Posted on: Jun 26, '08
The Devil's dictionary
This is not just another 'Bambaiya tapori language made easy' blog post. Just want to give you a glimpse into the world I spent my formative years in. We spoke such weird language. This was in a publishing house, so don't expect anything decent out of there. Khee khee khee.
Anyway, we had certain terms that were used most often; they weren't abusive, really, but you might want to reconsider some of these words before they were spoken in a cultured and high-strung milieu.
Apologies for hurting the sentiments of Meghna Naidu and Rakhi Sawant fans.
Tartola from tart-land: (noun) Basically a tramp. Anyone dressed in a fashion that her arrival was accompanied by a 'cheap cheap' beep. For example, Meghna Naidu of Kaliyon ka chaman... and erm a movie called Hawas. This is our favourite term. We got to use this ample number of times given we covered entertainment and page 3 parties.
Sluttola from Slutland: (noun) Similar to her tartola counterpart, a loud and garish tramp dressed to evoke cheap thrills. The Rakhi Sawant kinds. She's a notch below tartola when it comes to decency. Can be seen on the arms of a new man every new time.
Sorry, boys, wanted to put 'better' pictures of both the good ladies but Fropper wouldn't let me. So, blame censors instead of censuring me.
Can't tell you with what great difficulty I found Rakhi's pic that would meet the terms and conditions here! Two pics got rejected. Khee khee khee.
Himbo: (n) Of course, we didn't invent the word. But we used it liberally for the male bimbos, the d-uh cutiepies, could be a muscleman but dumb nevertheless. Especially when they gave us boring, monosyllabic and diplomatic interviews. For whom everything was so goodie goodie.
I know a lot of himbos around on Fropper. But it's rude to call names. *Chuckles*
Hideous Hidimba: (n) Ok, she isn't anything like the tartola or sluttola. She is basically anyone with looks that could kill. Women who looked like they walked straight out of the studio after auditioning for Bhooton ka Honeymoon. These days I think Amy Winehouse looks like it. Amy, baby, we still love you!
Apologies to Amy Winehouse (nice last name) fans.
Doodh pav - (Adj) A variant of plain vanilla or anything that wasn't spicy. Interviews were doodh pav. Looks and clothes for photo shoots were doodh pav. And we were always asked to spice it up. Sigh.
Chaalu chapati - (n) Anyone cunning or even a smart ass. This is my personal fav term. Heeee. "She's a chaalu chapati. Wait till his career is in dumps; she'll dump him for a bigger fish."
Humpty Dumpty - (n) Humped and dumped... f***ed and forgotten. I coined this phrase. "Poor thing. He did a humpty dumpty on her."
Fultoo fataak - (Adj) Full on. 'Kya fultoo fataak lag rahi hai?' Also when we were ready to sign the pages off. The artists would ask, 'bhej doon kya?' And I'd say, 'Bilkul. Ekdum fultoo fataak hai.'
Paer rakha toh bhi chavanni pe: (v) To have poor choice or taste. Another fav or mine!
Q: If you were deserted on an island with only one man, who would it be?
A: Uday Chopra.
"Paer rakha toh bhi chavanni pe." Though I'm sure even his own girlfriend (or boyfriend) wouldn't want to be deserted on an island with him.
Tags: rakhi sawant, meghna naidu, bollywood, films, film, uday, chopra, sawant, rakhi
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