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Total Replies: 212 |
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Topic: Why Can't a 57 yr old guy have gal 19-25 as partner?  |
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 26 Aug 2006 08:35 am | #1 |
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Hi ppl
I have received a lot of criticism (privately & publicly) for wishing to have a partner ouf of my stated "favorit age group" of 19-27. Some older gals have even suggested privately, that this would be immoral coz I am "chasing" these young gals who are like "butterflies flitting from flower to flower".
I am curious 2 know (mayb coz of having lived in England for a long time) Y ppl should be so interested or against a personal matter. I did notice a COMPLETE CHANGE in the attitudes of one of the most "conswervative race" - the English - in matters of "relationships, live-ins, single parents, marriage" during the period I was in England. Statistics show now there are TWO MILLION ppl in England not choosing to get married. ** Edited By Moderator **
Having read many articles in the press about these matters and wat appear to be almost THE SAME COMPLETE CHANGE at least in the "upper crust" or "westernised circles" in India I am wondering whether or not the "older generation" can be compared to the English King CANUTE who stood by the sea shore and "ordered" the tide 2 recede.
I also wonder if the "younger ganeration" who R causing this "tide" treat the "older generation" as KING CANUTE?
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| 26 Aug 2006 07:46 pm | #2 |
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hey,
simple math...
57+10=67 ...one might have simply lost interest or maybe totally unable to keep things going !
19+10=29...probably still in her peaking stage !
so even though a 57 yr old maybe looking for a short term solution for his last few yrs of vigor n vitality...the gal is looking for a longer term relation.
it doesnt matter how others look at it...one will just find it a little difficult to convince a young enough gal !! but if one does manage at that age..well then best of luck !!
ciao.
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| 26 Aug 2006 09:35 pm | #3 |
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Hi prashant
I do manage and I dont need any luck. And a little tip from someone who was not very brilliant in Maths in his BSc but always got distinctions in Physics - Science does come into a lot of things in life and can be applied even to gals at times.
In my limited experience I was never able to apply any kind of math 2 my relationships wid gals.
I would agree wid u that Math becomes very important in Divorce when one's assets are being examined - but if U know enough science then u should be able to ensure that while the "going is good" it is more CHEMISTRY that counts rather than any other branch of science.
Gals PEAK in their career and many other requirements between 30 and 40. Widout meaning 2 be personal - just a caveat - the guy's YOUTH/VIGOUR does not gurantee any success as far as a gals requirements in the 19-25 or 30-40 year age brackets are concerned.
That is a misconception on the part of most guys and gals. I dont try to 'convince' any gal nor have I ever tried to. They are capable of making their OWN decisons AT ANY AGE.
I am not looking for ANY TERM SOLUTION coz I am not aware of being lumbered wid any problem. I would like to know how U claim 2 know wat any gal involved wid me is "looking for" coz I would not wish to hazard a guess as 2 wat any gal involved wid you is "looking for". UNLESS ALL GALS ARE THE SAME.
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| 26 Aug 2006 10:18 pm | #4 |
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hi IMB,
1. Could be bec. of generation gap ?????
2. or they are freighten the relationship will ending calling uncle or dad ?????
just kidding.
best wishes.
nitu
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| 26 Aug 2006 11:30 pm | #5 |
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Hi nitu
I discovered something startling after six months of coming 2 India in November 2003. I found that the "generation gap" between gals 19-25 and guys 19-30 was WIDER than that between gals 19-25 and gals 26++. I then discovered 2 my amazement that as long as I retained my values acquired in England then there was NO AGE GAP between myself and gals 19-25.
The FIRST six months there WAS a Generation gap tween me and gals 19-28 coz I was trying 2 adopt wat I thought were "traditional Indian Values". I expect the age gap between gals 19-25 and lots of guys 19-25 is there 4 the same reason.
It might interest U to know that right upto the early 70's lots and lost of English couples in their late 30's up called the Wife "MOTHER" and the Wives called their hubbies "DAD". Well I have heard it wid my own EARS I can assure U. So wat u say to that friend - surprised?
Do u mean " ..frighetned the relationship will end if V have someone calling me dad and her mum"
In any event I always tell every gal who I feel may b interested in my as "dad" in the aforesaid manner that I dont believe in Divorce. So far no one has asked me wat I believe in as the alternative 2 divorce. So mayb none of them think of any possible relationship ending - unless u can suggest any reason. Tnx 4 good wishes.
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| 27 Aug 2006 09:40 am | #7 |
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ok give me one resaon why u dont want 50 yr old as you partner...wht is wrong with tht.....
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| 27 Aug 2006 10:13 am | #8 |
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You are entitled to your whims and fancies at least in your mind. Whether they ever materialise is another matter.
Now, I am putting myself into this young ladies shoes.....for some reason I fit your fancies and I happen to madly love you, I would be terribly embarassed to be the girl that everyone read on fropper about....the one that IMB has managed to get.
