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Posted on: Jul 25, '08


 DEVIKA PART 1

THIS IS A STORY...BUT NOT FICTION, A REALITY...CRUEL, SO NEEDS TO BE HANDLED CAREFULLY. I TRIED TO CUT IT SHORT BUT WOULD BE AN INJUSTICE MET TO A GIRL, DEVIKA WHOSE NAME I HAVE CHANGED, BUT SHE IS ALIVE LIKE ALL OF US.....

SO I AM FORCED TO PRESENT HER STORY IN PARTS....PLZ BEAR WITH ME.....

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As Aakash walked into his office today, expecting it to be as drab as usual, he could hear strange noise spread all over and everyone around him in his team, looking mesmerized with a strange trance of love however the source of that enchanting spasm was still unknown to him. He could sense there could be a new entrant, a new female, a new chic must have joined in today.

Sounds spicy??? …the chase game on the boulevard of fantasizing dreams and crashing realities is again on, he spotted that new girl the next moment, that dazzling queen among his team of all young men. He felt a strong rebellion inside him, trying to rip him apart. 

Did she really mean to work there …a girl, must have been just in her early 20s, dressed lazily, putting on a sleeveless pink frock with a white belt that made her look all childish. Her curly hair was combed into two knots with a butterfly pin on each side, the only thing visible in the most natural appearance were two round eyes on her face covered with layers of foundation, mascara and lipstick. He really had a strong desire to yell at her that she looked all overdressed and in fact vulgar and perhaps it would be a good idea to tone down her appearance a bit, but he kept mum, thinking it would be held for all the FUN wrecked to pieces.

Some how, she had sensed what was passing through Aakash's mind. Sounding apologetic she said that she had never thought that she would be joining a professional group like this. So from next day, she would try to look more sensible. Aakash really felt ashamed. She had proven to be far more magnanimous than what she looked like.

He softly asked her name. She was Devika, and as she opened her mouth, he felt as if she is a dream, half asleep, half awake as in a trance. And a dream had already landed in his eyes from somewhere forcing him to fall in love with her. He could hear himself singing, “My princess in snow white, my heart will sing my love to you, every night.” He looked more confused with a frown on his forehead but a smile plastered on his lips. He reluctantly uttered the phrase, “ Welcome to my team Devika”.

Everyday, he looked at her. Confined in one of the thousands of workstations, Aakash could really feel as if life peeping at him whenever she looked up from the workstation diagonally opposite him.

Devika was very efficient and reliable and soon became an important part of the team. As days grew into weeks, she thawed a little and started smiling at him more often. In one of those relaxed moments, Aakash finally gathered guts to ask her out for coffee. She agreed and one coffee break soon became lunch meetings and dinner dates.

Whenever Aakash tried to wade into personal waters, Devika used to withdraw into her shell and refused to see him until he convinced her again. He could see a smile on her face but it wasn’t relief. It was a troubled smile as if she wanted to tell him that she hasn’t been convinced yet. Or was it something else?? Did she want to tell him something?? She was attracted to him but what was it that was holding her back.

That day Aakash decided to overcome his own insecurities and proposed marriage to her. A smile reached her face unable to hold the sudden surge of happiness that ran in her heart but she nodded in refusal. He was confused as he frowned. Devika looked shocked as if in pain. 

Aakash was angry for a moment. Why can’t she behave like a grown up woman?? But his anxiety for her wellbeing overrode his anger and he softly asked her what was that which threatened her. She walked away leaving behind a cruel silence. The next day she did come to work, walked straight to him, and asked him out for lunch! He wanted to say no, show her that he was angry but something in her face told him this wasn’t time for games. They went out and over lunch she told him that she wanted to tell him about her past.

To be continued……….



Tags: man, woman, love, relationship, marriage, past




Comments  [ 78 Comments ] [ Post your comment | Subscribe (?) ]


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apple000 said:
thank you for sharing

August 12, '08


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govind2414 said:
hi sumi,ur story n ur way of writing is very very super...

July 30, '08


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sun9009 said:


July 30, '08


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Sunthie62 said:
interesting....

July 30, '08


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Sunshine_Is_Here said:
Loved it absolutely Sumedha...

July 30, '08


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BrainyBakra said:
Interesting
Will read the next part now



July 28, '08


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notjustart said:
So far, so good Sumi...

The narrative is fine, flowing well, doesn't gfive any hiccups to the reader. Better put, flows like the wine...crystal clear and simple. To write in simple narrative is often difficult, believe me!

And don't think so much about how long or short the story should be or would be...leave that part to your instinct as a writer. Just keep flowing in the trance of it. Does not mean one must not plan a story. But not to fall in the trap of any limits or bounderies, that's for sure. I didn't have time to reach for a pack of So you can imagine how engrossed I must have been. I will read part two now...

July 27, '08


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jag666 said:
Let no one be discouraged by the belief that there is nothing one man or one woman can do against the enormous array of the world's ills -- against misery and ignorance, injustice and violence... Few will have the greatness to bend history itself; but each of us can work to change a small portion of events, and in the total of all those acts will be written the history of this generation

July 27, '08


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Forbidden2007 said:
Good writing!..awaiting the suspense! :-)

July 27, '08


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culguy_143 said:

superb n amazing starting

i thnk its nt a love story
its a family story,a society story,a company story,a group story!

its nt d story between devika n aakash,its a story between boy n gal,love n frndshp.......


its my thinking n wt u thnk abt my thinking tell me.....waiting 4 ur answer.

July 27, '08

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