As each day passes the hurts of yesterday should fade.  With each sunrise is the promise of a fresh start.  However, as each day starts and the sun rises to its beauty the hurts assimilate into a new pattern,  They invade my mind starting from a song or a sentence or even a letter.  Many say forget about the past and move on.  Yet I have yet to find one person on this planet to tell me exactly step by step how to do so.

Be a good person and good things will come to you was my childhood belief.  From deep within I still believe this.  Yet today its hard to understand why I believe this.  Blind faith.  A faith which has no face or form but places boundaries around me , preventing me from doing things which are deemed immoral or not right.  At the same time my soul screams at me telling me that with each day I am wasting the present.  With each negative thought I am chosing to not live but only remember.

All these thoughts inside swirling like a tornado in my head.  The main thought that of loving and losing.  Of all the billions of people to chose to love I picked the devil himself.  I thought I was so smart and such a good judge of character.  While loving I lost my character....became stupid to the utter meaning of the word.

Its true what they say love is blind...its also deaf and dumb....Actually its an illusion.  Doesnt exist.  What a woman feels for a man is usally sacrifice and that which a man feels for a woman is lust.

Just see this net so many are there wanting to find the prettiest or most handsome to love....Its all in a picture.  Only later will one realize that in the face only lies what you want to find...its the heart where the true person resides.  I wonder how many people understand this.

I am bitter and mad as hell.....I still dont know why I am punished with all of these feelings...But I know God exists and he will avenge these tears....but when Lord?  

I am sorry if you feel confused...actually I am more confused than you.

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