Let me put it a different way. Maybe a different example will help...
OK, say I meet a man who has been talking for several years about meeting a lady who not only has an enormous bottom but she must have large feet....these are his requirements. He really wants his lady to have these two things. (btw, this is not a joke..I came across men like this) But instead of meeting ladieswho were tall and perhaps heavy, and working out for himself whether they suited his desires and fancies, he tells everyone everywhere that the woman of his dreams must have big butt and big feet.
Now wouldn't it be embarassing that once he has found this girl, everyone brands her....oh , he has finally found the woman of his dreams with BIG bottom and BIG feet!!
A lady really has sooooooooo many aspects to her character and appearance but she is now reduced to being infamous for just two things....I would want to be appreciated for a very broad range of my traits and would feel degraded and embarassed to be known as "fitting that bill". I wonder if that explanation helps at all.
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| 27 Aug 2006 10:37 am | #9 |
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its quite ok........ if the girl is ready to have a relationship. After all its the choice of the individuals.I don't think there is any moral involved in it, chemistry between the two matters. ...........anyway!!! all the best  ......Bravo
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| 27 Aug 2006 11:11 am | #11 |
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"You are entitled to your whims and fancies at least in your mind."
Whims and fancies are the entitlement of ppl accustomed to using the word MIND as a REALITY. I dont use the word MIND as a Reality BUT ONLY AS A FIGURE OF SPEECH when using English . So mayb wat some ppl regard as my MIND is a bit of THEIR WHIM AND FANCY - whether it ever materialises FOR THEM is another matter. I make Firm Decisions by weighing up the FACTS and CALCULATING THE ODDS. So far most goals I desired for have always materialised NOT coz of the POWER OF THE MIND but by VIRTUE OF THE LAW OF KARMA.
" Now, I am putting myself into this young ladies shoes.....for some reason I fit your fancies and I happen to madly love you, I would be terribly embarassed to be the girl that everyone read on fropper about....the one that IMB has managed to get." One over 37 may try 2 put oneself into "this" (Indian gal's) 19-25 yr old's shoes - they are not likely to fit one unless one is the incarnation of Cinderella coz rest assured even if an INDIAN LADY of 28+ tried to put into a 19-25 yr old INDIAN Gal's shoes they would be too tight or too loose. Most 19-25 yr old INDIAN GALS are a UNIQUE breed and species. Unless one has interacted wid them at their MENTAL LEVEL one should not try to analyse, advise or criticise them. Pls use the word LOVE guardedly in Indian context.
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| 27 Aug 2006 02:48 pm | #13 |
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M/s Aussielinda
Pls realise I have LIVED/Worked/and "loved" in England 4 over 30 years. I KNOW wat the reality of the Western Mind is and wat "LOVE" is in the Western Context.
Unfortunately, even if a westerner LIVED/Worked and even LOVED in India I doubt if s/he would ever b able to understand the difference tween MIND and Hindu CHITTA, MANA, BUDDHI unless it was an intellectual like the late Mr. Justice Woodroffe of Kolkata High Court - A sanskrit scholar and A world known authority on the Rebirth Doctrine and the last Hindu scriptures the Tantras.
I therefore personally, suggest to most westerners not to try and 'understand' the Hindu - wat u would call MIND. I came to the conclusion that nobody can understand the HINDU unless one was born one likewise nobody can understand the Jew unless born one.
In fact I now find that even Indians who have acquired a superficial 'Western Skin" have difficulty in understanding their own kind. The only reason i am able to do so is coz I am a "small town boy" who started in a Moslem "Madarsa" and climbed my way to a pretty good position in England. It is 4 that reason that I do not like 2 criticize anything western except in self-defence.
I am grateful 4 any attempts 2 "help" me but I have never needed Any help from anyone at any time except my bank manager. So no hard feelinsg OK?
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| 27 Aug 2006 08:58 pm | #15 |
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@ IMB,
Why can't....?
There is absolutely no reason at all. It is an individual's personal choice.
However, that said, IF you would want people to pat your back and say well done, maybe you are expecting a bit too much. But in a land and time when our own Lalooji will stand up and say well done to a married professor who claims to love his student you never quite know... there may be quite a few who would certainly want to pat your back... and seen to be doing so.
Most of us here CANNOT claim ur experience in life in general and personal relationships in particular. Yet, without claiming any kind of similar worldly experience, I say a man's words say a lot about him. From reading several of your posts here on various topics one gets the feeling that:
1. You are a proud gentleman... proud of your accomplishments whatever they may be and they seem to be quite a few
2. There is something bitter, almost caustic in your outlook coupled with impatience, intolerance, and in your face arrogance
I wish to ask you where from this bitterness and arrogance originate? Is it simply becoz you feel that people here tend not to agree with u becoz of ur age and views? Or would it be something else, more deep rooted? If it were people here who irk you, would it not serve you better to let go, after all it takes different strokes different people to make life and the world.
... contd
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