Posted on: Jun 12, '08
Chennai's Traffic Rules...
A few weeks ago, M.S.Dhoni was riding his super bikes in Chennai and has gone on records saying that Chennai traffic is bad.
Poor Dhoni, he didn’t know the Traffic Rules, that are prevalent in Chennai City for decades and every Chennaite knows ‘em all and meticulously follow all the rules.
Let me throw some light on the Chennai Driving Rules:
(Stationary Warning: Please be reminded that these are not exhaustive rules and you will have to follow any other such rules that get implemented by the road users of this city at the time of your driving and Chennai's traffic police department takes no responsibility for following or not following these rules and any consequences or non-consequences thereof).
Let me start with the most basic form of transportation – the pedestrians.
Pedestrian Rules:
1. The Road Belongs to You.
2. Walk in the middle of the road, move to the side only when the vehicle behind you blows horn.
3. Cross roads wherever you want to, preferably run rather than walk.
4. Wherever road dividers are built, a) break those, or b) jump over those to cross over to the other side.
5. On Zebra crossing, when the Signal is green for the vehicles, stand up to half of the road, allowing the other half for the vehicles to pass through.
6. When the signal turns red, run to the median and run to the other half.
7. Never miss the chance to cross during the signal change-over time. Time is Precious.
Two Wheeler Rules:
1. The Road Belongs to You.
2. Ride the bike at its maximum speed wherever you are.
3. Keep the helmet on the petrol tank, or hang it at the back or side. There are special fitting kits available in the market for this purpose. Never wear helmet on your head.
4. Always ride between other vehicles. Each lane is supposed to have one 4-wheeler, one 2-wheeler and 1 bicycle - on roads and at the traffic signal junctions.
5. When the signal is red, squeeze through the gaps between cars and go to the front as far as possible. If required ride on the platforms to reach there.
6. If there is no divider, go through the other half of the road, reach the front traffic island area in front of everyone else.
7. If there is a divider, plan your path ahead, pass through the other side to reach the traffic island.
8. Fit the loudest horns on your bikes and keep them blaring when you cruise along the roads. Everyone should know that you are riding a bike.
9. At junctions, you have the right to turn where you want to, no matter in which lane you are. Just Turn. That’s the rule.
10. Do not fix rear view mirrors. If they come with the bike, do not see them. This might divert your attention from the music you are listening, which could be dangerous.
11. When you are entering from a side road to the main road, DO NOT see to your right for oncoming vehicles. Just enter, turn and go at the same speed.
12. When you are in the middle lane and want to turn left or right, just turn, with horns blowing full steam.
13. When the mobile phone rings, take it even if you are riding the bike. Answer the call, meantime, keep going. If the signal is red, just stop wherever you are and talk. You may stop and talk even if you are on the first lane or on a bridge.
14. If you have a girl (doesn’t necessarily have to be pretty) sitting behind you, imagine you are on racetrack while driving.
15. At signals, whenever there are no vehicles passing in the other direction, just cross, though your signal is red.. Don’t waste petrol in idling.
Three Wheeler Rules:
1. The Road Belongs to You.
2. Turn wherever you want to. At traffic signal, if you are on the left and you want to go right, just inch your nose through and block the vehicle to your right. When the signal turns green, pass him and turn right.
3. Do not fix rear view mirrors. If those are there, do not see them.
4. If you want to take passenger or drop a passenger, just stop and do so.
5. Also rules 3 – 12 of 2 wheelers are applicable.
6. Load your vehicle to the maximum capacity. Only way to save fuel for the nation. Move at 10 kmph on the fast lane. Everyone knows the proverb “The Herd Moves As Fast As The Slowest Buffalo”.
Four Wheeler Rules
1. The Road Belongs to You. (As you can see, this rule applies to everyone using the road, of course…)
2. Turn side view Mirrors Inwards.
3. Keep hand-bags, groceries packets, Bunny Rabbits, Cushion pillows at the back below the screen. Use the storage area effectively. That helps you not to see the rear view mirror. Seeing rear view mirror could be dangerous.
4. Always look only in your front and drive on. At traffic signal, whichever lane you are on, slowly inch your nose beyond the next vehicle’s nose and turn a bit to block him. This will help you to turn to the desired direction, stopping the other vehicle.
5. Even when the signal turns red, keep going, until the vehicles from the other direction start moving and blocking your way.
6. In case of traffic jam, use the opposite side road and block the traffic going the other way. How they can go free when we are struck in traffic jam?
Female Driving Rules:
(These are additional rules for 4 wheelers)
1. The Road Belongs only to You and there are no other vehicles on the road.
2. Do not turn your head left or right while driving. Your head must turn always in unison with the Handle-bar in case of two-wheelers and with the steering wheel in case of a car.
3. Always have dark film affixed to your car windscreens and windows. Others must not see you and you don’t have to see outside anyway except in the front.
4. Keep your child standing in front of you in a scooter. As a safety measure, you may tie the child up with you using your Duppatta, (like a safety belt).
5. When you are going straight and missed a turn to the right or left, just stop, back up (reverse) and turn. Don’t worry the traffic will sincerely obey you.
6. Park wherever you want to, others know how to go around your car.
7. When you want to park the car on the side of the road, pull over, stop and step out of the car. DO NOT look behind for oncoming vehciles or people. Keep talking on the mobile phone, cross the road and reach the other side and continue to your destination.
8. Adjust your make over at traffic signals. Do not move until you finish the touch ups.
Now, M.S.Dhoni obviously wasn’t aware of these rules that Chennai’s road users are strictly following. Of course, Chennai is one of the most educated cities in India and what else you expect other than strict compliance or Rules…!!!
My Dear Dhoni, before you kick your super bike next time in Chennai, please follow these rules, just as every educated individual in Chennai are following.
Tags: traffic, chennai, dhoni, bikes
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