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Oct 01, '08

dialogue of a lover while running with his luv

you walked stiff as a puppet

as you left your father's land

now, here on the expanse of the meadow

made lovely by the clouds pouring down their cool rain

in the first storm of the season

see the scarlet beetles

pick up them

play with them bit

i will go to the sandly place behind the great trunked tree

whose dark young elephants have rubbed smooth

if men come fight me

i will not afraise, i will turn them back

but if your people come

i will, hide dark one.

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Sep 04, '08

what is love ???????

" dear moon..i do not know..you are reading my mails..or not..else you would not interested to reply them..thats ok..

still i have to tell you something..

when i was in enourmous pressure to proove my social status..to save my own family value..you have never turned up..though my parent accepted our love..you were not ready to marry me..you were running behind..studies..job..career..never thought about my basic needs..my food..peace..sleep..atleast after this long decade..
really you were not..in a position..to tell me the truth..behind your silence and avoidance..so..there was no other go..your word s..started from my mouth..i decided..left you and married someother..my total expectations about my life gone their..the girl i get married..fed up with her life..when she came to knew about me..their family took her back..
now i have no parents..no relatives..no love..what should i do now..no reason for living..i lost my face.."
--
prakash sugumaran

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Sep 04, '08

love at first sight ??

cant be
i could say
you were with me
all the time..but
you never seen me before

yet
i dared to step in to your home
when you were alone
a distant bark of a dog
was the only witness

you gave me cold water..as i wished
but my hands touched
your hands..it chilled like ice
but mine..was like valcano

air requested me to give a way
i said you belong to me
you replied
you were always alone
yes the loneliness is the result

our common belongings
common desires
made you alone
life would end
without each other

there is no more questions
silence is the secret
is it love in first sight
tell me my life ?

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Aug 26, '08

are we..grown kids..

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dear friends..

i received several megs..comments on my posts " what is love ", " love for ever ". some scoldings, advices, prayers, arguements..you too's..few of our fropper friends..called me and..inquired..how i am. those are all pleasant moments for me..why..should they worry..about me..who is ..new..unknown..to them..

friends..what is love..is there love for ever..??

love is..unique for every life..some feeling..like mother's feed. let me ask you..why kids crying??..while others..may be a friend..relative..brother..sister..mother..father..grandma..leaving them..that kid trying to say..i want you..i love you..i am possessive about you..i feel alone with out you..i need you..you are mine..my chemistry..became imbalanced..without you..my circle..reduced with out you..so do not leave me. in kids language..crying soundly.. avoiding food..hitting, biting near to them..breaking toys..tearing cloths..fell illness..

for a kids situation..he did not know..the leaving person is not leaving..permanently.. parent..others have important work..to be done..so they are leaving..the kid..just for a moment..hours..days..months..some times for years..or some relative..neighbour..would leave..a kid..once for ever.

then what is going to happen..soon..the kid will return back..to..usual works..what could a kid do..? more than that..can he stop others..after grown for a level..that kid might be under stand..father is going to office..its his duty..he will come back..soon..neighbour has to go..they have his own duties..

after..some years..when that kid get in to love..in his teen age..i do not want to enter..in to that..since every one would have this experience..but..when they depart..the pain..may be some of you..would have that experience too..but here i wanted to tell you..something else..not only about lovers failure..

the break in love..could happen..bcoz of ..misunderstanding..family values..sexual..financial..social..work base..level of thinking.. personal..educational.................... any reasons.. here..we have explanations.. and compromises..for some reasons.. can you imagine..your blood..ethnic reasons..kill your love..

yes.. there are several more unknown reasons..are there.. how people..loosing their..beautiful..life..in love failure..one can live without his father..mother..brother..friends..grand ma..wife.. but can we live with out love ??.. when a person fall in love..he become different man..we can not avoid..it just as an infatuation..what is infatuation..its different from love..not in words..by inner feelings..thoughts..with reality..i too infatuated with..several girls..relatives..friends..neighbours..as a kid..but as a grown..person..

i can not compare..my love to infatuation..why..thats more than that..similar to mothers love.. how ?? what is mothers love..why should we know about that..

are we get married..only for sex..food, clothing, shelter, commitments..social status..financial balance.. unfortunately..in majority of cases..it seems.. yes

will see..

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Aug 21, '08

what is love ???????

" dear moon..i do not know..you are reading my mails..or not..else you would not interested to reply them..thats ok..

still i have to tell you something..

when i was in enourmous pressure to proove my social status..to save my own family value..you have never turned up..you thought only about..your needs and family values..though my parent accepted our love..you were not ready to marry me..you were running behind..studies..job..career..you were not even ready to think about my basic needs..food..peace..sleep..

really there were unspoken words..with you..behind your avoida nce and silence..so your words started from my mouth..left you and married someother..my total expectations about my life gone their..the girl i get married.. fed up with her life..when she came to knew about me..their family.. took her back..
now i have no parents..no relatives..and no love..what should i do now..there is no reason for living..i lost my face.."

