Breach of trust

Since aliens refuse to abduct her, ds is froppering around. She actually hypnotized me into thinking I am C-Chandni. 
Not a good enough preamble/prologue? Well then folks, this is where you should be heading and reading----->                                                       http://www.fropper.com/posts/14505  and
                                                                                      http://www.fropper.com/posts/14561

I have gotten into/under the skin of the character named Chandni. Going forward, on this blog 
I am C.

Folks in pain out there..
To be at the receiving end of betrayal is not an enviable position by any stretch of the imagination. You have to brush off your wounds the best you can and take baby steps forward.  After all, the show must go on, life has to be lived.  Pain, they say instills toughness in folks that have had encountered it.  But me, every pain leaves me all the more vulnerable. Twisted logic at its best.

Not too long ago, someone that I love and trust misplaced my faith in him, at least momentarily.  The usual routine followed and I being totally caught unawares, went with the flow.  There was denial on his part, wrath in my part, at the injustice, 'why me' stuff,endless hours of pondering where could I have possibly gone wrong, shutting myself inside of a room and screaming myself hoarse- at the raw deal meted out by 'fate' and then to eventual acceptance.  

What next? Share with a caring soul or two -only to be told that it is all a figment of my imagination.  Honestly, if I could imagine that well, I would be in a coveted position even by my personal banker's standards. Everyone wanted proof of the breach of trust.  Evidence that my trust was misplaced.  I mean, think about it-where have you ever heard of a crook leaving proof, evidence scattered carelessly around for sleuths to saunter by and catch him red-handed?!  If that were the case, cops world over would have a field day.   

Folks suggested I go to a shrink.  I was appalled.  What for?  As if having been slighted is not painful enough, now the shrink is going to relieve me of my bank balance too? Talk about having to burn the candle at both ends.

I decided to be my own counsellor.  All I needed was a place to think freely and a scrap book and a pen to jot down my random musings on the topic.  The choices I had -to avenge the unjustness or to forgive and move on. Revenge is sweet, they say but then you have to live with a possible and probable guilt for rest of your lives. As for forgiving? Easier said than done. The memory of it all will just bring back the resentment with a vengeance. And any inkling of the act of 'forgiving' will go for a nosedive, for some memories die hard or even worse, seldom perish!

This is when you really have to chart out the pros and cons of the choices.  I did exactly that.  All the moments of togetherness and happiness could be ditched versus bring forth to justice an evil doer.  Hard choice to make.  Call me a coward. Call me a craven if u will.  But I found it worthwile to save the relationship even if there was an iota of love,romance was left over.   It is never easy to act magnanimous and condone a sinner.  But I did.  I am happier for it.  The short of it is - the miscreant has turned over for the better.    Neverthless, the question still lurks..once a wrongdoer, he can always go in and err a second time too- with more skill attained  in the process-or for that matter, err 'n' times.  But that is a chance I am willing to take for I belive in the inherent goodness of the person.  If only we could all resist temptation that crosses our path, half the battle is won! 

Folks, rising above the culpable characters and forgiving is also a way of life.  Sometimes you stoop and land up conquering and you emerge the winner!

-signing off as C.

Tags: rising above, pain, betrayal, trust, forgive

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