jaye.. main koi tyre hoon.. hai to nahin magar haal yehi raha to ho hi jayegaa.. puchkey khaa rahey they isi darmiyaan kuch larkiyaan aa gayeen aur merey paas khari ho gayeen .. socha zara tabbu ko chheroon ek sey main mukhtib huaa.. hii beautiful oh hii killer! y don't u join us.. oh sure.. excuse me! tabbu un sab ko dhakeltey huee merey paas aa gayee aur bolichal bohat khaa liya ab icecream khaatey hain aur mujhey khenchtey huye ley gayee.. arrey ruk to bye to ker loon.. kyon.. koi zaroorat nahin.. kambakht churail.. uska chhera uter gaya aankhon main ansoo terney lagey.. arrey yaar main to mazaq ker raha thaa.. akhi aisa mazaq naa kiya ker.. ohkz yaar m sori chal tu apna mood theek kerley chal boating kertey hain.. nahin mujhey derr lagta hai.. arrey main hoon naa terey saath.. main ney ek boat hire ki aur charon taraf chakker kaat ker beech samunder per ruk gaye .. tabbu.. haan.. zara soch agar toofaan aa jaye to kyaa ho.. mujhey dara mat.. waisey aasmaan saaf hai toofaan ka koi andesha nahin.. tujhey swimming to aati hogi.. nahin main ney seekhi nahin.. tujhey aati hai.. kyaa.. swimming aur kyaa.. haan aati hai main to champ hoon kai medal jeet chuka hoon.. acha dekh naa yahan kitna acha lag raha hai.. chaaron taraf paani, beech main hum uper khula aasmaan, thandi mast hawa, sukoon khamoshi,tanhai, tu aur main.. oye tabbu kyaa iradey hain terey 
akhi kuch suna naa woh meri baat kaattey huye boli.. kyaa sunaoon.. kuch bhi acha sa pyara sa.. acha sun....
             aankhon per palkon key ghoongat 
             gaalon per zulfon ka pehra 
             subhaan allah subhaan allah
             aapka chheraa 

             ek reshmi dopatta bahon per jhoolta hai 
             halka sa ek tabassum hoton ko choomta hai 
             neechi nazar main chhupa hai 
             jaisey koi raaz gehra
             subhaan allah subhaan allah
             aapka chhera

             nazuk libaas main yun nazuk badan chhupa hai
             shabnam key perahan main jaisey chaman chhupa hai 
             ya chaand per aasmaan key
             lipta hai badal sunehra
             subhaan allah subhaan allah
             aapka chhera

             jazbaat ki mehek sey saansain basi huee hain 
             zulfon main motiye ki kaliyaan chuni huee hain 
             ya raat baandhey huye hai
             sir per sitaron ka sehra   
             subhaan allah subhaan allah
             aapka chherra  

ghazal suntey suntey woh naa jaaney kahan kho gayee.. main ney zara sa paani liya aur uskey chherey per chhirak diya.. oye kyaa kerta hai tu.. akhi qasam sey mazzza aa gaya..teri ghazal ney is mahol main chaar chaand laga diye.. dil chhah raha hai tu sunata jaa aur main sunti jaoon .. bas bas ab waapas aa jaa raat kafi ho chuki aur sannata bhi.. kafi haadsey ho chukey hain yahan isliye ab chal waisey bhi mujhey kahin aur bhi jana hai.. ohho aisa! kahan jana hai janab aapney.. kuch dost hain unkey paas.. itni raat main.. haan ji.. main bhi chaloongi.. terey abbu hum dono ka murder ker dengey..koi baat nahin.. hum dono ek saath khilaon main fizaon main aasmaanon main ghoomtey phirengey..waisey bhi tujey woh jagah pasand nahin ayegee.. kyon.. bus yunhi.. beherhaal jo bhi ho main terey saath jaoongi n dat iz final.. ohkz yaar pehley yahan sey to nikal..aur hum kharamaan kharaanman muatter muatter haathon main haath daaley gungunatey huye wapas nikal aaye.. ice cream wala hamara intezaar ker raha thaa..icecreamz kahan khai thi hum ney




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Dec 24, '08
 ISHQ KI TAUHEEN KHATA HAI KEH NAHIN HAI

            yeh ishq nahin aasaan bas itna samajh lijye
            ek aag ka dariya hai aur doob ker jaana hai        

lettey hi need ki pari ney aagosh main leyliya aur main uskey saath hawon main fizaon main terta raha achanak woh mujhey chhor ker jaaney lagi main ney poocha kyaa huaa boli koi banda hai wasim usko meri zaroorat hai , main ney kaha arrey woh to mera dost hai haan aajkal der raat tak jaagta rehta hai akhtar shumari (counting stars)kerta rehta hai jayain aap usper meherbaan ho jayain shayad woh bhi kisi ki zulf ka aseer ho gaya hai

aankhain khuli to damagh ki khirkiyaan bhi khul gayeen aur mukhtalif soch hamlazan ho gaye.. sab sey pehla waar ishq ney kiya main sochney laga yeh pyar mohabbat ishq hai kyaa.. meri dost sam kehti hai pyar larkiyon ki pareshaani hai unkey sir ka dard hai, kuch aur hain jo kehti hai pyar museebat hai ishq bala hai hazrat-e-ghalib ney bhi farmaya 
                ishq ney nikamma ker diya ghalib 
                werna hum bhi they aadmi kaam key
main sochney laga kyaa waqi yehi hai ishq ki rudaad dil ney kaha nahin ishq to qudrat ka diya huaa nayaab tohfa hai, ek haseen khayal hai, ek dil nashin ehsaas hai, ek dilkush aur paak  jazba hai jo kisi per jaan nichawer kerta hai, kisi ko be laus chahney lagta hai, kisi ki khatir mer mitney ko tayyaar ho jata hai, kisi ko apna bana leta hai ya kisi ka ban jata hai, kisi ko khud main sama leta hai ya kisi main sama jata hai. 

ishq, derasal do tarah key hotey hain, ishq-e-haqeeqee aur ishq-e-majazi. ishq-e-haqeeqee woh hota hai jo hum apney paida kerney waley sey kertey hain yani ALLAH SUBHANAHU SEY jaisa hamarey rasool aur diger paigambaron ney kiya. pichley zamaney ki baat hai ek sahab ana-al-huq ana-al-huq yani main KHUDA HOON, MAIN KHUDA HOON ka naaraa lagatey they, logon ney shikayet ki aur hakim-e-waqt ney unhain qatal kerwadiya baad main logon key samajh main aaya keh ALLAH sey unka ishq itna buland ho gaya thaa keh unko her cheez main KHUDA nazar aaney laga thaa. Hazrat-e-iqbal ney jab shikwa aur jawab-e-shikwa tehreer kiya to unper fatwah lag gaya baad main jab logon ki samajh main aaya to unko is sadi ka azeem shair key laqab sey nawaza gaya. 

