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Sep 13, '08

Part II

While I was debating over this issue, I recollected another incident about the song “ dil jo na keh saka “ but latha ji, people who are fan of those oldies ll agree with me that’s one of the fantastic songs… which you would like to hear over and over again.. I and mentor (Mohan ji…I call him mentor and don’t know if somebody
else does, coz for me he is one and he ll remain one as well) had an argument over this song on one of the forums long back, coz I said I feel sad when I hear the song…infact he did laugh at me and said its one of the most romantic songs…so I went back to hear that song…lyrics are real romantic..no matter how much I want to argue
for the heck of it, I agree.,…but its also a fact that I do feel the pain even today I hear the song…what does it say again? Its romantic song, which pains me? If romance doesn’t cause pain to somebody then still I feel the pain its as good as me arguing abt A=C?

While talking abt fountains and water falling from them, I and my friend spoke a lot about the perspectives later, I told her I see the ripples and tiny droplets rising, sometimes I do see that smoggy appearance of water but I somehow didn’t realise that
number of droplets rising is equivalent to the depth of the drop, why is that? Isn’t that evident?

I see lots of flowers in the garden, then I think what do people see at the first instance, I see the contrast of colors, might be between flowers and leaves, or petals and sepals, surely it does catch my attention, later I see leaves structure sometimes they are flowery too, I mean it looks like petals rather than leaves if they are shrubs…later I see the color of the leaves, sometimes it’s a wonder to watch all those shades of leaves in one plant, I was recently seeing this plant
which is used for bordering the garden …sorry cant recollect the name…it had so many different kinds of leaves that amazed me…and it also had tiny little purple flowers on which was this black and purple butterfly…isn’t that simply wonderful combo?
Leaves were varying from shades of pink, brown and green together…I couldn’t take my eyes off…I wanted to take a picture but unfortunately we cant take any battery operated items into office..inclusive of cell phone..thats one of the times I missed
having my phone handy…I don’t know if everybody sees the same..but I m sure different people look at different aspects of nature....and that forms our perspectives….our inner nature…a part of our persona undefined and unidentified….

Tags: nature, perspective, personality

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Sep 12, '08

What we see...............

There are few things which determine personality of humans, that’s why some are happy people, some are sad and depressed, some are optimistic, some are pessimistic, some bring cheer some bring pain….one of those factors is nature, we can easily determine what kind of personality we are, when we look at our perspective of looking at nature.

The other day when I was walking in rain I gave a thought abt this…well walking in rain or drizzle has nothing to do with the thought…it just happened to be when I was walking in rain, I was seeing the rain drops which are small and tiny (coz it was a just drizzle) and falling slantingly as if somebody is shooting on my face…well..I loved the way it was falling then I was thinking how come they all slant in particular fashion, its random fall of water from the clouds right? Then how come they are so equally spaced
and seem like little soldiers? What makes them get the direction? Then I thought might be wind …then I was wrong coz there wasn’t even a spec of wind around…not a single leaf was wavering..not a single grass blade was swaying..but what made rain drops fall in such an orderly fashion? That was constantly lingering on mind…oh yea I have this bad habit to keep things on mind till I get the answers or answers which look logically convincing to me
:)

After couple of days I saw this heavy wind blowing up all those leaves which are old and gray, and the ones who couldn’t stand the force of wind…then another thought occurred to me, inspite of blowing wind which ofcourse in particular direction winds fall hapazhardly not orderly, like u see leaves everywhere under the tree or away from it not piled up in one particular angle, why is that? Then I was observing these leaves which are falling apart from the force of wind then I realized that some of the falling leaves keep floating …which in a way says that they want to keep themselves there than reaching the ground….they don’t want to fall apart just like humans isn’t it? Is it why we are all not orderly coz we want to float around rather
than being on ground? Or is it just that those leaves float which are not really old and weak and older leaves fall out? Again isn’t it very relative to humans?

These were kinda endless thoughts… then when I crossing a fountain I watched the water droplets fall, then I seeing the rippling effects of water, told my friend how nice to see the water ripple, she said look higher the fountain deeper is the drop and strong is rippling effect…then I suddenly realized I hadn’t given a thought in that way…I always like watching ripples, not the depth? What does that make me? Shallow? Broader outlook? Or what does it make her? In-depth? Depressed?

To be continued......

