Posted on: Apr 14, '08
HORN ok PLEASE...
Last month my friend from Spain visited India, Chennai for the first time and was here for a week. We were going around the city in our company’s hired car, a Ford Icon.
After the first day travel around the city, my friend exclaimed “I just could not understand how people could drive on this city roads without killing somebody or without hitting other vehicles. So fast and so close, so disorganized and so unpredictable, yet they all seem to be controlled by some kind of magnetic repulsion against each other vehicle. So many different kinds of vehicles on the same road, everyone driving in their own speed, directions and nobody could ever imagine who will stop or turn when. It is absolutely amazing.”
To me it came as a surprise, because, most of the foreigners, who visit India almost invariably ‘complained’ about only one thing - “HONKING”
- One American asked me in bewilderment “How could somebody write on their vehicle’s butt ‘SOUND HORN’, while the whole world is trying to get rid of or minimize this menace.????”
- One German said to me ‘I am convinced that you Indians are addicted to honking, that you cannot drive a few meters without honking once or twice.’
- One Italian friend said ‘Indians can even drive a car without a steering wheel, but they could never drive a car without a Horn’
Myself, was driving in India for about 10 years, in true Indian style on Indian roads and then moved to the Gulf in 1992. I was driving in Kuwait and Saudi Arabia, where driving is as reckless as anywhere else, but they don’t use horns as we Indians do. And I too adopted to that style of driving, using horns to the minimum.
I returned back to India few months before and started driving again… After 15 years…
Did things change? Did we improve in our driving habits?
I self-analyzed my driving habits and Gosh.. I am using the Horn as much as any other driver on the road. How come my driving habits changed overnight?
I get into my car in the morning, getting ready t go to office. I am backing my car out of my house portico and there are this man in a bike, comes fast from down the street. Normally I expect him to slow down or stop, allowing the car to back-up and then pass. (As they do abroad). But this guy comes fast, with his finger pressing his HORN hard, asking me to stop half-way for him to pass..!!! Next day when I was backing up my car, I saw similar guy on a bike, I blow my car Horn a few times and he stopped…!
Lesson No.1. If you have the right of way, BLOW YOUR HORN to show to others that you really have the right of way.
Now I started moving. There goes this old man, walking right in the middle of the road. I was just moving slowly behind him, (no honking. Old man you see…) And allowing him to realize that a car is coming behind and expected him to move aside. Few meters down, he turns back at me, stops and shouts at me… Don’t you stupid *&^% man… Don’t have a horn in you car..??? Why don’t you give horn? (Yes.. here in India, we are supposed to ‘give horn’… What should I say..?? “Saaarrry Saar.. Paardon Me saaar.. My mistake saaar” I learned my Lesson No. 2. Give(!) horns to pedestrians for them to move to the side of the roads…!!!
Moving on, on the main road, I had to floor the brakes so sudden, to avoid killing that young woman in a Scooty, with her small kid standing in front of her, right behind the handle bars and two more kids clinging on to her from the back. Of course, she was taking her kids to school. She came from the side road and entered the main road at the same speed, up to the middle of the road and then turned left to align with the main road. The problem (or I should say the nature) of women riding a two-wheeler is that their head and eyes always turn only synchronized with the handle bars… They don’t turn their vision or head to the left or right to see unless their scooter also turns..!!! Call it Venusian’s Logic..!!! So, she saw me only after she was about to turn the scooter, while she was already in the middle of the road, right in front of me. What happened next was incredible. She stops her bike in front of me, Turns back and shouts “Cant you see you stupid idiot? A Scooter is coming? Didn’t you listen my horn? Are you deaf?” And she happily moves on.
What do you think? I learned my Lesson No.3: “If a lady gives horn, you better listen and obey her. No matter who is on the main road and who is entering. It doesn’t work that way here”
Next time when I see a lady coming rushing from the side roads, I trumpet my car horn so wild she thinks there is some emergency and stops before the junction..!!!