ishq-e-majazi woh hota hai jo hum ek doosrey sey kertey hain, maslan laila majnu, shereen farhaad, heer raanjha, wasim wasima,akhtar tabbu,  farhan farheen, lovely lovela,mazaq ker raha hoon yaar bura mat maanna just kiddin  qissa mashoor hai keh ek saheb namaaz parh rahey they aur qais(majnu)  unkey saamney sey guzer gaya woh saheb bohat naraaz huye to majnu ney kaha "main to apni laila ki yaad main is qadar gharq thaa keh main ney khayal hi nahin kiya aur tu, teri ebadat kaisi thi keh tu ney mujhey dekha guzertey huye. woh shaks sharamsaar ho gaya. aur woh 

achanak merey khayaalat muntashir ho gaye, ek dhamaka sa huaa aur main bedaar ho gaya koi derwaza peet raha thaa.. mera mulazim thaa.. big bro big bro y u not derwaza kholing i dastak ding u not kholing u.. abbey bas ker bas ker kyon urdu aur angrezi ki jung kerwa raha hai.. abbey sun to mughlon ko chhor ker yeh farangiyon ki taraf .. kyaa mughlon ney tujhey laat maar di ya tu bhi hamarey siyasatdano ki tarah dal badlu ho gaya.. aur sun agar derwaza toot jata to abbu tujhey derwazwy ki jagah fit kerwa detey aur tu din bher khulta aur band hota rehta.. acha yeh bata teri shaamat ney dhakka kyon diya aur tu yahan kyon aaya abhi aisi maar lagaoonga keh teri saareh teen pushtain ganji paida hongi chal bata baat kyaa hai.. woh zilley subhani aur malka-e-alam chai per aapka intezaar farma rahey hain aap tashreef la rahey hain ya aapki chai yahan bhijwadi jai.. nahin mabadolat ba nafs-o-nafees abbu huzoor ki khidmat main pesh hongey.. chal tu nikal .. jaa raha hoon woh derasal bhaijaan aajkal main chhoti baji sey angrezi ki taaleem ley raha hoon na isliye socha thori practice kerloon.. oh yeh baat hai acha ruk main bhi aajkal boxing ki taleem ley raha hoon main bhi zara practice ker loon.. bhaijaan zara jaldi .. 

to meri dost sam aur ..........
        tum poochtey ho ishq bala hai keh nahin hai 
kyaa jaaney tumhain khauf-e-khuda hai keh nahin hai

jeeney ka huner sabko sikhata hai yehi ishq
insaan ko insaan banata hai yehi ishq
bandey ko khuda kerkey dikhata hai yehi ishq
is ishq ki tauheen khata hai keh nahin hai              

abhi tayyaar ho hi raha thaa keh cell baj utha.. tabbu thi akhi tu kyaa ker raha hai..
           phir wohi shaam wohi gham wohi tanhai hai 
           dil ko terpaney uski yaad chali aayee hai
oho barey romantic mood main hai .. hai kaun woh ..
            ek husn-e-mujjasim ka parastaar hoon akhtar 
            keh nahin sakta keh woh but hai ya khuda hai
oye sun terey ander kisi tatpoonjiye shair ki rooh sama gayee hai kyaa .. seedhi tarah guftugu kareygaa ya.. ya kyaa.. kyaa ker legi tu.. nahin kerta bol kyaa karegi.. oho bara akkar raha hai.. phoonk bher gayee hai kyaa.. bataoon kyaa karoongi.. haan bata.. acha main wahin aa ker batati hoon.. oye oye ruk.. kyaa ghazab kerti hai tu..
abbu gher per hain.. ulti chhuri sey kaat dalengey ..acha bol kyaa bolti tu.. sun naa.. haan bol naa.. acha jaldi bol zyadah nakhrey naa dikhaa.. aa jaoon kyaa.. ouff merey rabba yeh kis churail sey pala parh gaya.. oye tu ney mujhey chrail kaha.. ab to mujhey aana hi paregaa .. theek hai to aajaa.. quake aa gaya to tu zimmedaar.. acha chhor aaj mera mood bohat acha hai aur mausam bhi khushgawaar hai chal naa kahin chaltey hain.. naa na bolna tujhey meri qasam..  magar kahan..
         akhi ...    door kahin tu chal 
                          dil raha hai machal 
                          in ghataon main pyar ki raahon main 
                          tu mujhey ley chal 
arrey waah! tambu tu to ..oye phir tambu.. kabhi to pyar sey tabassum bol diya ker.. yaar tera naam leney main poorey 5 min. lag jaatey hain aur honton ka design bigher jaata hai yaar.. acha theek hai tu rang roghan kerley main.. kyaa matlab .. oye yaar matlab tu tayyaar hoja make up shake up ker ley main 15 min. main pohonchta hoon .. arrey waah!  balley balley dat iz like my bhondu akhi .. oye kyaa boli tu ..magar line munqata ho gayee thee .. main fatafat tayyaar huaa chai shai pee aur abbu sey ejazat leker chal para...
        mohabbat main farq nahin jeeney aur merney ka
        usi ko dekhker jeetey hain jis kafir per dam nikley












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Dec 16, '08
 DILLAGI BILAKHIR DIL KI LAGI BAN HI GAYEE

                 woh jab yaad aaye bohat yaad aaye 
                 gham-e-zindagi key andherey main gum
                 charaagh-e-mohabbat jalaye bujhaye 
                 woh jab yaad aaye bohat yaad aaye           

