Posted on: Nov 09, '08
Hello 'Friend'
"Life is partly what we make it, and partly what is made by the friends whom we choose." - Tehyi Hsieh
---------------------------------------------------
Hello friend,…………. I know not why you asked me to write about a
‘FRIEND’? Are you confident that I would be able to picturise ‘A FRIEND’ properly, because there are volumes of papers on him described by many from ages. But since being a friend you wanted me to write I am writing here what I could understand and learn, partly from experience and a little from what I have tried to gather from various sources. Hope I would be able to scribble a few lines at least.
Since I have joined fropper i.e.. about eight months till now I have seen no of views, scraps, quotations and poems describing a ‘FRIEND’ and ‘FRIENDSHIP’. They are true by 100% as they show that a friend is the one –
• who is always with you even when the whole world walks away
• that he is one who would be with you ignoring his own needs when you require him
• that he is one who would trust you and believe you even when you have stopped believing yourself,
• that he is the one who knows all good and bad of you and still likes you
• that he is your mirror
that he is the one who knows more about you than yourself and
• most important of all like Aristotle said “Friendship is one mind in two bodies” etc. etc.
Indeed no wonder this is one that magical relation, without which, it is highly impossible for anyone to live on this earth. We are the ones who need association with some body who understands us in the true sense and help us to survive the trials and tribulations that the time subjects us during various moments of life. A friend is said to be a unique mixture of affection, loyalty, love, respect, trust and also fun to cheer you up when you are down emotionally. And such trusted one could only be the one who has similar interests, respect and strong attachment for you. Further more he would remain true and trusted unconditional true friend only when you too extend similar behavior towards him.
Friendship cannot survive if one person makes all the effort to sustain it without any mutual recognition from other. Both positive and negative experiences refine the personality of the individual. Thus it is essential that you find friends who are compatible with you on an emotional and psychological basis and if such friend is found the distance between you would not matter. When there is openness, devoid of formalities and treatment of the other person as a member of your own family then the distance between the friends or lack of correspondence for some time cannot mar the friendship. Further in true friendship neither needs a posh place to hang out nor they need long and elaborate conversation to know whether his friend is fine. By listening to mere ‘Hello’ over phone one can make out the present status of his friend. True friends don't desert each other when there is trouble. They face it together and support each other even if it hurts the other individual's interest. Best friends don't analyze each other; they don't have to. They accept each other with their positive and negative qualities. Nothing is hidden between true friends; they know each other's strengths and weaknesses. Best friends don't stand any outsider commenting or criticizing their friendship and they can put up a very firm resistance to anyone doing so. True friends are not opportunists. They don't help because they have something to gain out of it. True friendship is selfless. Best friends support even when the whole world opposes you. It is not easy getting true friends and if you have even one true friend, consider yourself blessed. In this world of cynics and back stabbers, there are still some people who are worth being friends with.
Theoretically the great philosopher Aristotle categorized genuine friendship under two categories one based on mutual usefulness and the other on pleasure. The first category being of very short duration may be only till one needs, or say the acquaintances made in order to procure necessities of ones physical self like managerial skills, product services, nourishment and other needs of the body. To be more clear the official staff, the manual help from various persons like domestic servants or shop keepers, drivers etc can be grouped under this. The other category being of pleasure is friendships that are made to meet the requirements of the mind like – literature, music, art, or to share our mental abilities. But these too are not permanent often and are time bound. If I am not wrong the friendships made on the sites like this can be categorized under this, of course with an exception in some stray cases.
Apart from these two the friendship of virtue is the one that is most important and is the one that is detailed in the initial paras. Plato said -"Friends have all things in common." This is the one that is based on the common values of the two persons, and has to be based on truth and integrity. Much observation, understanding, selection and test about likes and dislikes are needed for this sort of friendship which takes time to establish and also needs hard work on the either persons. And it is those who desire the good of their friends for the friends’ sake that are most truly friends, because each loves the other for what he is, and not for any incidental quality. Friendship of this kind is permanent, reasonably enough; because in it are united all the attributes that friends ought to possess. Every one of us would expect honest, sincere, loyal and truthful friendship from each person known to us. It has to be well remembered that to get such beautiful friendship we have to extend similar one real by each letter of what all we aspire from others.
"Scatter seeds of kindness everywhere you go;
Scatter bits of courtesy--------
watch them grow and grow.
Gather buds of friendship;
Keep them till full-blown;
You will find more happiness
than you have ever known.
- Amy R Raabe
Tags: pleasure, love, loyalty, magical relation, world, friend, virtue
Recent posts
