A Dictionary of Male Speech Patterns...LIES MEN TELL !

                           Hi Everyone... I came across this 'VERY VERY   
USEFUL' article in a book some days back. So, just thought of sharing the same with you. This one's dedicated to the Most-Loved and Most-Hated specie of all times...known as 'MEN'. 
                          Men being the way are can't but help lying so here are some phrases we hear from them that mask what they really mean...
                          If read carefully, this will help our damsels in distress. And Men, this is not to be taken personally but to be enjoyed by YOU as well ! So, here we go :


                  The Dictionary of Male Speech Patterns


What he says - the lie                       :    What he means - the truth  

1."I can't find it."                              :   "I can't see it. It didn't fall into 
                                                           my hands, so it must not
                                                           exist."  
                              

2."It's a guy-thing."                          :    "There's no rational thought
                                                            pattern connected with it. It 
                                                            also explains my unjustifiable 
                                                            behaviour."


3."Can I help with dinner?"               :    "Why isn't it already on the 
                                                            table?"


4."We're going to be late."                 :    "I have a legitimate reason for
                                                            driving like a maniac."


5."Take a break, honey, you are         :    "I can't hear the telivision over
    working too hard."                               the vaccum cleaner."



6."That's interesting darling."              :    "Are you still talking?"



7."We don't need material things to     :    "I forgot our anniversary     
    prove our love."                                   again." 



8."It's really a good movie."                :    "It's got guns, Knives, fast
                                                              cars and naked women."



9."You know how bad my memory      :    "I remember the lyrics to 
     is."                                                     every silly hard rock song,
                                                              the address of the first girl
                                                              I kissed, and the registration
                                                              number of every vehicle I've 
                                                              ever owned, but I forgot                                                                your birthday."
                                                                           

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 
10."Call an ambulance! I think I  :    "I cut my finger."
      am dying."     



11."I heard you."                       :    "I haven't the faintest 
                                                    idea what you just said,
                                                     but u can stop talking 
                                                     now."



12."You really look terrific in       :    "Please don't try one 
      that outfit."                              more outfit, I am
                                                    starving."



13."I love you."                         :    "Lets make love."



14."you look tense - let me         :   "Same as above."
     give you a massage." 

                      
15."Will you marry me?"              :   "I want to make it 
                                                    illegal for you to make
                                                    love with other guys
                                                    and I need a
                                                    replacement for my
                                                     mother."


16."I do help around the             :   "I once threw a dirty 
     house."                                     towel near the laundry 
                                                    basket."      


              ............................................................. 

Tags: love, lies, men

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