woh derwazey tak merey saath ayee phir ruk gayee.. kyaa huaa chaleygee nahin.. main ney zara shokhi sey kaha.. kahan ? usney bari masoomyet sey poochha.. hai o rabba..
               masoom chhera aur yeh bholi bhali baatain 
               ab tum hi kaho pyar aaye ya naa aaye 
usney sharma ker nazrain jhuka li ..
                nigah neechi kiye sir jhukaye baithey hain 
                yehi to hain jo mera dil churaye baithey hain 
baithi kahan hoon main to khari hoon aur saath hi hamara qehqaha bulund huaa.. chal chaltey hain ufaq key us paar, ya chaand sitaron tak..ya jheel key us paar.. jahan tu kahey.. filhaal to tu gher jaa terey news channel ney agar khabar leak ker di to sara kuch darham barham ho gaya hoga.. terey abbu jee teri car ka horn sunney key liye betaab hongey aur main agar foran wapas naa gayee to merey abbujee baher nikal ayengey dekhney teri car ka tyre puncture huaa ya tu.. isliye .. oho to tu ja naa main chala jaoonga.. naa pehley tu jaa.. yahan aas paas main bohat saarey sharks hain.. mujhey teri fiker hai.. kyaa huaa agar kisi ney kha liya.. main nahin .... oye chup! chup ker! badfaal mat... woh daurti huee ayee aur merey honton per apna haath rakh diya.. aankhon main ansoo they aur jism laraz raha thaa.. dobara kabhi aisi baat naa kerna.. chal ab car main baith aur.. chal naa plz. mujhey der ho rahi hai.. main khamosh usko dekhta raha aur car main baith gaya.. aisey kyaa dekh raha hai car start ker ya dhakka .. main ney car start ki aur rafta rafta usko khud sey door hota dekhta raha..bil aakhir woh nazron sey ojhal ho gayee.. dil key maqam per ek khalish si mehsoos huee..  uncle ghalib yaad aa gaye
          koi merey dil sey poochhey terey teer-e-neem kash ko
          yeh khalish kahan sey hoti jo jiger key paar hota
achanak mera haath kisi cheez sey takraya.. chhanell 5 mera fav. perfume.. saath main ek card jis per likha thaa.."us seherangez shaks key liye jo mujhey jaan sey zyadah aziz hai.. waisey to tu yaad kerta nahin shayad iski khushbu tujhey meri yaad.. jism main merey ek leher si daur gayee.. main ney car ki rafteer barhadi.. nigahon main ek bijli si koond gayee.. khayalat, tasawuraat, naghmaat,ahsaasaat sab aapas main gudmud ho gaye aur main unmain gum hoker reh gaya...
           ai hawa merey saath saath chal 
           merey dil main machi hai hulchul
gher ponhcha to mera mulazim, muhglai saamney khara thaa.. mujhey dekhtey hi usney taan lagai.. ba adab ba mulahiza hoshiyaar.. nigah neechi rahey.. hosh-o-hawaas qayam.. zilley elahi tashreef laa rahey hain.. abbey mughlon ki bhatakti huee bad-rooh.. main ney kaha.. tujhey laal qiley key gate per seedha latka doonga aur sheher key saarey parindey subah shaam terey sir per farigh huaa karengey.. woh daura huaa merey qareeb aaya aur bol.. bhaiya jee suna hai aapney apni rafiq-e-hayat chun li hai aur woh MASHALLAH chand-e-aftaab chand-e-mahatab america si ayee hain.. to woh to mem saheb huee naa.. farangiyon ki zubaan bolengi.. hamari zubaan to wo jaanti nahin hain shayed to hum guft-o-shunaid kaisey karenge bara masala 
abbey chupker aur yeh bata ander ka mausam kaisa hai mahol kaisa hai temp. kyaa hain aur.. mausam ka to aisa hai bhaiya jee kabhi garam kabhi sard, mahol khushgawar bhi hai aur thora saugwaar bhi hai.. temps. max. 100 tak gaya hai abbu jee ka aur min. 12 tak gaya hai amma jee ka.. to tera forecast kyaa hai .. bhaiyajee thori garam hawa to chaleygee hi uskey baad sab kuch normal ho jayegaa.. acha aur woh news chanell kahan hai.. woh apney deewan-e-khaas main apni saheliyon key saath film dekh rahi hain sholay.. bhaiyaa jee suna hai garhbarh khan ney .. abey bas ker jaa merey liye ek glass juice bana ker laa lamba wala aur chakh ker mat dekhna werna usi juice main tujhey dubaadoonga betey akhtar kahan hain aap subha sey aur yeh tabassum kaun hai.. abbu ki garajdaar awaaz ney sannatey ko cheer ker rakh diya.. abbu main woh a.c.market gaya thaa aapka saamaan laaney to tambu jee mera matlab hai woh tabassum meri friend ney bhi shopping kerni thi uska koi bhai to hai nahin to woh bhi  saath ho li waapsi main usko drop kerney gaya to khala ney khaaney per rok liya.. wahan sey faarigh ho ker apney doston main chala gaya thaa sab sey miley kafi din ho gaye they abhi wahin sey aa raha hoon.. yeh abbu aap ka saamaan.. dekha aapney begum main na kehta thaa aisi koi baat nahin hai aap khwamakhwa .. kyaa huaa abbu koi khaas baat.. nahin betaji aap jayain aaraam karain thak gaye hogey.. main shahana chaal chaltey huye, jaisey koi qila fatah ker liya ho, apney room aa gaya.. abhi baitha hi thaa keh cell bajney laga.. haan bol.. tu saath khairyat key pohanch gaya sab theek hai bambari to nahin huee tu zakhmi to nahin huaa ya terey liye koi tel ya merham bhejoon maalish kerwani ho to bol usney hanstey huye kaha.. nahin yaar sab theek hai naa bambari huee aur naa main zakhmi hoon magar haan dil main ek meetha meetha sa dard hai iski koi dawa hai to bata.. ya kisi aur sey.. ley key dekh jaan ley loongi teri bhi aur uski bhi.. baad main baat karoongi yeh amma ney to bas tabbu tabbu.. mughlai juice ley aaya.. abbey tu bhi ab shaadi ker ley.. kaisey karoon bhaiya jee jitni bhi larkiyaan hain aas paas ya to umer main bohat zyadah hain ya bohat kum.. oye yaar acha bata teri umer kitni hai.. 24 saal hai bhaiya jee.. haan to tu ek kaam ker naa tu 12 12 saal ki do larkiyan dekh ley.. dono ko mila ker 24 ho gayee naa.. arrey waah bhaiya jee yeh to main ney socha hi na thaa.. kuch der baad bola bhaiya jee acha idea diya aapney main kyaa sardar hoon.. acha jaa ab gul ho jaa main zara aaraam karoonga .. bed per jump lagai aur yeh ja woh ja...
           
        

                   
 


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Dec 11, '08
 KYAA YAHI PYAR HAI HAAN SHAYED YAHI PYAAR HAI

            unhi raaston per jin per gaamzan they humdono
            mujhey rok rok poochha tera humsafar kahan hai   

akhi.. hmm.. akhi.. haan bol.. tu kyaa soch raha hai.. main yeh soch raha hoon.. haan tu kyaa soch raha hai akhi.. main yeh soch raha hoon tabbu keh duniya main pehley kyaa aaya thaa anda ya murghi.. kyaaaaaaa! .. tu yeh.. haan yaar yeh koi mamooli baat nahin hai .. agar mujhey pata lag jaye to main crorepati ban sakta hoon.. woh kaisey.. woh aisey keh is sawal ka aajtak koi jawab nahin dey paya.. agar jawab main dey doon to mujhey duniya bher key awards mil jayengey aur ho sakta hai nobel prize bhi mil jaye to main crorepati bhi banjaoonga aur famous bhi ho jaoonga duniya ki sair bhi kerloonga.. woh kaisey  ab zahir hai jo mulk award deyga to mujhey wahan jana hoga award receive kerney.. woh aisey.. acha.. woh qehqaha lagatey huye boli.. mujhey ley chalega saath.. haan abhi tu hans ley mera mazaq urra ley kal jab meri tasweer dekhey gi her akhbaar key front page per tab.. haan tasweer key neechey likha hoga talash gumshuda jo koi khabar dega usko ek murghi aur ek anda enaam diya jayegaa.. humdono ka qehqaha buland huaa aur hamari car bhi hichkoley khaney lagi..

