Fropper.com Relationships

Home > Forums > Topics > RepliesLaunch messenger

 Fropper Forums

Forum Search

  
Find Exact Phrase    Find All Words
 

Forum :   Men are from Mars 
Topic  :    why men seek dowry in marriage? 





 
Post a Reply 
 Page 1 of 2     « First < 1 2  
Author Replies Total Replies: 22 
Topic: why men seek dowry in marriage?  


VAMBANAAR
Tiruppur , India
Male 61

View all Posts: 1328
 
07 Nov 2009 10:17 am  #16

Helo pretty6102,



Welcome and thank you for participating in forum postings sharing your thoughts and opnion with the friends who are interested in forum posting in order to share with other friends like you in an enthusiastic manner.

DOWRY   is named at present era for the amounts, things, ornaments, all comforting things like Air Conditioner, Car & etc.that are given by the bride side to bridegroom side with willful heart for well carrying on the family formed newly on account of the marriage conducted.

DOWRY  is a traditional practice.

Please refer my post #12.


But,  in course of time,   it began to demand  giving a list of particular things.

Even though the bride side are not in a position to fulfill all requirement / demand,  they have to make it even getting loans.

Now the DOWRY  is prohibited recently  in India from 1961, under the  Dowry Prohibition Act.

This Act prohibits DOWRY either giving or taking from Bride Side as well as Bridegroom Side.


Good Wishes.


 
Post a Reply  


hiitsme41
London , United Kingdom
Male 45

View all Posts: 1240
 
08 Nov 2009 07:01 am  #17

 


The said act 1961?


does it prohibit muslims from taking or giving Dowry,


Im asking as its in muslim law as well as the law of jews and christians,


With in the law of faith it is forbiden to take money or goods  from the woman or her family,


But the man or his family must give to the girl, What ever they give can not be used or taken away from the girl unless she want to do so her self,


 


Iqbal


 
Post a Reply  


river4all
Kanpur , India
Male 43

View all Posts: 197
 
09 Nov 2009 01:22 am  #18
hi frnds,

DOWRY ... has been there for ages and never before was so much cursed.

coz, previously it was given happily without pressure of any kind. The mediators in the arranged marriages had more say, the values & respect for the relatives was more which kept in check this dowry from getting painful. Also there were not so many material things to be possessed.

Now ... there is so much scope of material things to be possessed which are loved alike by the boy, girl, in-laws. the psuedo peer pressure is always there. from the girl's family side, providing continued comfort of the girl is always concern. This factor is also used to convey NO to the overly persuasive girl's family.

Another ill effect of this dowry observed now-a-days is the fact that gals falsely report cases of dowry extraction just to have undisputed authority in the new home. I do not imply that genuine cases of harrassments are not there but there are several false cases.

We must inculcate values in our lives and pass down to our offsprings - to develop and start a life on their own and not be dependent on the parent's or parent's in laws earnings. The share on hereditary property should not be thought of while the elders are still alive. and nothing should be taken from them but the children should give them and support them - later on anyway everything is theirs. Parents should have the free choice to stay with which ever child they wish to with no conditions.

More importantly we must learn to treat guys and gals as equals.
I mean equal in true sense.
examples of not treating them as equal - giving seat to a gal, having separate queues / seating arrangements for ladies, preaching gals are weak, guys use gals, maintain distance,etc.

may be i overstepped / mixed up the issues but they are very much interlinked and cannot be dealt with individually.

river4all

 
Post a Reply  


rickyrulz
Bhubaneswar , India
Male 22

View all Posts: 1
 
09 Nov 2009 10:22 am  #19
but all this dowry ..caste.. crap would vanish when this upcoming generation of teens and young ones go adult 
 
Post a Reply  


VAMBANAAR
Tiruppur , India
Male 61

View all Posts: 1328
 
10 Nov 2009 10:34 am  #20



Yes,  the said Act was  brought into force in 1961

and it was called " Dowry Prohibition act , 1961."


Not only this act, all Indian ACTs  mentioned for HINDUs.   Muslims and Christians are not covered by these ACTs.    They have separate provisions in the ACTs.

Here DOWRY in any shape, giving and taking,  to and from both sides is prohibited.

That means,  Bridegroom should not get it, or give it to the Bride side, and  vice versa.







 
Post a Reply  


hiitsme41
London , United Kingdom
Male 45

View all Posts: 1240
 
12 Nov 2009 10:29 am  #21

 


so does that mean there is a act that stops muslims from taking or asking for dowry?


Or are muslims exempt from the law?


Like i said in islam men have to give dowry,


But like all things there are muslim  men that ask for ,


So if they are not coverd by this act, and there is no other act that prohibits them, Then it is unfair for only one part of sociaty to be governed by this law.


 


Iqbal


 


 
Post a Reply  


agnostos_theos
New Delhi , India
Male 60

View all Posts: 38
 
12 Nov 2009 10:58 pm  #22

While the reasons in "days of old" were different when the father of the Hindu Bride would give just one coin of the realm as "DAKSHINA" [trans: ENGLISH and SAME URDU WORD called BAKSHEESH] to GIVE THEWOMAN AWAY.The purpose was to wrench the very complex quasi sexual link between father and daughter so she could form a real time sexual link with the husband in the days when female virginity was the norm. I am not qualified to comment on any dowry in non-Hindus.


I suppose now that divorce is allowed in Hindus - Dowry might be looked at as an INSURANCE PREMIUM against divorce. No offence meant  as my "official" religion is Hindu for docmentary purposes. I wonder what the procedure is if a Hindu guy marries a Moslem or Christian girl in India under the "Special Marriages Act". Coz as far as I am aware,Moslem girls are not "given away" in Nikah which is essentially a civil contract and Christian Girls are "given away" by the father without any BAKSHEESH.


By the way, its is very common for English people to say "I got this in BAKSHEE". Meaning "I DID NOT PAY FOR THIS". So I suppose one could say Hindu guys now want big Baksheesh so Bride's dad can say I paid my son-in-law what my daughter was worth. Big Laugh no offence. Guy I knew in England got married to the girl he had been living in for some months just to placate the parents of both. I advised the guy to make sure the bride did not say "dont bother dad, I have already given myself away" when the traditional question is asked "WHO GIVES THIS WOMAN AWAY?". To their credit they both took the joke in good humour. So please do the same to this post.


 
Post a Reply  
« Prev Topic | Next Topic »
 Page 1 of 2     « First < 1 2  
Forum Jump: