Indian History Rewritten

While surfing I came across this masterpiece ‘Indian History : Supposedly written by a schoolboy with all original spellings’. Excerpts from the original are shared here and the full version can be viewed at http://www.imserba.com/forum/showthread.php?t=85179 

There have been posts deriding the misuse/ abuse of English language. My friends with finer sensibilities to the language and finicky for historical details are warned to read it at their own risk and no responsibility of any untoward event w.r.t  your existing knowledge, sense of history, language, etc lies with the person posting it. 

In case you are fmiliar with the original piece, I apologise and regret wasting your time.

Excerpts
The original inhabitants of ancient India were called Adidases, who lived in two cities called Hariappa and Mujhe-na-Daro. These cities had the best drain system in the world and so there was no brain drain from them. 

A myth is a female moth. A collection of myths is called mythology, which means stories with female caricatures.

In olden times there were two big families in India. One was called the Pandava and the other was called the Karova. They fought amongst themselves in a battle called Mahabharat, after which India came to be known as Mera Bharat Mahan.

In midevil times India was ruled by the Slave Dienasty.

Then came the Tughlaqs who shifted their capital from Delhi because of its pollution.

They were followed by the Mowglis. The greatest Mowgli was Akbar because he extinguished himself on the battlefield of Panipat which is in Hurryana. 

But his son Jehangir was peace loving; he married one Hindu wife and kept 300 porcupines.

Shahajahan who had 14 sons. Family planning had not been invented at that time. He also built the Taj Mahal hotel for his wife who now sleeps there.

Orangezip came to Bombay to fight Shivaji. However,after that they changed its name to Mumbai because Shivaji’s sena did not like it.

After the Mowglis came Vasco the Gama. He was an exploder who was circumcising India with a 100 foot clipper.

Then came the British. They brought with them many inventions such as cricket, tramtarts and steamed railways.

They were followed by the French who brought in French fries, pizzazz and laundry. But Robert Clive drove them out when he deafened Duplex who was out membered since the British had the queen on their side. 

The British overruled India for a long period.They were great expotents and impotents. They started expoting salt from India and impoting cloth. This was not liked by Mahatma Gandhi who wanted to produce his own salt. This was called the Swedish moment. During this moment, many people burnt their lion cloths in the street and refused to wear anything else. The British became very angry at this and stopped the production of Indian testiles. 

In 1920, Mahatma Gandhi was married to one wife. Soon after he became the father of the nation. In 1942 he started the Quiet India moment, so named because the British were quietly lootoing our country. 

India became free and its people became freely loving. This increased our population. 

Our constipation is the best in the world because it says that no man can be hanged twice for the same crime. It also says you cannot be put in prison if you have not paid your taxis. Another important thing about our constipation is that it can be changed. This is not possible with the British constipation because it is not written on paper. 

Scams are all over India. One of these was in Bihar where holy cows were not given anything to eat by their elected leader. The other scam was in Bofor which is a small town in Switzerland.In this, a lot of Indian money was given to buy a gun which can shoot a coot. 

Presently India has a coalishun government made up of many parties, left,right and centre. It has started to library the economy 

India is also trying to become an Asian tiger because its own tigers are being poached. 

Another important event this year was the Shark meeting at Malas Dive. At this place, shark leaders agreed to share their poverty, pollution and population 

I sincerely hope you that you are in a fit condition to move on to other places on this site.

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