arrey chhor yaar akhi humain nahin chahiye paisey hum waisey hi theek hain.. "humain" kyaa matlab hai tera tujhey nahin chahiye tu amir baap ki beti hai terey paas bunglow hai,cars hain, factories hain, bank balace hai, merey paas kyaa hai, main mazdoor aadmi din bher khoon pasina bahata hoon to gandhi jee ki shakal nazar aati hai aur kuch hi der main ghayeb ho jati hai . waah! merey mazdoor tu travera drive kerta hai, behtreen aur qeemti libaas zebtan kerta hai, ek adad sports car bhi hai aur bike bhi, dus logon ka khaana akeley harrap ker jata hai, omega watch aur rayban goggles kitney hain pata nahin phirbhi tu mazdoor hai to.. arrey yaar woh sab to merey abbujee ka hai unhon ney mujhey diye hain.. aur tu jo kaam shaam kerta hai haan mujhey paisey miltey hain magar woh sub kharach ker daalta hoon.. tu woh paisey merey paas jama kerwaya ker.. aur jab zaroorat ho to terey paas america aoon paisey leney.. oye main america nahin jaoongi.. kyon parhai poori nahin kerni.. bus bohat parh liya.. ab terey sir per sawar rahoongi her waqt.. waisey bhi akhi jo mera hai woh sabkuch tera bhi to hai naa.. kyaaaa! kyaa matlab.. woh zara satpatai.. arrey yaar hum dost hain naa tujhey zaroorat ho to maang liya ker.. mujhey maangney ki adat nahin hai main muskurahut chhupatey huye bola.. to theek hai main sara kuch terey naam likh deti hoon.. kyon.. uski aankhon main jhaanktey huye main ney poochha.. pata nahin avin dil chhahta hai usney shokhi sey kaha. uski aankhon main ek khaas chamak thi aur hoton per ek shirmelee si muskurahat....

achanak mera cell baj utha.. dekh zara kaun hai.. hogi teri koi manzoor-e-nazar.. boldey main bol raha hoon keh main nahin hoon.. yeh princess kaun hai.. oh laa dey meri koi khaas hai.. hii princess.. hii bro.. where r u.. on cloud nine sis.. oh really.. yup.. u alone dere.. naa i have wid me world's most beautiful girl n v r having a gr8 time.. wow! bro how romantic.. arrey bhai main bohat mushkil main hoon.. hey sis iz dat u tum urdu main bol rahi ho farangi naaraaz ho jayengey.. bhai plz.. main roxy hall key baher khari hoon.. the movie iz over but.. but.. naa koi cab hai naa auto.. how do i go home bro plz. bro can u come over tell me exactly where r u at dis point of time.. chill sis not to worry go back to the theatre n watch the movie for the 2nd time m sure u will enjoy it more.. arrey kyon pareshaan ker raha hai tu usko.. bro plz.. ohkz sis m coming have just left the a.c.market and will catch u in 5 mins.. car dekhtey hi woh dauri car ki taraf.. main baher nikal ker side main khara ho gaya.. usney tabbu ko ghaur sey dekha phir ander jhanka.. driving seat khali thi.. number plate check kiya.. dobara ander jhanka.. phir tabbu sey boli.. aapkey saath jo they woh kahan gaye.. merey saath to mera driver hai.. tabbu ney bhi maza letey huye bola.. woh merey liye icecream laaney gaya hai.. aap kaun.. jee main princess oh woh main mehek hoon dekhain aap mind nahin karain plz. yeh car merey bro ki hai woh.. ma'm icecream.. main ney chhera chhupatey huye awaaz lagai.. acha aap ander aa ker bathain aur phir batain kyaa baat hai tabbu ney kaha.. lain icecream khain.. oh yeh to meri fav. icecream hai aapkey driver ko kaisey pata.. yeh meri bhi fav. hai.. driver tu bhi ley ley ek..usney hanstey huye kaha.. thanku .. oho bro dis iz u.. usney awaaz pehchaan li.. aaplog bohat kharab hain u know mujhey bewaqoof bana rahey they.. nahin princess uski zaroorat hi nahin thi.. itz understood.. acha jaldi icecream khatam kero.. bro woh merey qareeb ayee.. bhabi bohat achi hai she iz cool.. r u crazy aisi koi baat nahin hai she iz just a friend.. acha main terey liye cab ker deta hoon u move on.. woh chali gayee aur hum gher ki taraf rawana ho gaye.. akhi teri sis bohat sweet hai.. haan aur bbc, cnn, aur ndtv sey bhi powerful news channel hai.. abtak yeh khabar saarey gher aur aas paas main phel gayee hogi...

gher main daakhil huye to buaa jee nazar ayeen main ney kaha bua jee aapki qasam bohat miss kiya aapko aap hotin to drive ka maza dobala ho jata.. buaa jee shermatey huye ghayeb ho gayeen.. kisi ko to chhor diya ker.. aagey barhey to dekha khala hall main enter ker rahi thin.. khalaaaa meri khalaaa main unsey lipat gaya.. khala ainda aap mere saath chalengee main aapkey bagher drive per nahin jaoonga.. bohat yaad kiya main ney aapko.. haan berson baad jo mila hai khalaka chumcha.. merey bachey main zaroor chaloongi terey saath.. khala yeh tabbu itna jalti kyon hai humsey.. arrey beta yeh hai hi aisi tu isko chhorr aa yahan baith thak gaya hoga mera bacha.. jee khala bohatthak gaya hoon bhook bhi lagi hai.. tabbu jaldi khana lagwao.. khala main nahari khaoonga.. haan beta zaroor.. nahari khatam ho gayee hai aur rotian bhi nahin hain tera 4-5 rotion sey kyaa hoga kumazkum 20-25 chahiye.. tabbu bakwaas na kero jao jaldi khana lagwao.. amma main bhi to thak gayi hoon.. tu kyaa thaki aaraam sey jum ker baithi thi.. car main drive ker raha thaa.. pata hai kitni energy.. haan haan pata hai car key saath thori si petrol apney ander bhi delwa lena thaa.. phir energy hi energy hoti terey ander.. jum ker khana khaya.. nahari bohat shaandaar thi.. zeest ka maza aa gaya.. khala nahari aap ney banai .. haan beta.. tabbu ko bhi sikha dain.. mujhey nahin sikhni.. zindagi kut jayegi nahari banatey banatey.. khala neend aa rahi hai thori der so loon..haan beta aao yahan let jao merey paas.. bus sirf kha aur so phir khaa phir so.. bail kahin ka.. khala aap sun rahi hain.. haan beta tu iski baat per dhiyaan naa dai yeh to pagli hai.. khala ka dast-e-shafaqqat rakhtey hi neend ki devi ney apney aagosh main ley liya..kafi der soya.. achanak chehrey per pani key qatraat pareh to aankh khul gayee.. yeh be-mausam ki bersaat kaisey..dekha to tabbu saheba baadal banker baras rahi thin.. haath main pani ka glass aur qatrey merey chhereh per.. uth jaa ab gendey kitna soye gaa chal chai pi ley tera to do chaar cup main hoga nahin isliye drum bher ker rakh diya.. gatak jaa..
        milatey ho khaak main usko jo dil sey milta hai
        janab-e-mun aisa dost bari mushkil sey milta hai
chai shai pi.. khallo sey do bazi shatranj ki huee.. kuch guft-o-shuneed huee haalaat-e-haazra per phir main ney ejazat li is wadey key saath key INSHALLAH JALD MILEYNGEY...chehra udaas aankhain udaas hoton per ek pheeki si muskurahet.. kyaa huaa yeh udasi key badal kyon chhah gaye.. ohho tu ney bari fiker ki chal KHUDA HAFIZ apna khayal rakhna main call karoongi kerlena waisey main shayad hi miloon..kyon tu kahin jaa raha hai..arrey nahin yaar KHANA AUR SONA PHIR KHANA PHIR SONA...U KNOW BAIL ..BUFFALO...haan haan pata hai usney qehqaha lagaya...