Continuing, now I am on one of the main roads that leads me to the city, I am waiting in a traffic light – a signal. There was about 2 feet gap between me and the car in front. A biker comes from the side, turns perpendicular to the road and squeezes through the gap between me and the car in front. He almost broke my headlights and I got real mad. He passed and another wise guy tries the same again. I blew my temper through the car horn and surprise, he stopped trying. The guy next to him didn’t even think of passing. Here came Lesson No. 4; Blow your temper through your car horn, to save it from scratches. Keep watching 360 degrees around your car all the time you wait in a traffic-light / signal.
Now, the signal turns green and all vehicles starts to move. Of course, the famous Honk-honk-honk, of almost all the vehicles in the scene, as vehicles started slowly turtling their way. They guy to my left in his Tata Indica, suddenly noses his car in front of me. I was caught unawares and stopped. He slowly moved, passed me in front and turned to my right to make a U turn. Damn Darn Dawn Daln Dahn....!!! How could someone do that..!!! Before I came out of my shock, the guy in a Honda Civic, to my right, suddenly presses past me and happily moved into my lane and without indicators moved to the left and turned left..!!! Do you know what I did next time? I honk-honk-honked until I cleared the signal crossing to the other side and then started moving, to deter vehicles cutting my way from either side. That was of course Lesson No.5: Keep Honking loud to discourage people cutting lanes at traffic lights, lest your fenders get peeled off.
Now I am on the double lane road with divider. I expected that some decency could reign there. Three went a three wheeler, right in the middle of the road, at about 15 kmph, loaded at least 3 times more of its capacity with big size water bottles. These vehicles and the likes have no rear view or side views at all. The drivers have only partial front vision and you never know when he would stop or turn. What you do? You honk. But, that was not enough. The vehicle moved just a few inches to the left, leaving exact space for a small car to pass through. Being sure my Cedia wouldn’t make it, I honked few more times, He gave me a bit more space. After passing him, I could see some curious look in his eyes and I once asked my taxi-driver friend why he did that. He explained “Because, your car horn sounds like an Indica or a Swift. So he allowed just that much space. I suggest you change it to Air-Horn, which is normally in big cars and people would give you more space for you.” Lesson No.6: All Indian drivers are programmed to identify the type of vehicle that comes behind you by the sound of its horn.
Now I am on a free way and a bit sane driving, I thought. A Honda city was moving in half first and half second lane, occasionally straying either side. I noticed that both the side view mirrors folded inwards and it had dark sun-film all around the windscreens and windows. No way of getting any glimpse of who is driving. Added to that all those Teddy Bears, Hand Bags, carry-bags from Boutiques, a pair of sandals, a tissue box and some newspapers on the rear side of the car, I was damn certain the driver didn’t bother about the rear-view mirror anyways. I wanted to pass and I tried to approach from the right, no response. Then I tried from the left and again I wasn’t sure. Still the car was merrily swaying left and right and the last option I had was to honk a bit, to make the driver realize that I want to pass. No reaction. Now once again I blew the Bull’s temper through my car’s Horns (!) for more than 15 seconds and the car gives me way. After passing the car, I noticed the driver behind and I wasn’t surprised why she (Yes it was a she) didn’t give me way, she had her cell phone blue tooth on her ears and few more passengers were kind of swaying to the Muzik that was blaring from the car’s stereo.
Lesson No.7. When car rear view mirrors are folded, rear windscreen used as additional boot space, you have no option but to HONK for safe passage.
Over a few cups of Mochas, I explained these things to the Spaniard and he seemed to have understood the Honkotronics that has been in use in India, which is so advance technology, that can be so effectively implemented in cities with small congested roads, and a thousand different types of vehicles that could use the same roads.
This car is fitted with Honkotronics.
He was wondering if Amsterdam or Paris could implement Honkotronics in their cities, it could take 5 to 6 times more vehicles than it currently could…!!!!!
Tags: driving, india, honking, horn
VintageWine48 said:
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