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Posted on: Jun 04, '08

Satsangh with Biscuit Baba – II

Note:
All characters mentioned in this blog are real and living, with the possible exception of 'G'. Any reference to people dead or imaginary is purely co-incidental or a figment of your imagination.
As there is no copyright on comments posted on fropper blogs, any complaints against the use of the same in this blog shall not be entertained.
WARNING: The following material may be injurious to male egos and may even be fatal to fragile male egos. Men possessing the same are requested to please leave this page immediately if they wish their egos to continue to enjoy good health

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Satsangh with Biscuit Baba – II

“Hello Baba. When are you off to the Himalayas?” I asked.

“No pilgrimage to the Himalayas this time baccha. The railways refuse to accept glucose biscuits as currency.” As you already know if you have read my earlier blog, Biscuit Baba only barters in glucose biscuits, accepting them as dakshina and distributing them as prasad.

“Oh, that’s so sad!” I said. “Didn’t you tell them who you are?”

“I did, but they refused to take me seriously,” said Biscuit Baba.

“Hmm… I can see their point Baba.” I said, glancing at Baba’s well-worn blue jeans and crisp white kurta. Biscuit Baba is an individualist and refuses to follow any fashion, even those relating to sadhus and saints. I’m sure the railway official must have snorted derisively when informed of Biscuit Baba’s identity. “Well, at least you have the consolation of living on a hill, even if you can’t go to the mountains” I said, deploring the ignorant world’s insistence of judging a book by its cover.

“Yes, I always count my blessings baccha. However, that’s enough about me. You tell me what has been happening with you?” asked Biscuit Baba.

“A lot has happened Baba.” I said. I paused for a sip of chai while gathering my thoughts. “Baba, remember Paulo Coelho said in his book that if we really want something, the entire universe conspires to see that we get it? Well, much the same thing has been happening to me!” I continued, full of wonder and awe. “After our last satsangh, I was pondering over what we had discussed and it was like the entire universe chipped in with its comments! Yesterday I felt like saying hello to Ganeshji so I decided to visit him at his branch office near my house. As I was walking to the branch office, I came across three wise women. They knew about our satsangh and all of them patted me on the back for taking the right stand! They cheered me on and told me to continue to be true to myself. They even said I was fit to be part of their sisterhood!!” I said happily. “Are they colleagues of yours Baba?”

“I’m not privileged enough baccha.” Biscuit Baba said regretfully. “Then what happened? Your entire being is communicating to me that you have more to tell.”

I was amazed! How could Biscuit Baba know that I was quivering with eagerness and not shivering with fever? I don’t know about the others, but surely this Baba is all knowing, I thought.

“Yes, there is more Baba!” I agreed. “A little further on I passed by a sanctuary.”

“Sanctuary? Or asylum perhaps?” asked Biscuit Baba

“Or asylum.” I conceded graciously. “Well, at this asylum I saw a sign board. It said ‘shed some weight. Not for people and all their bs. But for all the good it would do to YOU, your health, your energy level.’ I feel that is a VERY sensible sign board, don’t you Baba?” I asked.

“Certainly baccha. Your body is the temple of your soul. You should treat it just as reverently. Tell me, are you eating home cooked food, as I told you to? A balanced diet? Lots of vegetables and fruits? Less of the pizzas and burgers? And are you regular with your meditation and yoga?” Biscuit Baba asked.

“Oh yes I am Baba!” I said righteously. “Er… I also eat a lot of chips and chocolates and ice cream.” I added blushing. “But that’s food for my soul na?” I continued hopefully.

Baba sighed and ran his hand through his hair, as if he devoutly wanted to help his hairline recede further.

“I shall pray that your soul shall soon be satisfied with wholesome, healthy home cooked food and not need the chips and chocolates and ice cream, baccha. It shall probably require a Mahayagna, but for you my child, even that may be too little an effort.”

“You will?? Oh thank you Baba!!” I said, elated at Biscuit Baba’s kind and caring gesture for me. “But there is more Baba. Shall I continue?” I asked.

“Please do baccha, with all possible speed and in as much précis form as possible.” Biscuit Baba said.

“OK. I went to Ganeshji’s branch office and there was an Uncleji waiting in line to see him. He looked like he was earmarked for trouble, Baba, and he was repeating the words on the asylum’s sign board. Seeing me he said, ‘Asylum bee right as far as Health goes; N; fer no reason else!!!! In any case; there bee enuff 'Lady' admirers yee hath gots here; as Aiye ken cee; N; one ken do widout men TOTALLY these days.....’
I was going to thank him, but the rat at Ganeshji’s feet er.. I mean the one who officiates as a peon outside his cabin, started talking!”

“You mean ‘the mouse’ of course.” Biscuit Baba attempted to correct me.

“Well, yes, and this was a mighty mouse. Very fit and trim too! In spite of having a weakness for biscuits with chocolate cream filling!!” I said enviously. Tell me, all ye reading this, if YOU came across a mighty mouse that can afford a weakness for biscuits with chocolate cream filling and doesn’t have the decency to have a paunch, and even goes a step further by not having a tummy, wouldn’t you be envious too? Disgusted even??? Eh??