             kaaley kaaley woh gesu shikan der shikan 
             woh tabassum ka alam chaman der chaman
             khench li hai tasweer unki dil ney merey
             ab woh daman bacha ker kahan jayengey
        
                                                                                 


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Dec 07, '08
 RAFTA RAFTA HUM UNKEY DIL KEY MEHMAAN HO GAYE

        DIL CHAHTA HAI PHIR WOHI FURSAT KEY RAAT DIN
        BETHEY RAHAIN TASAWWUR-E-JANA KIYE HUYE        

haan jee tambu jee .. bolo jee akhi jee .. akhtar kabhi to tu mera sahi naam ley liya ker ya yeh hasrat liye main .. america chali jao gee ?..nahin duniya sey hi chali jaoongi.. oh naa naa aisa naa kerna.. kyon tujhey kyaa farq parehga.. teri to hazaron girl frienz hain.. on line bhi aur out line bhi.. haan woh to hain yaar per tabbu to ek hi hai.. tu chali gayee to chheroonga kisey sataoonga kisko.. dekh tu ek kaam ker main pehley ek tabbu ready kerloon phir tu chatpat hojana .. akhi tu kitna zalim hai sangdil hai waisey main ek baat soch rahi thi.. oye tabbu tu soch bhi sakti hai yaar.. haan to .. woh khala keh rahi thin yeh larki bilkul bewaqoof hai naa kuch sochti hai na samajhti hai bus.. tu naa main main.. acha chhor tu bata kyaa soch rahi thi ..yehi keh abbu ney terey saath aaney ki ejazat dedi .. woh to deni hi thi yeh dekh ejazat maang kaun raha thaa.. maabadolat.. kismey hai itna dum jo karey inkaar.. acha acha ab zyadah phool mat phat jayegaa meri dress kharab ho jayegee.. oho aaj to barey mood main hai kyaa baat hai.. koi lottery nikal ayee hai.. aisa hi samajh ley.. oye tabbu tu sanjeeda hai.. haan bilkul.. tu mazaq to nahin ker rahi.. nahin bilkul nahin.. tu waqi sanjeeda hai.. arrey haan yaar bilkul.. nahin main samjha tu mazaq ker rahi hai.. tabbu.. haan bol.. r u really serious.. oye tu pagal to nahin ho gaya.. nahin yaar main samjha u r joking..oye maar dallongi yeh kyaa sanjeeda aur mazaq laga rakkha hai.. tu sachmuch sanjeeda hai mazaq bilkul nahin ker rahi naa.. oye akhi agar aur ek baar poochha to tera khoon pee jaoongi.. oh aisa kyaa waqi tu.. arrey arrey yeh kyaa ker rahi hai mera gala chhorr acha ab nahin boloonga.. ouff tu pichley janam main kyaa dracula ki behen thi.. haan thi to.. ab bhi hoon.. dikhaoon phir.. oye nahin.. saara mood kharab ker diya.. fiker naa ker abhi tera mood banata hoon.. main hoon naa..woh ek din ek sardaarji apni behen key saath gher sey nikley to kuch manchalon ney awaaz lagai "sardarji mashooqa ko leker kidher chaley" oye mashooqa ho gi teri yeh to meri behen hai".. tabbu ka qehqaha buland huaa boli kyaa waqi sardar itney bewaqoof hotey hain .. pata nahin pooch ker bataoonga .. ek sardarji ko bus main log buri tarah peet rahey they phir bus sey baher dhakka dey diya main ney poochha pappey jee huaa kiya logon ney aapki dhulai ker di..boley pata nahin bhai saheb main khud hairaan hoon woh meri ek photo bus main gir gayee thee to main ney bola behenji zara sari uthao photo leni hai .. bataney ki zaroorat to nahin keh car main zabardast zilzila aaya aur kafi der tak car lehrati rahi.. jab hansee ka toofaan thama to main ney kaha..    tabbu jee           ...  haanjee .. 
            ab kahan chalain ...  jahan tum ley chalo    
      phir bhi manzil kidher ...  jahan tery qadam rukain 
tabbu ek baat bata america main to terey bohat saarey dost hongey wahan larkey larkiyaan mera matlab hai.. haan haan main samajh rahi hoon lekin mera koi dost nahin.. aisa kyon.. hmm meri taraf dekhi aur ek qatil ada key sey saath boli wahan tu jo nahin thaa.. tujhey pata hai main itni jaldi kisi key saath free nahin hoti merey cousins mujhey moonh aithi aur ghamandi aur jaaney kyaa kyaa kehtey hain...woh boley jaa rahi thi aur main soch raha thaa...
     dilkush chhera dil nasheen adayain dil fareb baatain 
     hairan hoon tujhey dekhoon ya tujh sey baat karoon 
oye akhi arrey muraghbey main chala gaya kyaa.. wapas aaja.. haan bol.. meri taraf ghaur sey dekhi aur boli.. tujhey kyaa huaa.. kuch bhi nahin.. jhut mat bol sach bata kyaa huaa.. sach bata doon.. haan.. to tu meri taraf dekh.. woh to main dekh hi rahi hoon.. qareeb aa.. kyon! aa naa.. ley.. aa gayee.. aur qareeb aa.. naa waisey hi bol.. arrey aa naa.. acha ab bol.. meri aankhon main dekh.. dekh rahi hoon ab bol bhi dey.. zara sa aur qareeb aa.. main ney dekha uska chherah lal ho gaya aankhain sharam sey jhuk gayeen saansain tez ho gayeen jism kapkapaney laga main ney uska chherah apney haaton main ley liya aur kaan main zor sey bola "MARKET AA GAYA TABBU JEE"..tu naa .. tujhey naa.. main naa.. teri jaan leyloongi .. tu kyaa mulk-ul-maut hai.. main qehqaha lagatey huye bola.. kaash tu kuch aur bol deta akhi.. tu ney aisa kyon kiya.. phir kabhi naa kerna.. uski ghazali ankhon main ansoo terney lagey.. main tarap utha.. sori yaar main to mazaq ker raha thaa.. tu to serious hogayee..m really sori tabbu.. mera haal dekh ker usney ek zabardast qehqaha lagaya aur boli maana aap bohat barey actor hain magar thori bohat acting hum bhi ker letey hain janab.. oye yaar tu ney mujhey hila diya.. woh muskura rahi thi magar main dekh raha thaa muskurahat main chhupi udaasi .. woh kuch aur bol rahi thi aur uski aankhain kuch aur.. main laraz ker reh gaya...mushkil sey khud per qaboo patey huye main ney kaha chal market main chaltey hain..hum ander daakhil huye.. saamney hi merey dost farooq ki dukaan thi woh mujhey dekhtey hi lapka "arrey akhtar meri jaan tu aaj idher kaisey" aur mujhsey lipat gaya.. abbey ahista hosh main reh aajkal gayism ka kafi zor hai log naa jaaney kyaa samajh bethain" usney qehqaha lagaya aur bola tu nahin badleygaa oho tu ney shaadi kerli bataya bhi nahin bhabhi adaab.. main ney tabbu ki taraf dekha woh muskura rahi thi.. adaab bhai.. akhtar main woh saamney counter per hoon aap free ho jayain phir farooq sey boli bhai aap baatain ker lain main aati hoon..abbey bhabi ghazab ki hai kahan sey import kiya.. america sey.. yaar inkey saamney aish kareena priya sab pani bherengey yaar.. koi behen wagerah.. nahin akloti hai.. abbey ahista bol anti aircraft gun hai ek baar chal pari to haddiyon ka surma ban jayegaa.. oho aisa..main ney list nikal ker di.. yeh abbu key saamaan ki list hai jaldi ready ker dey.. tabbu aa gayee main ney tarruff kerwaya aur bola tum yahan betho main zara namaaz sey faarigh ho loon.. wapas aaya to dekha dono khoob qehqaha laga rahey they.. farooq bola main bhabi ko teri shararaton key baarey main bata raha thaa woh jo tu ney ma'm key desk main toads rakh diye they, aur woh bio lab main tu ney cocki daal di thi us larki key dress main, aur librarian key seat per papar rakh diye they..bus bus yeh bata khala kaisi hain  theek hain tujhey bohat yaad kerti hain.. aoonga kisi din.. kisi din kyon aaj hi chal na lunch saath ker ley.. nahin yaar phir kabhi..   hum wapas ravana huye.. kyaa baat hai akhi tu khamosh kyon hai.. meri koi baat buri lagi kyaa.. oye nahin yaar bus waisey hi..  naa koi to baat zarror hai jo mera hansta muskurata qehqahey bakherta huaa mast dost achanak devdas ban gaya jabkey koi paro bhi nahin hai yahan.. main muskura diya ab main kyaa batata keh ek anjana sa khauf mujhey gher raha thaa..usney bohat saarey khwab sajaney shuru ker diye they aur agar usey in khwabon ki tabeer naa mili to naa jaaney woh kyaa ker bethey..   

