IN THE NEAR FUTURE

Operator : "Thank you for calling Pizza Company."

Customer: "Hi, I'd like to order.."

Operator : "May I have your NIDN first, sir?"

Customer: "My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's 3891100189185."

Operator : "Thank you, Mr. Grover. I see you live at 947 Mubaan Pricha, and the phone number is 02-8862840. Your office number at Pratunam complex is 02-6562677 and your mobile phone number is 01-6467826. Which number are you calling from, sir?"

Customer: "Huh?, I am at home. Where did you get all this information?"

Operator : "We are wired into the system, sir."

Customer: (Sighs) "Oh, well, I would like to order a couple of your All-Meat Special Pizza..."

Operator : "I don't think that's a good idea, sir."

Customer: "What do you mean?"

Operator : "Sir, your medical records indicate that you have got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your 30 Baht, National Health Care provider would not allow such an unhealthy choice."

Customer: "Damn, what do you recommend, then?"

Operator : "You might try our low-fat Soyabean Yogurt Pizza. I'm sure you will like it."

Customer: "What makes you think I would like something like that?"

Operator : "Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soyabean Recipes' from the British Council library last week, sir. That's why I made that suggestion."

Customer: "All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then. What's the damage?"

Operator : "That should be plenty for you, your wife, your four kids, your mistress and a kid on the way, sir. The 'damage' as you put it, heh-heh, comes to about 1560."

Customer: "Let me give you my credit card number."

Operator : "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash. Your credit card balance is over limit."

Customer: "I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your delivery arrives."

Operator : "That won't work either, sir. Your checking account's overdrawn."

Customer: "Never mind. Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready. How long will it take?"

Operator : "We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 minutes, sir. If you are in a hurry you might want to pick them up while you are out getting the cash, but carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward."

Customer: "How did you know I'm riding a bike?"

Operator : "It says here you are in arrears on your car payments, so your car got repo'ed. But your Honda Steed 600 is fully paid up, so I just assumed that you would be using it."

Customer: "@#$%^&*@#$%^&^%$#@" (Censored)

Operator : "I'd advise you to watch your language, sir. You have already got a July 2004 conviction for accusing a traffic police officer, when he stopped you for a routine check."

Customer: "(Speechless)"

Operator : "Will there be anything else, sir?"

Customer: "No, nothing. Oh, yeah, don't forget the two free litres of Coke your ad says I get with the order of two family-sized pizzas."

Operator : "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us from offering free soda to diabetics."



HA HA HA...

Well well, Do you still Want to order Pizza??...