Tags: nature, perspective

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Sep 11, '08

What brings stress - a revelation for me

With each passing day we hear more and more people saying they are stressed, irrespective of the age, sometimes back I heard my son saying he is stressed!!!!!, I was so shocked and was thinking what the heck..........why are all people including me stressed? What brings in stress in the first place, if humans are so imbibed into stress how come previous generations didnt use it so often, I have not heard my dad or mom saying stress irrespective of the situations, but thinking abt that, if at all if I get into the situations what existed relative to them then I would feel stressed, then I think if thats the case why werent they stressed out?

Might be most people are stressed with the growing financial needs, blame inflation for that but even back then there were financial needs, but it was taken care off without being stressed. If they were stressed did they discuss about their stress factors with anybody at all, I know they were worried but worry is not equivalent stress isnt that right? Or correct me if I m wrong abt that.

From my perspective one of the major things stresses most people out is not being ourselves, or pretending to be otherwise. I came to this conclusion in last 10 days when I realized was the most stressful period for me. If every body think back we know we are more stressed while we are at work place, while we come back home most people are not. If you are stressed at home thats a serious thing to be considered. Thats what bought the realization to me that stress is an induced factor in all humans when we are forced to be like somebody else or have to be consistently pretend to be like others or not being ourselves. All these depend on situations. Last 10 days I was forced not to be myself, thats when I realized why most of us get stressed when we go to work or when we are outside and how we unwind ourselves when we come back home.

Thats because at work we are forced to behave ourselves as good professionals irrespective of the fact whether we are good or not, whether we are happy being in the profession or not, irrespective of whether we hate or like the environment or bosses. Irrespective of the facts we are all stressed, we say work pressure is stressing us, what do we mean when we say that, we are pushing ourselves to complete tasks that means we might or might not be capable or interested in finishing that, but we have to, thats what stresses us not the work. While we go out, we are expected to practice some etiquettes might be we arent very keen in practicing it but we still do coz its public place, or your spouse wants you to behave in particular way or your parents or somebody else, hence by the end of the day we are stressed.

I came to conclusion after this analysis, irrespective of whatever it comes, I m going to be myself, I know if I do that at work I wouldnt be going higher or I would be left out of competition..... So I decided atleast when I come back home I ll unwind and be myself thats what takes my stress of 8-10 h of work. Nevertheless I m glad that I found the root of the problem for stress of mine

Tags: stress, being myself

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Jul 21, '08

Meri Kismet ....filmi connection

I almost had stopped watching hindi movies, after KANK I literally stopped watched hindi movies, for all those guys who are thinking I should have seen TZP, I still have to see that, but happened to be in my kismet to kismet connection only the day after it released. I was pretty impressed with promos and also one of the songs so I landed in connection, usually I m not the person who would go to the movie on the very next day of its release. I went there thinking that if I get the tickets I ll go which was less likely as it was just the second day, but kismet playing the game again I happened to get the tickets, there I was glad abt my kismet......

I m firm believer of fate, however much people argue abt that, I believe in destiny I also think that while destiny is written nobody can change a single word of written destiny, but this kismet of watching this movie I didn’t quite get that. I had all this hype about the movie, coz I m one of those person who would watch movie based on songs.

Oops when I watched the movie I found I was having tough time connecting between the scenes, and worse connecting the songs which would suddenly pop up from no where, I always though Aziz mirza made good movies, but this one might be again its my kismet which was making me watch this movie, characters in the movie are so haphazardly placed that it takes a while to think where did they come from is there any significant role at all or worse is that do the movie substantiate any characters at all...the movie wasn’t very impressive at all.

First of all I had hard time connecting the scenes, when I m just happy abt kismet and start to connect the scenes there would be a song which is totally out of context and while I m just blissful listening to the song when its not hitting my ears as thought its gonna burst my ears, two songs in the movie I liked them, but rest of them is not needed in the movie at all, and then while I m trying to get the connection of the song to the movie then crops up another character of the movie and it makes me think am I supposed to laugh at those jokes or should I just laugh at my kismet...well sweety.... haha thats a nice dog I liked it in the movie... each scene has such an abrupt ending it makes me feel is there any connection between the scenes at all? Worse part of all is that last scene while it ends so abruptly I could see most people getting confused whether the movie did end or not.. well inspite of being a firm believer of kismet I didn’t trust for once that the kismet would work in that way, though I would agree there would some kinda connection which I would call wavelength between two people I hardly can think those things happen at all....next time guys watch out if somebody brings u good luck....Sorry for all those people who liked the movie I m not a movie critic but I couldn’t get the connection between my kismet and movie kismet here, atleast I would be happy if I could see some wonderful photography or atleast the dresses vidya balan...in totality I regretted my kismet for taking me into the movie but one of the songs in the movie is the only plus point as far as me....but don’t bash me guys whoever liked the movie, thats your kismet while this is mine .....

