It is a mystery
why we fall in love. It is a mystery how it

happens. It is a mystery when it comes. It is a mystery why

some love grows and it is a mystery why some love fails.



You can analyze this mystery and look for reasons and

causes, but you will never do anymore that take the life out

of the experience. Just as life itself is more than the sum of

the bones and muscles and electrical impulses in the body,

love is more than the sum of the interests and attractions

and commonalities that two people share. And just as life

itself is a gift that comes and goes in its own time, so too, the

coming of love must be taken as an unfathomable gift that

cannot be questioned in its ways.



Sometimes, hopefully at least once in your life - the gift of

love will come to you in full flower. Take hold of it and

celebrate it in all inexpressible beauty. This is the dream we

all share. More often, it will come and take hold of you,

celebrate you for a brief moment, then move on.



When this happen to young people, they too often try to

grasp the love and hold it to them, refusing to see that it is a

gift that just as freely, moves away. When they fall out of

love, or the person they love feels the spirit of love leaving,

they try desperately to reclaim the love that is lost rather

than accepting the gift for what it was, then moving on.



They want answers where there are no answers. They

want to know what is wrong in them that makes the other

person no longer love them, or try to get their love to change,

thinking that if some small things were different, love would

bloom again. They blame their circumstances and say that if

they go far away and start a new life, their love will grow.



They try anything to give meaning to what has happened. But

there is no meaning beyond the love itself, and until they

accept its own mysterious ways, they live in a sea of misery.



You need to know this about love, and accept it. You need to

treat what it brings you with kindness. If you find yourself in

love with someone who does not love you, be gentle with

yourself. There is nothing wrong with you. Love just didn't

choose to rest in the other person's heart.



If you find yourself someone in love with you but you don't

love him back, feel honored that love came and called at your

door, but gently refuse the gift you cannot return. Do not

take advantage; do not cause pain. How you deal with love

is how you deal with yourself. All our hearts feel the same

pains and joys, even if our lives and ways are different.



If you fall in love with another, and he falls in love with you,

and then love chooses to leave, do not try to reclaim it nor to

assess blame. Let it go. There is a reason and there is a

meaning. You will know in time.



Remember that you don't choose love. Love chooses you. All

you can really do is accept it for all its mystery when it

comes into your life. Feel the way it fills you to overflowing,

then reach out and give it away. Give it back to the person

who brought it alive in you. Give it to others who deem it

poor in spirit. Give it to the world around you in any way you can.



There is where many lovers go wrong. Having been so long

without love, they understand love only as a need. They see

their hearts as empty places that will be filled by love, and

they begin to look at love as something that flows to them

rather than from them.



The first blush of new love is filled to overflowing, but as

their love cools, they revert to seeing their love as a need.

They cease to be someone who generates love and instead

become someone who seeks love. They forget that the

secret of love is that it is a gift, and that it can be made to

grow only by giving it away.



Remember this and keep it to your heart. Love has its time, its

own season, its own reason for coming and going. You

cannot bribe it or coerce it, or reason it into staying. You can

only embrace it when it arrives and give it away when it

comes to you. But if it chooses to leave from your heart or

from the heart of your lover, there is nothing you can do and

there is nothing you should do. Love always has been and

always will be a mystery. BE GLAD THAT IT CAME TO LIVE

FOR A MOMENT IN YOUR LIFE