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Posted on: Oct 15, '08

Your Opinion Please! - 2

Hi friends,

For last several days I am suppressing my interest in knowing your opinion. This is because I am hesitating whether to tell my life story or not. I am hesitant because after reading you may react in a different way which may hurt me. I am hesitant because after reading you may ill treat me which is more than death for me. But I am unable to suppress ... I could not dare to say my story to real life friends. But I should share my tragic story with at least one friend. Therefore I opted internet to share my story to virtual friends. Sneha said many good people exist in net; they will express their true feelings. So I am here to say about my story.

I am Sucharita, 27 year old, came from very decent family located in Visakhapatnam of Andhra Pradesh. My both parents are teachers. They always taught me on good conduct. I am also obedient child to them. Starting from childhood I was like bookworm, got distinctions in all classes. After finishing degree, I got job in multinational company with good salary package. But that job didn't change my basic nature i.e., respecting our traditions and moral values. I wear salwar-kameez. Never tried cheap tricks like exposing body and flirting with boys. In degree college or in our office, boys hesitate to pass comments on me.

The same boys I saw commenting other girls very frequently. The boys whoever came in touch with me respected me a lot. Now you can understand my behavior.

Now let me come to the actual point...
My parents are in search of suitable groom for me. They selected one boy who is working as a software engineer in California. He came to India for a short trip in which he wants to select a girl, marry and take her to US. Before his arrival his parents selected few girls and sent their photos to this boy. Out of that bunch of photos he filtered few and said YES to them. After reaching India he will check all the girls for whom he gave YES mark and finalize one as his life partner.
My photo was in YES category. His parents and my parents discussed all matters and both parties were happy. One fine day Boy landed in India. And another fine day he visited our home. As prior information was given about his visit, I was decorated like a doll. He came and after talking to me for few minutes, he said he wants to talk to me separately in the beach. My parents agreed. Next day I went along with him to beach. First half an hour he said so many thing related to US. I listened to every word carefully and talked whenever he asked something about me and my parents. Later he moved close to me. I felt inconvenience but didn’t express my feelings. While talking he moved still close to me by keeping his hand around my body. I felt it unbearable. He may become my husband but now he is not my husband.
How can I allow this sort of closeness before marriage? I decided to say feelings but with calm voice. I don’t want to hurt him because I am feeling him as my would be husband. But I never cross limits. Before me saying this strange thing happened. All of a sudden he bent me and kissed me. I felt it as a devil act, pushed him away.
Tears rolling over my cheeks I said “I don’t like before marriage.”
That’s it. He said “You…shit”.
Then he got up and vanished in his car leaving me alone in the beach.
Later my parents received the information that I am not a suitable match.

How much I cried in nights I don’t know. I could not understand what mistake I did. His last words roared in my ears for several days.
I shared my feelings with my close friend in office.
She said “Suchie…You should change as per the modern trend in the society. Nowadays boys are preferring girls who mingles with them very freely. If you hang with those old traditions, you will never get a suitable match.”
These words made an impressive effect on me. I started realizing some thing wrong on my side. So, I decided to mingle with my would-be husband.

After six months, my parents found another suitable groom. He too was working as software engineer but in Infosys located in Hyderabad.
After his parents and my parents discussed, he spoke to me few words.
Then he asked my parents for talking to me separately. They agreed and sent both of us to a separate room. There he was saying about his official status and future plans. While talking we both were standing.
He told me “Let us sit.”
I sat in the sofa; he too sat in the same sofa. I realized the his next move. As I didn’t wish to loose that match, decided not to disappoint him. Any way he is going to be my husband. Nothing wrong in moving close with him. I prayed God and with shivering body, moved close to him.
He stood up as if he met with a shock and said “Don’t behave like a whore!” He left the room leaving me alone.
His parents said “we will inform you later”.
Later when my parents enquired them, they “we are not interested in your match.”

You may not understand at what shock this incident threw me into.
He called me WHORE.
When I didn’t agree to move close, first one called me SHIT.
When I decided to move close, the second one called me WHORE.
Where I went wrong I am unable to understand.
I don’t know whether I am worthy for living or not.
I wish to listen to your opinions on my nature.
I wish to learn what is lacking in my behavior.

regards
Sucharita

Tags: sneha, nature, love

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myanandzone said:
mam ue were not wrng but thy both were wrng in thr thught's itself so forget thm n move ahead in life n belive one ting watevr happens happens for good... so move on wid life...

November 23, '08

chandresh6333 said:

November 15, '08

Chitrajlp said:
...2.
At the same time I would not say that their action was not correct. Men are imapatient always. Some are more impatient. It is quite natural for them to behave like that. Turn down politely and communicate clearly about your perception. Some think sensibly and some don't. Few may even like you if you behave the first way. Girls are more aware and sensible mostly. Some boys are also equally sensible. It is unfortunate that on both the occassions you happened to meet the typical boys. Now don't brood and waste your time and energy. Some one else has been waiting for you! Be happy Sucharitha. God Bless You. You are you. Don't change. Keep smiling.

November 09, '08

Chitrajlp said:
Sorry dear. Of late I have not been regular in Fropper. This is a typical problem. Never regret your up bringing.Just be what you are. Both of them do not deserve you. There is nothing wrong with you. Something wrong with them - attitude. Like some other friend said you take this as a lesson. The first one - very natural reaction. Quite typical of a girl from repectable family back ground. Second time I personally feel, that there was no necessity for you to adapt. You lost your thinking power.It is not the same person. Different individuals' perceptions would be different.What is right for me may be wrong for some one self. So I should change if I am wrong.When you know you are right then you should never change but learn definitely. Just erase the unpleasant memories. Be your natural self.If you feel what you did is correct then do not justify. Say "I am like this. Accept or reject". Trust is the fundamental thing in any relationship. (More to come)...2

November 09, '08

Titan71CAP said:
BE THYSELF. GOD WILLING YOU WILL FIND YOUR WORTHY MATCH.

October 25, '08

ri242 said:
Sucharita
You are a good girl. What you lack is awareness about how the world is. There is a saying..just because you are a vegetarian there is no guarantee the tiger will not gobble you up...you got to keep your eyes and ears open all the time else you will end up feeling hurt by unthinking, immature men.

Be yourself. Follow your heart and do what you think is right and feel comfy. Neither of the dudes deserve you! Don't lose your sleep over them or wallow in self pity. Am sure your prince in shining armour is on his way! Best wishes!

October 22, '08

lovely6841 said:
hi this is infactual state of mind. before trying to understand the other person if you jump into your own conclusion this type treatment is predicted,in public many characters are there first study them well then open your mind this will make your attempt acceptable

October 21, '08

Undishonoured said:
Simple solutions are tension-free. Complicated ones, lead us into depths of misery. We are what our parents brought us to be. Whether we followed them or not, depends on external forces which guide us. Whether we are right or wrong, only time will, sometimes ruthlessly, tell us. We have to use, both our minds and also our hearts, to search for what we think and believe, is truth. This will help us in taking the right step, God willing !

October 21, '08

unflappable said:
Sneha-two or more wrongs doesn,t make a right.Since both were wrong.Ideally the girl should have rejected them.There are better grooms around -Search carefully and yes say no the first time u want to-

October 19, '08

rosline said:

October 19, '08

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