Billing--------Filling---------Gruelling!!!

Have you ever felt that you’ve taken all kinds of s**t in life? Well---------you may have reasons to believe so; but you haven’t reached there yet, if you haven’t experienced ‘irate, impatient and incompetent’ staff of Govt/Public/Private Sectors!!!

Just the other day, I was at the telephone office, a part of the queue, lined up in front of the counter that said, ‘Cash-Landline’! Now, what had brought me there in the first place? Two telephone bills that took their own sweet time reaching my mail box! The bills arrived by post on a Wednesday, but my phone connection was severed two days earlier-can you beat it? They could be fast when they choose to be so!!!

The help-line numbers weren’t so --------umm—er—helpful, which was why I was there, in the blasted line, on begged and borrowed time on a working day! Whether the telephone department was to be blamed for late dispatch of bills, or the postal department for late delivery of mails--------------oh! Well-----it’s anybody’s guess!

I had received two bills; one, the last bill of my old connection and two, the first bill of my new connection. The old connection bill ran upto Rs. 212/- and the new upto Rs. 272/-; but the old bill read Rs.0/- (why should I have received a bill for a terminated connection for nil balance is probably a question worthy of being in the analytical section of CAT papers!); the second bill read: amount payable, Rs.272/- and amount pending Rs.212/- I handed in both the bills and like a true citizen I ‘tendered exact change’ too!!! The lady at the counter gave a cursory glance at the bill for Rs.0/- and nearly threw it back at my face; she then proceeded to make a receipt for Rs.272/- . I had to point out to the pending amount, for after all, I needed my connection back; pat came the reply, ‘you need another bill for that ma’am’! (Will anyone please tell me why a separate bill was not dispatched?) --------and I was shown to another counter, which was UNMANNED!!!

This person’s Google chat status was probably set to ‘not at my desk’--------what the heck!!! I approached the lady at the next counter and she said she was trying to manage both the counters, but I found her ‘efficiency challenged’!!! After a lot of hollering across counters, our lady appeared, gave me a bill, which was handwritten on a teeny-weeny 2x2 cm scrap paper; I had difficulty holding back a sarcastic remark, ‘boy, aren’t’ we professional’?

It was over and as I walked out I was wondering why I didn’t feel ‘elated’ at having cleared my bills!!!

My second stint that morning was at the bank-and the tiniest mercy was that I was not at the receiving end of the rude remarks of the irate staff!!! There was this gentleman ahead of me---might have been in his early forties-otherwise quite non-descript(would have made an excellent shadow detective); I gathered that he was there to transact a DD; he handed over the DD and the amount; here I have to take a minute to describe the guy at the counter – late forties/early fifties, bald-headed, pot-bellied, with a sour-puss expression, palpable non-chalance and indifference that could be sensed a mile around him; (sounds familiar?) My instincts said that he’d sport a gruff and impolite voice and I was bang on target! He literally barked at the gentleman with the DD to fill in a blank that was overlooked; that done, he was taken to task once again for having overlooked yet another blank; by then, he was in all of a dither; poor guy had no clue as to what he had to put in there, and our friend at the counter was not at his friendly best! So the episode went on, with an exchange of grunts of disapproval and requests of information between both the sides of the counter!!!

Isn’t this a serious issue that needs looking into? Don’t we all at times wonder whether we are ‘unpuds’ when it comes to ‘filling in forms’? But the million dollar question is, ‘who is going to look into it’? And the billion dollar question is, ‘If someone eventually does, then, how is it going to be addressed’?

I know it’s the height of optimism to hope that blogs/letters to the editor/debates and discussions are going to draw the attention of concerned authorities; yet------between you, me and the gatepost, we could perhaps come up with a few solutions!!!

a) A course on ‘Filling up forms of all kinds and handling wrong billing’ could be made a mandatory subject in high/higher secondary schools; one more subject wouldn’t make a difference to the already existing myriad!

b) A philanthropist, who’s a veteran in such issues, could bring out one of those self-help books-‘How to fill up forms and handle billing issues?’, or ‘Ten easy steps to form filling’!!!

c) A new post titled ‘Process Executive-Form Filling’, could be generated; the job profile could read, ‘in charge of training all and sundry in the ‘know-how’ of form filling’! (welcome aboard one more irate staff?ha haaaaa)

d) The mushrooming training and developing institutes/learning centres could come up with a new hi-end module on ‘form filling’; they could have catchy lines like, ‘Fill it, File it, Forget it’!!! (thanks to an old two-wheeler ad, ‘fill it, shut it, forget it’!!!

e) HR-Training of all Govt/Public/Private Sectors could introduce a mandatory module, where all the staff would be trained on ‘Customer Service’; the highlights of course would be, smiling, patience and politeness!!!

f) Smart Alecs could make a fast buck by printing leaflets that say, ‘101 secret methods to handle form filling and wrong billing issues’; it could include ideas like, ‘act like an illiterate and get someone else to fill in the forms-just make your thumb impression at the end!’

g) A whole new ‘business boom’ could begin-something along the lines of travel/passport agencies; ‘Filling forms? No more qualms’!!! (Wow Chithra, you could start your own business, woman!)

Mmm------so, where do we go from here? I’ll keep my fingers crossed that Bangalore Mirror happens upon this post and publishes it; and that someone would grab an idea or two from this and set the ball rolling------the machines billing------and the forms filling!!! Ha haaaaaaaaaa 

 

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