Tags: kismet, connection

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Jul 15, '08

Reversing Murphy's Law :D - a desperate need

Sometimes I just wish I could reverse murphys law and get things straight. This has happened quiet a number of times especially early in the mornings. After I got this new job for myself and moved, I have been seriously giving it a thought about how to make reversal of murphys law.. as I know murphys law is quiet a frustrating one itself and thinking abt reversing it is much more frustrating.. I suddenly started to feel that early in the morning I m just crazy but its worthy giving a thought…and atleast you could laugh at your self for a while when you are meeting Monday blues

When I moved house, the advantage what I thought was that it was nearer to new work place and I was glad that I don’t have to really get up early to each office at 8 AM sharp, well I m not a morning person it makes me sick in stomach when I see people waking up before 5 I feel that they really don’t know what being content means, sleeping at those wee hours is really bliss, believe me stats shows that people sleep well after snoozing the alarm. Well just one day later I realized that my dream is not gonna come true.. simple reason that there is only one bus which I could take to reach office, sad for me but saga didn’t end there, when I took this bus I was surprised, if I walk this distance between my house and office it takes me hardly 40-45 min, that’s if I could walk early in the morning not cursing every body on earth inclusive of sun… but I wouldn’t want to end up in office in sweat pool, hence I have no choice but to take this bus, but this goes into every street in the area I live isn’t that fun, though funny part is I get to see the whole area but sad part is I have sit in the bus for real time 40-45 min, its almost the same as walking but just that I don’t have to sweat like a pig… finally I started to get up early cursing myself and the sun for rising ..thats when I happened to think abt reversing murphys law.

Before I reach bus stop there is a signal light circle which I have to cross to get there, and as murphys law could state when I walk there, 99% of time that’s red light so I cant cross but the bus I m supposed to take goes in perpendicular direction…yes by this time you would got it, exactly what I m trying to say…I stand there and look directly at my bus going away and cant do much …I guess in my place everybody would think of what I m thinking, if they aren’t thinking I m not sure what to say yet… worse is yet to come, the bus I m talking about has the weirdest habit of coming in double.. I think they cant work as one bus at a time..I quiet don’t understand why they cant come one bus at a time and why they have to come in twos, that’s back to back.. and I ll standing in the signal light gaping at the buses going back to back and cursing myself I wish could get up 10 min earlier, everytime I get up 10 min earlier and come back to signal light the history repeats so that has nothing to do with me but it has everything to do with Murphy… now I have come to a stage to leave home 30 min before what I used to on day one to my job still the sage continues…hence I m seriously considering reversing murphys law…all suggestions to reverse the law is more welcome.

Tags: murphys law

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Jul 14, '08

Agonizing over a decision

Regretting a decision

I was reading Natboyvirens blog about agonizing over decisions, which I thought from a different perspective which I couldn’t leave as comment on this blog...here u go..
On a serious front if you really happen to give a thought on this aspect, how many ppl make decisions in reality? When I say in reality that means just for themselves, its like yes I m making this decision for myself and my happiness and its sole responsibility stands on me kind. Well..you ll see this as words but looking into the minds of humans there are several factors which affect the decision making of any Indian household...I m specifying Indian household here coz I think I know them better than any other people, though I have come across other peoples decision making as well..

Indian household is usually built on emotions, leading to relationships, and bondage . Most of ppl leave decision making to one person of the family because we all think that person takes decision on the best interest of the family or situation relative to that. Going back why we regret out decisions, coz we usually tend to push the responsibility of decision making to somebody else as easily as we can pass a pinch of salt, why cant we make decisions of our own?...thats because it takes lots of thinkings of past, present and future which we aren’t not ready to face, in a way we aren’t very ready to face the reality, if you consider the whole lot of Indian population there are very less people who would say that they made this decision coz they felt it was right for them and it made them happy. Its such a rare scenario coz thats the way we have been grown up in a system, which we are taught of values and respect, I m not saying its wrong but its not completely right either.