“Baba, you two are so alike!” I continued.

“WHAT?? Are you telling me I’m like a MOUSE??” Baba thundered. He also thumped his hand on the table. The spoon from the sugar pot near Baba’s cup of chai jumped up and dived into his chai. And the chai jumped up and smothered Baba’s face and spattered his crisp white kurta. Oh dear!! Now Baba seemed to get into the spirit of things and started imitating a boiling kettle. I thought it best to keep respectful silence till Biscuit Baba had finished with his playacting and waited for the steam to stop coming out from his nostrils.

“Baba, you are mistaking me” I said soothingly. “I only meant that this mighty mouse and you are alike in terms of your refusal to follow fashion and be true to yourselves…” I looked at Biscuit Baba to see if the explanation had cleared his misconceptions.

“So what did the mighty mouse have to say?” asked Baba, his conceptions now apparently being clear as Swarovski crystals.

“He told me ‘u can either have male attention or u can have allergy to sweat, not both’.” I said.

“Hmm. This mighty mouse has a point of course,” Biscuit Baba said fairly. “But baccha, do you need the kind of men this mighty mouse is referring to at all? A man who is attracted to your waistline rather than your beautiful nature and amazing mind is dicey stuff, don’t you think? If you were to lose your waistline later, he would immediately start hunting for other tracks that run along the lines of his mind. No baccha, better to give these ignorant jerks a wide berth.” Biscuit Baba advised.

“But Baba, then it will be like how the night laughingly said last night.” I protested.

“Eh?” I don’t know how or why, but Biscuit Baba’s eyes seemed to be engaged in intense communication. You’ll understand what I mean when I tell you that both his eyes were looking into each other intently. WOW! Could Biscuit Baba have gone into a meditative trance in the middle of our conversation??
A momentary meditation, this, for even now Biscuit Baba’s eyes finished their tête-à-tête and both looked straight at me. “What? What? What? What night last night? Huh?” Biscuit Baba still hadn’t cleared away the mist of his meditation it seemed to me. Nevertheless, far be it from me to question this evolved, exalted, all-knowing sage.

“You see Baba, last night I was strolling on the terrace, and the night started speaking!” I said excitedly.

“Baccha, you really HAVE been communicating with the Universe!” Biscuit Baba said with a touch of reverence in his voice. “So what did the night say?”

“It said, ‘just think if there were no men in this world........there would only be fat, hairy but happy women everywhere!!’ Baba, why do you think she put in that ‘hairy’ part? I didn’t understand.” I said, showing my confusion.

“Ummm… well baccha, if you remember, at our last satsang it became quite late and it was dark when you said ‘Men have paunches! They have one fourth the hair I have on their heads! Do I hold it against them? Do I ask them to change? NO!!!!!!’ Do you remember?” Biscuit Baba asked.

“Yes, but then it’s true na?” I asked, incensed once again at the injustice of it all.

“Yes, yes, baccha, you are quite right.” Biscuit Baba said placating me. “But perhaps you should have said you have more hair on your head than men do. No doubt the night heard your words and was confused into thinking that you are hairy?”

“Ooohhh!! That way huh? Hmm. Ok. But what about what the night said about a world with no men Baba? I wouldn’t like it at all! I quite like men!” I was distraught over the possibility of no men in the world.

“Of course you do baccha! Whoever doesn’t like some amusing entertainment in life?? And besides, you know several men who are worthy of your company no?” Biscuit Baba asked.

“Oh yes Baba!! There are all these friends of mine, then there is the Uncleji I met in Ganeshji’s branch office, (I’ve become rather fond of him) and of course there’s YOU!!!” I said enthusiastically.

“Hurrrmmpph!” Biscuit Baba seemed disgruntled. “I don’t come into this category anymore baccha! I’ve passed beyond this category and become Biscuit Baba, haven’t I???”

“Sorry Baba! I didn’t mean to upset you!” I said alarmed.

“Well, it’s ok this once, but kindly refrain from making such errors in future.” Biscuit Baba said.

“Yes, Baba! Certainly Baba! Have no fear Baba! I shall certainly remember Baba!” I said. For those of you who are wondering why I was falling over myself to be placating, I ask you, would YOU want to be in Biscuit Baba’s bad book, idiots???

“So then where do we go from here?” asked Biscuit Baba.

“Where would you like to go Baba?” I asked. “There’s a fantastic Thai restaurant in the next block. Would you like to try it?” I asked enthusiastically. Home cooked food is all very fine, but nothing beats eating out, you know? And THAI food??!!!! Uuuummmm…!!!!

Biscuit Baba looked like some fairly big bug had bit him. He grimaced. And scowled. The bug must have bit him on his forehead, because he slapped it (his forehead) with a lot of force and sound. I’m certain that I am right in supposing that no bug of any size could survive such a slap, for Biscuit Baba took three deep breaths and was calm again.