        


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Dec 05, '08
 HUM RAWAAN DAWAAN HO GAYE EK NAYEE MANZIL KI TARAF KAHAN KIDHER KYAA KHABAR

 contd. a special sunday wid a special friend .....

         ai dost tu ney yeh kyaa sitam kiya
         meri bekhudi ko beqarar  ker  diya
         husun ki ebadat ker raha thaa main 
         zalim tu ney mujhey gunahgaar ker diya          

khala ney dast-e-shaffaqat jo sir per rakha to neend ki devi ney foran apney aagosh main bher liya aur aisey aisey jahaon ki ser karai keh main mast ho gaya. Abhi bohat si urranain baqi thin magar mujhey aisa laga jaisey koi mujhey awaaz dey raha ho, jhanjhor raha ho. Neend ki devi rooth ker jaaney lagi main ney mananey ki bohat koshish ki ....
          abhi naa jao chhorr ker abhi to dil bhara nahin
magar woh naa maani aur chali gayee. Aankh khuli to dekha tambu mujh per jhuki huee thi aur mujhey jhanjhor rahi thi uthaney ke liye. Main ney socha zara lutf liya jaye "oye yeh tu kyaa ker rahi hai, kab sey ker rahi hai, kyon ker rahi hai, kyaa kyaa kiya, meri khala kahan hain ..." meri awaaz suntey hi woh uchhal parri peechey sofey sey takrai aur gir parri chhera laal ho gaya aur zulf chherey ka bosa leney lagin.. bohat haseen lag rahi thi.. beysaakhta main gunguna utha....
            chherey per giri zulfain kehdo to hata doon main 
            gustakhi muaffffffffffffff
guldaan sey ek phool nikala aur....
            yeh phool terey jurey main kehdo to laga doon main 
            gustakhi muafffffffffffffff                             
arreyy tu insaan hai ya hewaan ..insaan hoon yaar zara ghaur sey dekh.. magar herkatain teri to ... agar merey chott lag jaati khoon beh jata to.. to kyaa yeh doctors or hospitals kis liye hain unhain bhi to rizq milna chahiye yaar.. acha! to ley main tera sir phorr deti hoon tu hospital main admit hoja wahan becharey sab faqa ker rahey hain.. oh mujhey koi aitraaz nahin bus nurse zara khubsurat honi chahiye.. mera zauq zara ooncha hai.. tera zauq to main abhi dekhti hoon aur yeh tu kyaa her waqt khala khala kerta rehta hai khala ka chamcha main kyaa sirf tujhey thusaney key liye hoon .. arrey naa yaar tu to meri dost hai.. khaak dost hoon jaa tu khala key paas jaa.. main nahin bolti ....
                 dekho rootha naa kero
                 baat nazron ki suno 
usney palat ker dekha aur ek shokh ada sey boli 
                 hum naa bolengey kabhi 
                 tum sataya naa kero 
oye ! oye ! main uskey peechay bhaga.. sun zara .. woh ruki, palti, aur boli kyaa huaa.. ek hi ada ney ghayal ker diya... khala key paas nahin jana.. main ney ghaur sey dekha uski aankhon main ghazab ki masti thi chherey per shokhi aur hoton per halka halka tabassum ...
                    teri ek ada ney zalim deewana bana diya 
                    dono jahan sey mujhko begana bana diya
boli oho! chal tujhey deewangi mubarak jab tu mera deewana ban hi gaya to aa merey saath.. hum dono uskey room main ponhchey.. usney wardrob sey ek packet nikala aur mujhey deker boli dekh kaisa hai.. paket main ek black shirt aur jeans they.. main ney kaha ab tu merdaney libaas pehney gi.. muskurai aur boli..yeh terey liye hain.. kaisey hain.. ghazab key hain yaar.. ab meri baat sun.. mujhey long drive per jana hai terey saath aaj aur abhi tu yeh dress pehneygaa aur abbu sey permission bhi tu lega 15 minute main hum nikleyngey ab tu ready ho jaa .. oye tu meri dost hai ya dushman mujhey merwaigee kyaa .. woh sab main nahin jaanti bus mujhey jana hai 12 min. rehgaye.. arrey sun to phir kisi din chalengey.. nahin main ney aaj hi jaana hai aur abhi 10 min. rehgaye.. main dress leker baher bhaga .. tayyar huaa .. 
khala khalu hall main bethey they main ney kaha "khalu woh derasal abbu ney kuch cheezain laney ko kaha thaa jo main bhool gaya yahan to aaj market band hain magar zara door per ek nayee market khuli hai main soch raha hoon wahan sey ley loon werna abbu naraaz ho jayengey .. theek hai betey jaisa aap chahain .. khalu tambu ney bhi kuch shopping kerni thi to agar aap kahain to usey bhi saath ley jaoon do ghantey main aa jayengey.. theek hai betaji .. main ney rahat ki saans li aur solhwin minute main hum car main bethey they aur car farratey bherti rawan dawaan ho gayee .. ek nai manzil ki taraf..
 
