Is your spouse cheating!

You come home early, open the bedroom door and find them in your bed. You shut the door in horror and storm out of the house straight to your hairdressers saloon for you badly need to cut something up! You talk your heart out to the hairdresser who is more of a shrink than your real one! She tells you to go back there and confront him!
Enlightened and empowered, you come back home You confront him!
He says "she was never there." 
"Dont lie you cheat !" you scream
"I saw you in bed together! "You throw the pillow at him, which he skillfully dodges.
He admits she was there, but remained fully dressed all the time
"Oh yeah? Dressed in nothing but her socks?" another pillow thrown..
He then confesses that yes, she was undressed , but all the time he was on his mobile phone and talking to other people .
"So one in the bed, the other on phone?You monster!" This time you have to break a few dishes for lack of better martial arts training. 
He then discloses that she was the girlfriend of one of his friends and  he was actually there with them.
"I did not see him around , you creep!" slam the door, tear up his shirt!
Then  he says  "OK she was there alone, but only because she had nowhere else to go when his friend dropped her off and left! "
He then admits that she was in fact in his bed, but she only sat there to put back  her shoes on!(she had her socks on all the time). 
Confesses that whilst she was in his bed, he wasn't in bed with her and wasn't even in the same room  mentally he was elsewhere... 
Finally admitted that yes, he invited her over n yes they ended up in bed together (although he swears they did nothing and they were just watching a movie)..
When will you admit the truth?

Well after that you know what you must do! You must drag the cheat to the court and seperate right?
But no! you tell your parents, brothers and sisters, friends,online friends everyone in sight and within hearing distance..

Bad choices in most cases.They are just like ordinary froppies here, not trained in combat operations, not trained to give proper advice, because they cannot identify the disease.The disease is not cheating once in a way, its pathological and chronic lying!

Let us examine the pointers to cheating spouses:

They fly into outrage attacks after they realize you're questioning their lies
(You must stay calm and keep questioning)

They try distraction techniques, when you catch them lying, playing word games,  phoning up  people, text messaging on mobile, or even just storming out of the room. 
(But do not get distracted, stay focused)

After using the distraction technique, or rage attack, or sometimes both, they will pretend that nothing ever happened. 
(Ok time to get that big diamond set dears. let him pay for it)

They re-write history, so it never did happen in their minds. 
(You are the only one who remembers, and dont YOU ever forget what he did last time.He will do it again real soon)

Now that you have basic idea of what is cheating, lets proceed to 

Dealing  with the cheats in your life:

Someone who lies to others is someone who lies to themselves. 
They can not admit that they are liars. 
They seem to believe what they say. 
They have very little morals or conscience which makes it all too easy for them to fabricate the truth.
They have no regard for others, and they dont care about how their lies effect the lives of others. 
They are more concerned about image rather than the truth of a situation and go to great lengths to protect themselves with their lies. 
It is impossible to trust someone who is a known liar. 

In the end, their lies create situations that only hurt the genuine and sincere people they deceive. How ? lets find out!

Say you decide to continue to love such people for the sake of your children and for what you beleive is your real love, and want to continue to stay with them and live the lie you are going to end up providing a cover up for them.

You are going to make your children into little liars too, for they will also need to hide the truth and provide cover up for both parents!

They will have to go on pretending that everything is A-OK and hunky dorey on the home front, when they know it is not, and lose respect for you !

(wow at this point I am all tied up in knots for havent I been guilty of doing it all for a long time!)
to be continued ....

Tags: dagneysharmas blog.

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