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Posted on: Jul 09, '08

Biscuit Baba drives home the solution

Sigh! I know I’m not good at using feminine wiles, but it’s never been driven home so rudely to me as after my last post “Satsangh Drive with Biscuit Baba”. Well, what I mean to say is, after exposing to the world my amazing driving skills, the least I expected was that some good Samaritan would take pity on his fellowmen and offer to drive me around, thus making Goan roads safe for humans and other animals. But what happens? Nada! Nothing!

So then I think ok, maybe I’ve been too subtle about the whole thing, and folks haven’t got the point. So I start dropping broad hints, just stopping short of hitting them with my car at 120 km.p.h. THEN what happens? Still nothing! I mean, come on yaar!?? What is this???

Finally I got tired of waiting for the spark to ignite in folks’ heads and was feeling rather sad about the whole thing. Then Biscuit Baba called!
No doubt, he could sense my dissatisfaction with the affair and realized I need some of his timely advise.

“Hello Baccha! How are you?” asked Biscuit Baba.

“Oh, I’m ok, Baba” I mumbled.

“You don’t sound like your usual self Baccha” Biscuit Baba said.

“Well Baba, I’m just mourning the Death of Social Conscience!” I replied. “Now almost everybody who counts knows how I drive, yet none of them feel inclined to offer to drive me around and make the world a safer place! People just don’t care about their fellow beings any more!” I grumbled.

“Baccha, baccha, why do you need the world to do things for you? Be self-sufficient! Be self-reliant!” Biscuit Baba said.

“How Baba? What should I do?” I asked, all perked up and agog!

“Knock down somebody with your car. Simple! After that, you’ll have lot’s of uniformed chauffeurs driving you around a lot! Even your food and accommodation will be taken care of as the regal guest of Govt. of India” Biscuit Baba said.

“Oh! Oh! WOW! What an idea Baba! It never struck me that it could be so simple!” I said, awed. Then doubt crept in. “But Baba, those uniformed chauffeurs will not take me where I want to go na? They’ll only drive me to where they are supposed to na?”

“Bachha…!! Use your ingenuity! Your charm!” Baba explained patiently. “Whenever they do drive you, you can always get them to stop enroute na? For example:
‘Oh! One minute! Juuuuust one minute please! Stop right here! I need to get my eyebrows done at this parlour here. I’ll be back in a jiffy!’
OR
‘Oh! One minute! Juuuuust one minute please! Stop right here! This place usually has good chocalates! I’ll be back in a jiffy!’
OR
‘Oh! One minute! Juuuuust one minute please! Stop right here! This is my favourite ice cream parlour! I’ll be back in a jiffy!’
Do you get the idea baccha?” Biscuit Baba asked.

“WOW! Baba, you do come up with some amazing solutions!” I said, awed.

“And you could make it a premediated… pre… whatever that awful word is!” Biscuit Baba continued. Ever since he got 1/10 in dictation in IInd standard in school, Biscuit Baba has had a deep aversion to long words. The scar of that dictation test still throbs…

“Premeditated you mean Baba?” I asked helpfully.

“Yes, that only. If it means planning before hand who to hit, then that’s the word!” Biscuit Baba said.

“But why should it be premeditated Baba?” I asked confused. “Won’t knocking down just anybody do?” One likes to be clear about such super solutions, for fear that they may not work if not done properly.

“Yes, knocking down anybody would work, Baccha, but if it is premeditated then you can also get rid of somebody you might want out of the way…” Biscuit Baba suggested.

Awed is not the word for what I felt about Biscuit Baba’s wisdom! Talk about driving home solutions!!! With multiple benefits at that!!??

However, after giving it some thought I realized that there’s no one particular person who deserves the honour of my premeditation. So I’m just sitting here behind the steering wheel, revving up the engine… will somebody come in my way?

Please?

Tags: humour

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manocarla said:
very very funny

October 05, '08

Joyze said:
LOLOLOLOL Manisha......you really have me laughing.

I will be sure to watch out for you on the road, when I come to Goa! :D

I will simply wave at any car apparently driven by a maniac, and eventually we will meet!

September 24, '08

singh007cool said:
Well, I am also in the same boat. I have just bought a new car & applied for a licence.
Why don't we drive our cars straight against each other, instead of hitting some innocent person?
Anyhow, a nice blog by you. Keep it up..

September 03, '08

KD2Cool said:
5 STARS

August 30, '08

KD2Cool said:
very funny one. Keep it up manisha

August 30, '08

Fun24x7 said:
very funny blog. very nice read.

August 05, '08

vidyut_strikes said:
*looks around warily, hoping Manisha's attention is elsewhere before venturing into the commenting path*

She's my friend and all that, but really, myrtyrdon....? eeek!!! not my style.

*quietly removes keys from ignition, taps Manisha on shoulder*

Nice post!

*gets the hell out of the way of the car*

August 02, '08

creativefront said:

Great post.

keep it up my friend.

August 02, '08

sparxcan said:
hi baccha,
make sure a copper does not come in front of your speeding caR or for sure you will get a GOVERMENT CHAUFFER to drive you from the cell to court regularly. hee hee, jus kiddin
tc, good writing???

July 26, '08

yar1976 said:
Hi..achha likha he.

July 22, '08

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