--
prakash sugumaran

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Aug 21, '08

love forever ???

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..the next day..my mom called me to her room..she beat me..until her hands needed rest..for kissing maha.

i didnt know why i kissed her..i had no other way to tell her..she is close to me..and she is important to me..i am possessive about her.. now i am trying to retrieve maha's face.. how she would be..how she is..after that incident..my mom admitted me in another school..which is around 15 kms far from that school..

i am not able to see her again..or i never tried to see her again.. still i believe maha will remember me.. if we met..unfortunately..what would we do..smile together..??

friends..some 15 years later..its really..seriously some thing happend to me..which i wanted to share with you all..here people around me say that..i am a genious..i could do anything..

but i can do nothing..even i was not able to save my love..my life. even i dont have friends to share my pain..thats why i am presenting my pain here..before you all..

the single question in my mind now is what next ???????????

i am smelling the bleeding.. of my heart..i hear some sweet voice..which scaring me a lot..

i met her in my hard hours..in my 23. at that time i was working as a personal officer in a leather company.. my salary was very poor. after my yelder brother abscand from our house..on heavy credits..as he lost in his business..i was sent by my father to settle down those issues.. he ran a garments shop in our town..ran from home with 19 lakhs credit..though my parents were government staffs..it was a huge amout for my parents to settle that huge amount immediately..so my father sent me to run the business..after some hard 3 years..we settled all the credits and closed the shop. then i joined with that leather factory..then shifted a leading wireless communication company as a marketting person.

she was my neighbour lived in my street. she has moon in face.. quet.. sweet.. her father is a doctor. once when her brother caught by local people for some misbehaviour..i knew him..as a doctor's son..i stopped the people..convinced them for his mistake..took him to his home..where i met her..there was nothing at that time..after some days..her mother called me for lunch..for saved her son.

some months back..his brother became a gud friend for me. i used to go to their house regularly..to chat with him. slowly this lovely girl came close to me..we chat for hours..without any purpose..we gone for movies..almost i spent all my free hours..with her..

there were several issues happend like..when she was eveteased by her seniors..me and my friends gone to save her..i thought..i am the hero..to save her..when her father tried to marry another girl..a nurse..we stopped it..(already that doctor has two wifes..my moon is daughter of first wife). she and her brother told me several problems of their family..coz of their father's misbehaviour..how their mother suffering..how their life gone bad..how their relatives..cheat and hated them..

everything was new to me..i never heard or knew like those things in my family..so i was the only diversion or something like..peace to her heart.. when she spoke something about her probs..my eyes cried..i kept her hands..tightly in my hands..she slept deeply..without fear..without tear..in my arms..

this was new to me..i had no sisters..when she said..she was happy..when i was with her..i felt..like achieved a great life..i believed..i could only solve her probs..i could only give peace and happy to her..so as i believed..she is my only life..i started loving her..

love...what is love..what someone would do for love..how can you discribe love..how would you say you are in love..how you can say somebody loved you..

will continue...

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Aug 08, '08

my puppy love

dear friends, this is a sweet memory. no one around me knew about this. so please you too keep it as secret.

i studied in a familiar school from first to fifth standard in my home town. my mother was the headmistress of that school. eventually i was a hero for my school mates. they might afraid of me, suppose my mother would punish them for me. so i was the powerful person for them.

when i was studiying 3rd.. i was told that a new girl joining in our class. i decided and told other students not to give her seat in the front row. but when she entered in our class room, every thing gone reverse.. still i remember that.. she was like an angel.. that blinking large eyes full of fear.. pinky lips.. chubby cheeks.. cute round face.. sky blue frock.. i saw her for a long time.. miss said ' maha.. come in sit, down' . she is mahalaxmi.

slowly my habbits changed. i avoided friends and games. my neat dressing and calm behaviour gave surprises to my mom and others. i changed my seat, next to maha. within a week, we became close friends. we sat together for lunch and talked for a long time. i could not able to recall the conversations. i felt very happy when maha was with me. i hate the school bell.. coz it rang late in the morning and earlier in the evening. i didnt want to go home. just the school hours would more than enough for me. nothing else i needed except speaking with maha.

one day.. it was a sports hour, me and maha gone to garden.. sat on a wall. maha was busy in writing some home work and i was just watching. suddenly a chemical reacted inside me.. i took her hand in mine. maha looked at me smiled and said "leave..many sums to be worked out". i was not in a mood to speak. i just saw her face for sometime and kissed in her cheeks. maha laughed and said "come lets go to play". but i kissed her again and ran away from there without seeing back on fear. after some time i entered in the class room...

will continue...