“Baccha, what I meant was where has all this communion with the universe brought you and where are you going from here?” Biscuit Baba asked gently and kindly, as if… naahh! It was just my overactive imagination that made it seem as if Biscuit Baba was talking to a retarded, drunk and doped juvenile delinquent.

“Well Baba, the three wise ladies of the sisterhood said I was on the right path no? Then you clarified whatever doubts there were about what the asylum signboard, the Uncleji, the mighty mouse and the night said no?” I summed up.

“Yes Baccha. So now you can search for your soul mate with a clear mind. Take care that he should be your soul mate, literally!! Someone who appreciates your intelligence and wit, loves your sense of humour, is good at running along the track and not just in a hurry to reach the finish line and is game to try out practically all your theoretical knowledge about track running and finish lines. And never mind if he looks like a charming prince or a frog.
Moreover, if anybody tells you that you need to get married just because you are a woman and a woman needs a man, first of all give them a tight slap. Then tell them that in today’s world, a woman doesn’t need a man just because she is a woman. She can earn her living and take care of herself better than any man can. So today’s woman can be choosy and wait till she finds her soul mate!”

“Oh I will continue my search Baba, and as you so rightly said, he will have to be my soul mate. I shan’t settle for less.” I said confidently.

Tags: humour, men, women

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manisha_bhattacharya said:
olive -- thanks! thank you sooooo much!

uncleji -- well, really!!! how is anyone to remain miffed at you if you insist on being so honest and sweet??

khushidey -- oh thanks!! That's a real GREAT compliment!!!

pradip -- thanks! As I told khushidey, that's a GREAT compliment!!

June 26, '08

Pradip57 said:
yes i agree with khushi, ur writings remind me sanjeeb chattopadhya. when is third part coming up?

June 25, '08

khushidey said:
Hi! Manisha!
Interesting Post,enjoyed reading it!

You writings remind me of the great writer Sanjeeb Chattopadhya!

June 25, '08

earmarkedfortrouble said:
Now U show UR weakness here by not saying who saids 'bhigi billi' 2 U!!!!!
Aiye am a BHIGI BILLI all rights; where Mee BOSS LADY bee KONCERNED!!!! PERIOD!!!
{ Why else Aiye bee RAVING N RANTING here's thumping Mee Chest???? Fer Mee DARE NOT even thinks abouts of itt at zee Homes dee meee.....}
Fer zee rest of 'ALL OF ZEE WOMEN'; KOME AND FINDS OUT FER THEMSELVES; how dry as GIN ken Aiye bee; AND / OR a bheega one AS WELL!!!!
GGGRRRRRRIIINNNNNN
Kaho Beta ji; Kaisi Rahii?????

As fer loverboy n UR banterings here; let's all call itt a day; N; Rest zee issue in PEACE; where ever it stands....
ISS MEE SUGGESTION TO ONE N ALL!!!!
AMEN

June 18, '08

oliveintl said:
wonderfulll BLOG.....

Sometimes I feel why is there so much HUE & cry on size '0' which ultimately is a round figure..

Imagine this if size '0' is all which everybody is dying for.... then why can they accept '0' in it's TRUE sense.... A ROUND FIGURE...

Anyhow I must accept one thing, YOU are great in Being proud of your FIGURE.....

And you have the courage to right such a wonderfull BLOG on this

June 14, '08

vidyut_strikes said:
Birenji, nice to know your thoughts on the subject matter.

June 13, '08

vidyut_strikes said:
Boy, manisha, I admire your patience and accepting nature for all of us visitors here.

June 13, '08

vidyut_strikes said:
Loverpoint2000, "THIS VIEWS I WANTED 2 SEE FROM U N GOT DEAR" do you want to consider a possibility that the post is humour, and this is not so much a metamorphosis as a clarification for your understanding? Like I said before. LISTENING is an important skill.

What I do admire now about you is that regardless of the roundabout way you went about doing it, you did manage to become polite and willing to see manisha in a different light. That takes guts, and I applaud you for it.

June 13, '08

manisha_bhattacharya said:
Hey Birenji!! That's another perspective. Faith being the foundation of a relationship I mean! Now you've given Mr. Loverpoint another person to learn from!!

June 13, '08

BIREN1237 said:
In reality likeing eachone not depend upon attraction bt on faith.faith is the basic factor which build stronge relation n continue 4ever in life .faith never seem colour.caste,age,sex n beauty bt want 2 see always ur inner beauty which reflect on ur thought n regard.
Now mr loverpoint u say here she is my frnd yaa dear she is my frnd n feel proud more after see these lines made her more respectable also.
Dear she hv a lot of talent used 4 both fun n views.so if some word not suit u take as fun dear n rest as reality which u feel pleasant.no one is pefect here bt trully i feel she has a treanmdous thoght n feeling which always consider before making any point of argue.
now 4 both hhhahhahahhhahahhhhahh

thnks dear
And now req all please see her this 100%true approach 2ward men.without this quality the man never count as man.i agree it.
please no personal comments here only enjoy .

June 13, '08

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