Whenever we are at the cross roads of making decision why are we always pushed to see what happens to others? Assume if we are in situation of decision making and that decision of whatever we are taking ll surely make us happy, but it might not make 50% of ppl involved happy, so we keep buying time to make things work and make every body happy and look for happy ending...yes saying that I m a firm believer in thought of if there is no happy ending thats not an end of the story.. by saying that might be I m not facing the reality at all...how many of us can say next time we make a decision we ll make a decision which makes me happy abt that irrespective of whatever the situation or other players involved...its not that dus ka dum reality show, I am not sure whether this question is there in the show or not....but its true that there wouldn’t be lot many ppl who would say and do the same...hence we regret the decisions we make... apart from that we start to crib on things and whine and whine for ever saying we should have made better decisions for ourselves when we realize that situation nor the people involved doesn’t exist anymore... or they have made their own...and moved on and are happy.

Until we make decisions which makes us happy we ll keep regretting... hence whoever regrets should make stronger decisions to keep themselves happy first to make others happy.

Tags: emotions, bondage, relationships, decisions

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Jul 14, '08

Short day? - Long day????

Short day? – long day???

This weekend I got up on Saturday and hoping for a relaxed wknd, and I was just lazing around sipping my coffee till noon (ok confession I get up only nearing noon ) then came a call from a friend, so I went out to catch up and while coming back I just happen to notice the time and my watch was showing nearing 7 PM, I had about an hour of travel to reach home yet, I thought there goes my Saturday relaxation..then suddenly this thought came, was this day shorter than other days or is it just that I couldn’t keep watch on the time spent , we all know that every day has a time span of 24 hours, still at one point of time we feel that this 24 h is not sufficient. Somedays it happens to me when I m at work and I have got into an interesting project (mind you..interesting means interesting to me.. ) there is a difference there isn’t it? Interesting to company would be the one which would give the long time collaboration and high revenue but for me working in the project its how much of creativity I can use, how flexible is the project. So when I get myself into these kind of projects I feel that I should have more time, so that I can or might deliver more interesting stuff out of the project... there are sometimes while we just want to spend sometimes with our family or just special someone and time keeps flying as if its just a matter of seconds, thats when we need more time or feel the need for more time...but that particular days seems to shorter... why do we think that particular day was short? Is that because we enjoyed whatever we are doing? Or we just didn’t watch the time? Or is it because we are just tired by the end of the day ...which I think isn’t true coz I wasn’t tired by the end of the day ? or is it that we feel that content feelings after the day is over? I m yet to answer some of these to identify why days seems shorter some days....

Some days are extremely long..talk abt Monday blues..Mondays always seems to super long for me, I always thought Sunday is the craziest day of all the weeks, running errands, grocery shopping, getting ready for the week, making notes for weeks agenda what not....still I ll have Monday blues..and Monday seems to be longest day of the week irrespective of crazy Sunday... whatever happens on Monday seems to go on and on inclusive of queues in super market...why is that? Is it because I m tired of having crazier Sunday or is it just the week start makes me feel that? But I enjoy my work when I am at work so that shouldn’t make it feel so long! Rest of the days of the week doesn’t matter until its Friday which again seems much shorter than other days though we work for 8 h anyways...

I ve been thinking abt mysterious human mind, which makes us feel against practicality, however much we claim we are the most practical people on earth I think at some point we all feel this short and long days, that makes us impractical coz we all know its just 24 h day .

Tags: days, mind, short, long

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Jul 11, '08

Leaders watch....

Leaders watch...

Indian embassy in Afghanistan was bombed, we are yet to identify terrorism there, but its pretty evident abt the same fact....but recently I saw this statement from a renowned political analyst abt this, which made me say leaders should analyze properly before they say few things because not only billions of people in nation watch and mark their words but also there are other non resident people who hear them as well.

When we aren’t very sure about why Indian embassy was blown up in Afghanistan some of the resident s and analysts have made clear that they don’t want Indians to be around there inspite of all the help country made to establish them on their own. Well..this particular analyst did analyze properly when he said that Indians should watch their back..but he failed in his analysis when he said that we are easily blaming our neighbouring countries and terrorism, though I understand that blaming is not a game in the political scenario, but here we should consider that we are not blaming we are suggesting the possible involvements, if we don’t suggest the possible involvement how can somebody come go and investigate the matter afterall?