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Aug 01, '08

prayer

its a fine, early morning. birds left the nest and search for feed with musical sounds. the red sun slightly removed its blue cloudy bedsheet to spread his warmth.

he is alone in that apartment. sitting on a pure cloth. wearing clean dress. his eyes are closed. nose is shorp. lips chanting mantras sincerely. thats a 3rd floor of that building. sourrounded by lots of trees. kids playing with friends. moms shout at them and busy in sending kids to schools. dads hurried to office.
"god award peace to me, my family, my people. you are the only one to save us. you are the power. you are the ruler of this world. eliminate evils from this world. i beg you to save this people from evils. give me power to destroy the enemies" chanting goes on.. he started this prayer in the early dark morning and it continuing for hours.

now its time for breakfast. his eyes opened and expecting for someone. he feels fresh and excited. he must have to achieve this assignment given by his boss. its really exciting him to think, how he will be appraised by his boss, if the assignment done successfully. he is expecting a new assignment in other country recommended by the country head and approved by the board of directors and ceo, chairman. he may be awarded as one of the pillar of that concern. when thinking about this, he again starts his prayer, the force of his chanting increased high level. before joining here he was working with a mnc concern as a civil engineer. he has done several successful plans and being the best choice of the leading builders in the country. his family living too far from him. so the life was so happy. he earned a lot. spend the money as he wishes and send some amount to his family. they were happy with that. money brought him liquors, girls, drugs and everything.

now its all changed. though he earned a lot and enjoyed life in its maximum height, he felt, he was not happy. he tried to quit from this feeling, but it was not possible for him. so he started praying deeply for a long and several times a day. sometimes he felt as happy, when he deeply chanting mantras..and when praying unconciously. he was worried what happened to him. but still he finds calmness only in prayers.

now the calling bell ringing. his friend entered in to that two bed apartment with some food. they eat it together. they are not interested in speaking with each other. coz this friendship is going to end on this same day. they dont know whether they will meet again. they knew few about each others personal and family detail. but they are not interested in that. both of them in the same thought about the same assignment. there is sound in next door, a lady shout from the 3rd floor to his husband starting his bike in ground floor. "dont forget to buy some vegetables while returning office, and get shoes for our son". this 8 dezibel sound irritate him. he thought that how this people living like this. they are not praying properly, not living a planned and neat life. wasting their life in dedicating, scolding, ordering, dominating others. after the breakfast both of them waiting for the next call regarding the assignment.

now the time is 12 noon. they started from the apartment with an auto and reached the railway station. a new young person aged around 19 joined with them . he knew this young guy for the past 10 days. he is a smart and humourous guy. one day they were happened to travel by local train together. this young guy asked him what will he do if he is become a president of the country next day. he is confused and said "i dont know". young guy said "i will resign it immediately, coz i cant be a rubber stamp", now he ask in return "what will you do if you become a prime minister 2morow", he replied immediately "i would bring an agenda to delete the magical number 272 from numerics book".
now they altogether started from the station and reached a hotel, and have a cup of coffee. now the first one left them and one another has to join with them. time is running and it seems 4th one would not come. its already half an hour late. no more reason for waiting. if the time gone their assignment would gone in vain. now he took a cab and reached the market with the young guy. now the time is running fast, as they decided the fouth person is not their also. so they decided to split here. the next move should considered by their boss.

he left the young one and started from their by an auto and returned to his apartment. he felt very uneasy. he doubts that his assignment is a failure and he would not able get another chance. this thought irritated him. his boss would punish him for this. he felt guilty, get angry with the 4th guy. he wants to come out of these thoughts.

he washed his face and hands with pure water. wore new cloth. sprayed pleasant scent on him. spread a cloth on ground. starts his prayer. now it seems he easily gone to deep prayer. "god give peace to me......"

in the next door of the apartment the same women shouted in the morning screamed loudly "oh god save my son, he just gone to market ". people gathered. the tv flash news said ' there was three bombs blasts in the city. one at railway station, 2nd in famous hotel and the third one is in market place. 17 killed in the bomb blasts and 40 injured seriously. police caught one person near hotel and rescued a bomb weighted 15 kgs from him. one young guy found dead near market place bomb blast. police suspect him as terrorist. red alert announced in the city.

'.......god give me power to destroy the evils and save this people........'

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Jul 12, '08

burning fa(c)ts

Sooo... called "health foods" are actually cleverly disguised "junk foods" that can actually stimulate you to gain more belly fat.. yet the diet food marketing industry continues to lie to you

Be careful and Dooont Waste your money on Soo called expensive "extreme fat burner" pills. those will really give side effects to yourself

Ab exercise such as crunches, sit-ups and ab machines are actually the least effective method of getting flat abs

Boring repetitive cardio exercise routines are not the best way lose body fat and uncover those six pack abs

Ab belts, ab-rockers, ab-loungers and other infomercial ab-gimmicks.. they are all a complete waste of time and money

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