 
 




          
     
            
           




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Dec 03, '08
 A SPECIAL SUNDAY WID SOMEONE SPECIAL

      beqarari mujhey ai dil kabhi aisi to naa thi
      jaisi ab hai meri haalat kabhi aisi to naa thi           
sunday ka itni shiddat sey intezaar,shayad hi main ney kabhi kiya ho..beherhaal hasb-e-mamool namaz wagerah sey faarigh hoker main maidaan jaaney ke liye tayyaar huaa car start ki aur radio on kiya to yeh gana baj raha thaa...
 aaja main hawaon main utha key ley chaloon tujhko 
 tu to meri dost hai
 aaja main ghataon main utha key ley chaloon tujhko 
 tu to meri dost hai 
main ney socha dost hai ya patang jisko hawaon aur ghataon main urraker ley jaya jaye.. yeh hamarey shayer hazraat kuch bhi likh maartey hain yaar.. ab hamarey salman bhai.. woh to kat ko hawaon aur ghataon to kyaa mount everest per bhi utha key ley jaa saktey hain MASHALLAH double body hai unki bagher shirt key ainey key saamney aa jayain to ainaa choor choor ho jaye magar main to tambu ko 1st floor per bhi utha ker nahin ley jaa sakta kafi heavy hai yaar crack ho jaoonga waisey to aajkal khwateen ko dieting aur slim trim rehney ka bara shauq hai pata nahin isey kyon nahin..yahi sab sochtey main maidan pohanch gaya jogging shuru ki, thori warzish ki, badminton key do-chaar game kheley amooman do ghantey main faarigh ho jata hoon magar sunday ko kuch naye puraney dost bhi aa jaatey hain un key saath gup shup main waqt ka pata hi nahin lagta.. beherhaal 9 baj gaye to main ney socha tambu key gher per dhawa bola jaye naashta bhi ho jayegaa aur tafreeh bhi .. dus minute baad main uskey derwazey per khara thaa.....

bell dabatey hi derwaza khula.. bua khari thi.. main ney kaha "oye bua jee tussi to aaj vaddey haseen lag rahey ho kyaa baat hai jee baba jee aaney waley hain ya koi aur chakker hai" bua jee nai naveli dulhan ki tarah sharma gayi boli "aao beta ander aao " kahan hain sab.. main ney poochha.. dinning hall main ..naashta chal raha hai.. bhaee waah! yeh huee naa baat.. sahi waqt per ponhchaa.. "KHALAAAAAAAAAAAA" main ney awaaz lagai aur hall main dakhil huaa.. "chhhhhhhuuunnn" awaz huee dekha to tambu saheba jo chai undel rahi thin kettle sey kettle unkey haath sey chhoti aur seedhi floor per giri saath main kuch cups glass aur plates bhi.. "oye tu insaanon ki tarah entry nahin ley sakta"..haan ley sakta hoon kehker main hall sey wapas nikla aur dobara dakhil huaa.. "ab theek hai tambu" zunnnnnn sey koi cheez meri taraf ayee main jhuk gaya aur merey peechey showcase ka ek sheesha toot ker floor per bikher gaya.. khala aur khaloo ka zabardast qehqaha buland huaa ..AAo beta what a pleasent surprise.. surprise ?? magar khaloo aapney to hukum kiya thaa keh main aaj naashta aap sab key saath karoon .. tambu ney mujhey phone per bataya thaa.. isiliye main hazir huaa hoon.. oye jhootey makkar main ney kab kaha thaa.. dekhiye khaloo kuch bertan kyaa toot gaye yeh to ... o koi baat nahi beta tabbu bhool gayee hogi ..khala bolin.. aao tum naashta kero nahari hai suna hai tumko nahari bohat pasand hai.. jee khala aapney sahi suna hai magar main nahari lunch main leta hoon ya dinner main subah to main bohat halka naashta kerta hoon .. 10-12 breads, 2 boiled eggs, 2 fried eggs, one apple, butter, cheese, jam, aur ek glass milk.. " yeh agar halka hai to rab jaaney bhaari kyaa hota hoga isiliye to chhezain mehengi hoti jaa rahi hain".. tabbu.. khala ney daant lagai aisa nahin kehtey jao naashta ready kero mera bacha bhooka hai .. khala main zara naha ker fresh ho jaoon jogging ker key aaya hoon to... haan beta kyon nahin tabbu jao nahaney ka samaan ready kero .. tabbu hai ya koi jinn naashta ready kero yeh kero woh kero.. woh zerlab barbarai phir mujhey dekh ker boli "tujhey to main dekh loongi khala ka chamcha". . qareeb sey dekhna buaa jee ki qasam zeest ka maza aa jayegaa.. naa jaaney kiski shakal dekhi thi .. aina dekha hoga na ..woh dauri merey peechey main khala key paas jaa ker beth gaya .. kyaa huaa beta .. kuch nahin khala zabardast bhook lagi hai .. tabbu jaldi kero beta .. amma ker to rahi hoon do hi to haath hain .. khala isey kuch aata bhi hai ya yoonhi utha patak ker rahi hai kitchen main .. buaa jee ko buladoon .. oye bua jee key sagey aa jaa tera naashta ready hai thoons ley kum ho to bol dey.. shuker hai aaj ki tareekh main hi hogaya oye tu to hai naa phir fiker ki kyaa baat zaroorat huee to bol doonga.. oye tambu .. kyaa hai.. arrey salt n pepper to hai hi nahin.. arrey terey dono bulb fused ho gaye kyaa saamney rakhey hain.. oye tambu .. ab kyaa hai .. suger to dey .. milk main daal diya hai chupsey gatak ley.. naashtey sey faarigh huaa to neend aaney lagi .. khala main zara aaraam kerloon .. haan beta kerlo tabbu.... khala rehney dain main yahin let jaoonga aapkey paas .. khala ney sir per haath pherna shuru kiya to mujhey apni ammi yaad aaney lagin .. main unki god main sir rakhker so jaata thaa duniya sey be khabar her fiker sey azaad her gham-o-pareshaani sey dooor....










