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Posted on: Oct 02, '08


 ANGER.... BREATHE IN .. BREATHE OUT

We all know what anger is .We have all felt it whether as a fleeting annoyance or as a full fledged "Rage". It is a normal emotion but when it gets out control and turns destructive, it can lead to problems and you are at the mercy of unpredictable and powerful emotion.The trick is to control anger before it controls you. All people's dispositions are not the same,some are angrier than the others. They are born grumpy.. sorry to say it. They have low tolerance for frustration and can't take every day annoyances in stride.Some people like their angry side as for some reason their rage makes them powerful. Sorry men, that is where you come in , sorry to say but the study shows that men feel "Macho" by expressing their anger as it makes them feel powerful and dominant.

But there are dark sides of this emotion if it is not controled ..Physical and social sides. Problems .. such as Ulcers and Heart attack.People who reached to stress with anger are 5 times more likely to have a heart attack even with or without a family history...Social life will be effected too... people will be either afraid to talk to you or stay away as far as they could. so how do you keep it under control People say it is nonsense you can't control it because it just happens and one can not redirect this powerful emotion ..but you are wrong you can redirect it Redirecting means simply changing the way when you think when you are angry Your thinking can get exaggerated and overly dramatic,but   by replacing it with "normal" words.you can put it to proper channel. . For instance, instead of telling yourself "oh it is awful .. it is terrible .. every thing is ruined... Tell yourself .. it is frustrating and it is understandable that I am upset about it but this is not the end of the world. and getting angry is not going to fix it. 

If you are angry with someone or in a fiery discussion .. slow down and think about what you are angry about? It also helps to listen to other person Listening will help you form a careful response . If you do this , you may even discover the underlying problem

Here are some tips to respond to anger situations. 
1- Step back and breathe. Count to ten before you say or do anything and be mindful of your breathing. If you still dont feel calm do it again and again.

2--  Go for a wallk in the fresh air. Walking in the fresh air is always a productive outlet for your emotion., besides releasing pent up energy your general physical feeling will improve Yoga breathing is also beneficial to calm you down. Take a deep breath from your stomach and release it through mouth slowly and keep saying in your mind,"you are calm and collective.

3- Imagine a calm and relaxing scene. Remember the time when you felt calm and at peace. close your eyes and travel back there. Allow yourself to be there for a while and feel yourself release. 

4- Empathize with the other person.
Try to see the situation from his/her point of view. 
Remember there is always more than one way to see things. 

5- Use "I" statements.. when talking about the problem or situation instead of criticizing or blaming the other person.... "I am upset that the kitchen didn't get cleaned after dinner" ..instead of "why is the kitchen still a mess" 
or "you should have cleaned it".

6- stop brooding or stewing... Mind talk is a major anger signal and one of the most destructive things you can do it to yourself. 
Rage starts when you loose control of your thoughts or feelings. 

YOU agree with me or disagree ,,, I need your opinion either way... Thanks.





Tags: anger management




Comments  [ 39 Comments ] [ Post your comment | Subscribe (?) ]


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rajeev-on said:
nice advice and suggestions ... good blog

October 12, '08


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milan_48 said:
Ha baba,
Tum joh kahe rahi ho woh shai hai.


October 06, '08


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Ike41 said:
Dear Lailla,
1. Generally agree on most points, however, it is also harmful to keep anger bottled up & accumalate feelings against others. Hence, if anger is releasd once in a blue moon it will instead be helpful to one's health. Anger doesn't man that one loses control over oneself but annoyance is reflected in the responce & the other perso registers your emotions. He will thereafter be careful.
2. Also, to display no anger whatsoever, not rage by ay stretch of imagination, may at times be viewed/considered a sign of weakness by colleagues, have personal experience of this & when I did get angry on a occasion later they behaved properly thereafter. Yes, one's calmness when some get angry, is a big plus point as one can the control the situation getting out of control. So, these are 2 sides of the coin.
3. Ur suggestion are pragmatic & would be of great help when practised. Am sure many would benefit. Philospher, friend & guide, congrats, keep coming up such thoughtfuls.

October 06, '08


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Pagal-Bhoot said:
budhu rai ab tum mujh pe gussa mat karna iske hisab se....
hehehe 5 stars fir se...

October 05, '08


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eternalessencefoever said:
grt post, but once in a while venting out is really imp. just scream, blast music, hit a punching bag, just jog, anything that can giv u some relief!!
awesome post Laila

October 05, '08


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BrainyBakra said:
Cute Angelie

What a soothing blog.

Controlling anger has many benefits. But venting it has benefits too. We get great relief.

I just close my car windows and put on music at full and scream. It lessens stress as much as a huge laugh.

Anger is only one letter short of danger

Lets be nice citizens and good humans




October 04, '08


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harsh7901 said:
how can i not agree laila.... i mean all the points mentioned r worth it...as for me i prefer the heart attack route.. i've heard its sudden..less painful n less burdening on dependants too... ha ha ha...joking girl... of course one should control the anger.... n the first method where one steps back n takes deep breathe seems to be the best...especially if its done by a young well gifted gal... it will make me calm and collective too...
again joking... can't help it at times..
jokes apart girl.. its indeed a very good post..

October 04, '08


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yashmeet135 said:
It's easy to get hopping mad. Anything can set off anger—your spouse forgot to pick up the kids at school, your co-worker is making life at the office miserable, or your flight to Atlanta has been cancelled. Of course, worrying, feeling hurt or even recalling unpleasant memories can also result in anger. In fact, any number of difficulties, both big and small, can ignite fury.

Certainly, some people are naturally angrier than others. They're just born grumpy. These people have a low tolerance for frustration; they can't take everyday annoyances in stride. And then there are people who like their angry side; their rage makes them feel powerful.

October 04, '08


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manu5248 said:
You are 100 percent correct dear.but i would like to add a bit that root cause is "igo".If that is kept a side most of the problems will not arise at all........Thanks alot once again for your sincere effort...........

October 03, '08


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Bharti2105 said:
Hello friend,
excellent msg whitch must be follow to not get anger.

October 03, '08

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