Wanna befriend the Goddess - Survival Guide

This is sooooo not fair. These guys at fropper wish for us to be civil. *sigh* I guess this means atomizing people who piss me off is something I should keep to a minimum.

Now folks, really, what can a goddess do, when mortals forget their place at the bottom of the food chain and insist on putting their heads on my cutting board? I never claimed to be harmless. Really, read all I've ever said - not once.

In spite of clearly stating that meaningless friendship invites mean zilch to me, my inbox is flooded with them. Really, what makes you think that you're going to be the exception?

Newsflash folks, I'm choosy, and you're ordinary. I eat mortals everyday, but that doesn't mean I make friends with them (I do befriend my mug of tea though before I drink it, but that is going off the track and it doesn't help you unless you're tea).

Really, if you are so keen to worship at my altar and survive the experience, I've got the latest survival guide for you, before you make me allergic to you.

Rule no 1

The goddess is short tempered and dislikes repeating herself. When her profile states clearly that she ignores all invites that don't evolve from meaningful interaction, she means exactly that.

Rule no 2

Meaningful interaction doesn't happen in my scrapbook. Crapping in the scrapping space is the shortcut to disfavour. Meaningful interaction requires subject matter, and is therefore likely to happen more on blogs, unless you are commenting on my profile, which is another shortcut to disfavour unless its praise.

Rule no 3

What you want means shit to me if I don't know you. Therefore, don't expect me to hit the accept button with tears of gratitude in my eyes just because you want to make friends with me. I got loads of friends interested in what I want and have no need for those who begin with parking their desires on me.

Rule no 4

If you require a guide to tell you what normal courtesy should, you're not worthy of the Goddess in any case.

Rule no 5

Follow the above rules religiously, and we'll see.

Insider information: The Goddess is more tolerant of strangers and idiots in comments than in scraps. You may wish to play safe.

Tags: the goddess speaks

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