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Nov 30, '08
 MEREY ABBU DUNIYA MAIN SAB AEY ACHEY ABBU

contd....woh barsaat ki shaam.....4th part....

zindagi bher nahin bhuleygee woh barsaat ki raat
ek anjaan haseena sey mulaqaat ki raaaaaaaaaaat        

us raat key baad kafi dinon tak hamari mulaqaat nahin huee.. main apni parhai aur karobaar main masroof ho gaya aur woh yadon main  ya phir khwabon main ....

Ek subh main dafter rawana honey hi wala thaa keh phone ki ghanti baji " heelloo heelloo" doosri taraf woh hi thi.. socha zara tafreeh ho jaye main ney jhilla ker kaha .. arrey hil to raha hoon aur kitna hiloon.. apni hansee zabt kertey huye boli main ney kab kaha hilney ko tujhey to kamar matkaney ka shauq hai .. main ney kaha woh kamar hi kyaa jo matkey nahin woh phool hi kyaa jo chatkey nahin woh aadmi hi kyaa jo bhatkey nahin aur woh phal hi kyaa jo latkey nahin.. kher tu bol kyaa bolti tu iz nacheez ko kaisey yaad farmaya kyaa teri raaton ki neend urr gayee bhook aur pyaas ghayeb ho gayee chain aur sukoon mit gaya .. arrey sun sun aisa kuch bhi nahin huaa.. woh chillai .. tujhey yaad karegi meri juti.. bata ki hai kyaa.. main ney beech main hi us ki baat kati.. aur bhi tap gayee..boli tu insaan ki zubaan main baat nahin ker sakta.. oye yeh insaan kaun hai koi naya shikaar hai kyaa aur main uski zubaan main kyon baat karoon meri apni zubaan nahin hai kyaa.. main ney phir luqma diya.. ouff hai o rabba tu.. tu .. dekh dekh gaali mat dena mujhey bilkul bhi basrdaasht nahin .. u r impossible .. kyaa matlab.. main na mumkin hoon to tu baat kis sey ker rahi hai.. tu jahennum main jaa main jaa rahi hoon.. phir "dhummm" awaaz ayee aur line munqata.. main ney ek qehqaha lagaya.. bohat der sey rok rakkha thaa.. yaqeen thaa dobara ring karegee....

wahi huaa.. ghanti baji.. hii tambuuuuu main ney taan lagai .. phir phir wohi.. akhi tu mujhey itna jalata kyon hai .. itney main behen ney entry li "hey bro dad iz waitin make it fast 2day u have had it".. oye angrez ki chamchi angrez chaley gaye thanku, sori aur tujhko chhor gaye..chal tu nikal main aa raha hoon u vanish.. oye tambu jaldi bol merey hitler dad wait ker rahey hain got to go yaar..agar woh ghussey main chilla diye to yeh bunglow change kerna parrega.. pata hai pichli baar jab chillaye they indonesia main sunami aur japan main zilzila aa gaya thaa musharraf sb ney urgent meeting call ker li, bushy ney farmaan jaari kyaa maloom kero yeh dhamaka kahan kab kyon aur kaisey huaa, yahan per red alert jaari ker diya gaya, sarkon per kaanch ka ambaar lag gaya, log sab gheron main dubak gaye, parindey saarey "chal urr jaa rey panchi ab yeh des huaa begaanaa" gaatey huye urr gaye.. arrey bus ker bus ker woh zabardast qehqaha lagatey huye boli.. aur hansney ki taab nahin.. isi doraan ek mulazim ney entry li "aali janab bhaijaan zilley subhani ney hukum sadir farmaya hai keh aap ba nafs-e-nafees foran sey peshter unkey huzoor main pesh hon werna.." werna kyaa bey main gerja abey mughlon ki aakhri nishani foran dafa hoja main aa raha hoon chal.. bhaijaan kyaa bhabi sey muzakiraat ker rahey ho woh bola.. abey tu her ek ko bhabi bana leta hai kal abbu ki ek customer ko bhabi bol diya.. saaley tujhey burma bhej doonga wahan bahadur shah aaraam farma rahey hain unkey paas hi lita doonga.. oye tambu tu hansti rahegee ya kuch boleygee .. arrey yaar tujhey abbu ammi yaad ker rahey hain tu kab ayega bol woh maza letey huye boli.. itni si baat key liye tu ney mera itna qeemti waqt barbaad kiya.. tu kitna bakwaas kerti hai tambu.. kitna bolti hai merey kaan dukh gaye.. ab tu phir pathri sey utra main chali.. main sunday ko aoonga kehker main ney phone band kiya aur bhaagta bhaagta neechey ponhcha .. sara gher jama thaa aur abbu tehel rahey they ghussey main.. dhamakey ka intezaar thaa.. main relaxed thaa.. abbu woh meri ek friend key papa shadid bimar hain to woh mujhsey doctor aur hospitals key baarey main daryaft ker rahi thi uska koi bhai to hai nahin.. bohat pareshaan thi bechari to main usko dilasa dey raha thaa to abbu zara der ho gayee aaney main mawafi ka khwastagar hoon abbu ka chhera jo ghussey ki wajah sey surkh ho raha thaa dheeray dheeray normal honey laga .. teer nishaney per betha main ney socha.. kahan rehtey hain woh ..yahin qareeb main hi rehtey hain.. abbu.. theek hai aap jayain unki help karain aur ek ghantey main dafter pohanch jayain agar kisi cheez ki zaroorat ho to mujhey call karain.. yeh kehker abbu dafter rawana ho gaye.. saarey log mujhey aisey dekh rahey they jaisey key merey seengh nikal aaye hon.. behen boli " bhaijaan abbu sey aapney jhoot bola" oye woh jhoot jis sey kisi ko koi nuqsaan naa ho koi takleef naa ho bola jaa sakta hai.. ghalib uncle ney kaha hai yaqeen naa ho to pooch lo kal hi unhon ney naya mobile kharida hai magar haan numbers nahin hain merey paas .....






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Nov 26, '08
 EK HASEEN GHAZAL, MERI PASANDEEDAH GHAZAL

chehrey pey merey zulf ko phelao kisi din 
kyaa roz garajtey ho ba