From an Indian student's diary:

It was early spring of 1997. I was visiting Lincoln, Nebraska on a research program with University of Nebraska, USA. On a modest stipend and shoestring budget, I was staying at a cheap bedsit and eating at the local McDonalds. Waking up early, grabbing a quite bite at the McDonalds before heading to university was my morning routine. But one fine day, this routine was broken due to an unusual event.

Just when I was getting ready to step out in the morning, my landlady came up to inform me that somebody wished to see me. Downstairs, I saw a well-dressed official-looking guy waiting for me. "Hello Mr. XXXX. Mr. Grant, the mayor of Lincoln, would like to meet you personally regarding an official matter. I am David, his secretary. I am here to take you to mayor's office", he said.

I was surprised, and even scared; why the mayor of the town wanted to see me? Did I do anything wrong? Did they suspect that I was a potential illegal immigrant? Or had I broken a law I did not even know of?

The secretary sensed my unease and informed me, "The mayor is pleased to see that you, as a visiting scholar, doing a commendable job at the university. He'd like to honor you by conferring on you the honorary title of His Excellency Vise-Admiral of the Navy of Nebraska."

What!!!! I couldn't believe my ears? The mayor would like to honor me? That too, with such a grand title? Naturally, I was elated and was ready to meet the mayor.

The secretary took me to the mayor's office in mayor's official car (how long was that car!!!). Once I was led inside his office, the mayor greeted me with a warm handshake and welcomed me to his town. The secretary promptly brought forward a certificate, which proclaimed that the mayor of Lincoln has conferred the title of His Excellency Vise-Admiral of the Navy of Nebraska on me. The mayor handed the certificate to me, and immediately the secretary shepherded me out of the office. I was surprised that the "ceremony" was so short, but was happy nevertheless.

I was in high-spirit when I returned from the mayor's office. Instead of going to the university, I decided to celebrate by having lunch at a fancy restaurant. Ditching my frugal habits, I ordered a turkey and wine and ate as if I was the king of the city. I even left a hefty tip, to the surprise of the waiters. I was already daydreaming about how my family and girlfriend would be surprised by this news; their own good-for-nothing Mr. XXXXX was now His Excellency Vise-Admiral of the Navy of Nebraska!!! What fun!!! Thinking of all this and humming a pleasant tune, I returned to my bedsit.

My reverie was broken by the voice of my landlady calling me. She told me that someone had called for me. Taking the phone from her, I said, "Yes, this is Mr. XXXXX here". "Good evening, Mr. XXXXX. This is David again, from the mayor's office. I hope you did not take your honorary title too seriously", he said (trying to stifle his laughter, I fancy). "The mayor has this habit of playing pranks on visiting foreigners. Nebraska, being a land-locked state, does not have a Navy and thus cannot have a Vise-Admiral; honorary or otherwise". And that was when my eyes fell on the desk-calendar near the phone. The date was April 1st. 

*This is a work of fiction without an iota of truth.

Tags: nebraska, navy, vise-admiral, april 1st, april fool, title, honorary, fun