We have seen the crime rates in india going up, when the investigation starts there is always the first question what are the possibilities, thats how the investigation starts and I think everything starts with suggestion and there ends up with proof of principle. But this analyst says india is loosely throwing away the words, thats where they have to watch those words...with all the issues we have from Kashmir – Afghanistan we are trying hard to cope up...we have been known for our patience to dwell with the problem but at some point of time we have to address these problems and there is no other way to start it up without suggesting the possible threats...

Well...there are all renowned people I wish they made reasonable statements with reference to the problem than considering the words.

Tags: leaders, india, political system

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Jul 11, '08

What kind of writer??

What kind of writer??

One of my friends who read my blogs regularly asked me Why did u stop suddenly? Nopes I don’t take you word if you say you don’t have time, I know if you want you make up time, I enjoyed reading your posts all the time hence I want to know what stops you from writing....
Those words made me really think hard, what is that which made me stop writing? Well.. I sometimes still cant believe that I stopped writing continuously because my work pressure piled up...but isn’t it the whole reason you write all those ramblings to get out of work pressure? Then how come I couldn’t do it? Did I just loose interest? I don’t think I could loose interest in writing for years together I could go on writing...was I demotivated? If so from or by what? Too many things did haunt me for a while coz I m person who needs answer to all questions if I cant find answers then I ll be very restless.. finally I got my answers ƒº

I realised that I was an impulsive writer I can only write on impulse not to get out of stress or work pressure or anything its just for the simple pleasure of writing. Most of the time its like very impulsive when I write I feel for what I m writing hence if I don’t fee anything significant guess I cant write, or I might be feeling that its not significant enough after all to share with people who tend to read my blogs...

Coming back to the point there are two types of writers, compulsive writers and impulsive writers, compulsive writers are those who are compelled by the situation or by the huge fan following them to write.. doesn’t mean they don’t enjoy writing ofcourse everybody starts off because they enjoy writing and sharing what they feel ...but later its because mostly there ll be huge fan following them and they really don’t like disappointing them hence they become regulars

Impulsive writers like me, can take a break coz we need to get that impulse to write and share, thats one of the reason I think I stopped writing...might be tomorrow if I don’t get up in a good mood then I cant be impulsive...errr........

Tags: writing, compulsive, impulsive

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May 03, '07

When she smiled…..

I wanted to write this since many days…I thought it rained when she smiled..but she smiles when it shines too. Lets start from our first meeting..

It happened couple of weeks before, it was messy rainy day when I walked unwillingly to bus stop to go to work…when all my mind was to draw up my blanket and sleep off , I walked into the bus stop and asusual I sat on that bench up there, hearing to song my dil goes hmm from salaam namaste trying to bring back the sunny mood atleast within myself before I reached the work place….usually I m very self conscious person…I don’t look ahead and behind other than just to see whether the bus is on its way or not….I usually know the time the bus comes…as usual at the same time I just saw ahead to check that….thats when she turned back and saw me…not just saw me…she smiled !! At that moment my heart beat stopped or if it was beating I didn’t realize it, I didn’t even realize the splash of rain drops…she has such an impressive and captivating smile, when she smiled her whole face bloomed and her eyes danced with pleasure, I felt that I should just hold on to that moment, that was the moment I believed that there is something called love at first sight…just then bus arrived, we both got into the same bus, she sat exactly opp to me..eyeing me and toying with her smile…so innocently..I felt, I need to put my arms around her and hug her, feel her, here her laugh…look at her big wide eyes and ask myself is this called love??? I wanted to play with her black strainght hairs…gosh I just wanted to be with her forever and ever..but her stop came earlier than mine, she splashed one smile before she got down…the whole day I happened to be singing my dil goes hmm….:) and never felt like lazy rainy day at all…

After that though I was thinking of her on and off, I let myself get into the regular schedule of mine…next time I saw her it was shiny and bright, just like her smile….I was already in the stop…while she walked like breeze from the walkway…she was wearing this green frock, pink shoes, pink backpack with red straps , she recognized me and smiled, but this time it was more cautious smile…but still my heart stopped and I started yearning to hold her in my arms and capture that smile….but this time she sat in seat beside mine…instead of sitting opp to me …still I could feel her gaze on me…but when I turned back and saw…she didn’t want to look at me…I knew she made faces against me when her mom looked at her… then when I look at her she was innocent again.....now every day I look forward to see her…..havent seen her in a while…missing her …

Tags: smile, love

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