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Posted on: Jul 21, '08

Why I think boys don't always have it easy!

When I was in college, mostly all feminism debates revolved around one thing - guys always have it easy. I always found it rather amusing that most girls had only one issue, that guys got to stay out late and girls had to come home early. That's the least of a problem! And I think it has as much to do with girls' safety than the prestige issue. How many times do you hear of a guy getting raped, after all? And mostly girls get scared even if a lone wimpy drunk follows them, would they put up a fight if a gang showed up? If the answer is no, then girls better shut it about the bias!

Anyway, there are a few things that I think guys don't have it as easy as girls about. A job, for one. For guys it's a necessity but for a girl it can be a choice. I mean, how many times are guys given a choice of working or not working after getting married or even before that? Even if the wife earns a lot, no one ever says the guy doesn't need to work because there is enough money. In fact, the guy is expected to earn even more! Yeah, now there are a few cases where guys are homemakers and women earn but those are still few and far between.

I got thinking about this because of my brother actually. He is the youngest one but just because after my dad passed away he is the only man (I pity him for that. Sometimes he has to deal with five women alone - mom, we three sisters and Pari) he is expected to perform like a superhero. He was 21 when we lost our dad and ALL my uncles and relatives almost killed him with all the gyaan and expectations. He has to look after the three of us . I mean, excuse me? We can take care of ourselves without burdening him. I'm glad he didn't need to take them seriously.

Also, maybe it's not quite nice on my part, I was secretively relieved I'm not a guy because I didn't have to do things my brother had to. My father had a sudden death. So my brother had to rush dad to the hospital, hassle with the post mortem report, go to the police station, back to the hospital to get the body home and stuff. (Dad had a natural death, but a moron of a doctor wrote cause of death unknown, which made it a police case for no rhyme or reason). And the rituals were even more traumatic. He had to do everything, unlike us girls. I had never seen him so harrowed before and he couldn't do a thing about it! My sis and I started going to work after four days; I couldn't take it anymore, sitting at home. I could escape but not him because since he had to do asthi visarjan and all, he wasn't allowed to go out for 13 days. That's a whole 9 days more than I sat home. And I just cannot imagine how he dealt with it. I've had this thing in my mind all these years now.

Why I'm writing this now is because of an incident on Saturday night. There was a snakelet in our house. I wasn't home at that time. And my bro had to struggle for half an hour to catch the slithering dude and catch it he did. Well, the watchman chose to chicken out and it was night time so we couldn't call anyone else. Now, usually elders do the protecting bit but since my bro is the man in the family, even though he is the youngest one it was his duty to get the snake. Not that he has it, but what if he had a phobia or something or even if he was plain scared like the watchman. No, that wouldn't do! And anyway, guys have this expectation from themselves too. My bro would never let any of us women anywhere near danger. Obviously one because he cares for us so much but also because he is a guy so it's a given that he has to stick his neck out.

That's it. Now I'm tired. Your thoughts on this? Even though this post is pro men, male bashing is still more than welcome. *Chuckles*

Tags: gender bias, men, women, guys, feminism

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Forbidden2007 said:
Kuddos for your understanding!!..

July 23, '08

manisha_bhattacharya said:
Great post Dhaval!

July 22, '08

Sunshine_Is_Here said:
Yes, having been through the same (my dad's sudden demise n my bro forced to take up a job at 16), I do see ur point. Infact, there are times when I seriously get so angry with God to put both of them (2 bros)through so much..
I had the choice to quit my serious profession when I wanted to...but the brothers? They're slogging it out just the same...Nobody has it easy, is my belief !

July 22, '08

Bharathselvan said:
i have always been telling that women have two choice.one be a housewife or go to a job. for men it is a necessity to go to a job. Jobe is a symbol of man. as regards snake i am surprised to note that there are snakes even in mumbai. i always carry a herbal based antidote for snake bite. doing research on this subject(toxicology) also which is long pending.

July 22, '08

metalhead2006TAU said:
damn rite!!

July 22, '08

geetsudha said:
very nice post.i think men and women both work hard coz life is not easy.some exceptions are everywhere,like ur brother had to take this responsibility so early,bless him.

July 22, '08

oliveintl said:
what is more horrifying ---than being pushed into religios customs for 13 days for no fault of yours......... somehow i'm not able to digest that part still.......

very wonderfully written blog...plain superb

July 22, '08

earmarkedfortrouble said:
Tut! TUTTTT!!!!
Here Aiye bee sitting; awaiting a bit of a bashing N; U gals; just bee talkings abouts itt; widout even 'touching' zee subject!!!!!
JUST Yak YAk YAKKETING ABOUTS ITT!!!!
GGGRRRRRRIIINNNNNNN
pppsssttttt: That bee zee reason Dhaval Beta; that Aiye bee blocked!!!!!
FER AIYE KOULD NOTS BEE 'DONE INN'....

July 21, '08

sanju_0101 said:
BUT IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME.

July 21, '08

sridhara55 said:
lovely babes are spared, heavy hunks have to catch up with the hard odd jobs....Gender bias, dear.....Men, particularly young men, you slog hard....no accolades please.

July 21, '08

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