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Posted on: Nov 20, '08


 A letter to my son

Background

My only son informed me that he is in love and wants to marry a girl. He also did not provide the details except that the girl is from a community generally unacceptable to my family and is from a distant part of the country – we know very little of.

I share with you all, the mail I sent him.



Dear son,

Blessings.

Your phone call and the mail has perturbed me and your mum. We do not know how to react. This is sudden and very disturbing. The present culture of the society……… tells us not to be hasty in taking decision. Convincing your Dada and Daadi is also no easy task.

So what do I do ……………the old cliche ‘ you are an adult take your decisions and bear the consequences.’

I am unable to stop myself from giving some unasked advice (I am sure it is superfluous). These few verses …………

Yeh jo ishq hai mere laal
Yeh fareb hai jaal hai

Lailaa majnoo se puchcho
Fitnaa aur bawaal hai

Is pachde me na pado
Is me nahin dil ka karaar hai

Kaamyaabi kataee mumkin nahin
Jo kamyaab hai laachaar hai                                                          

Maza chala jaata hai jawaani ka
Ragadte rahiye chiraag jo bin jinnat hai

Chalo chodo yeh kissaa lago dhandhe se
Aakhir pet ka bhi to sawaal hai

Abhi to chand ghanto ki mashakkat hai
Apnee zid pe rahoge to roz ka malaal hai

Aur dil ki baat ek behtar shayar ki zabaan


Likh jo diyen hain Chand Alfaaz yahan,
Fakat Kaghaz pe kuch andaaz hain,
Bohot chhota hai inka kadd, 
               Aur naa inpe hume utna naaz hai… !! 


                                                       a very confused father



Tags: son choice dilemma




Comments  [ 35 Comments ] [ Post your comment | Subscribe (?) ]


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manisha_bhattacharya said:
I think you did the right thing... if he's old enough to marry, then he ought to be mature and responsible enough to make his own decisions!

December 01, '08


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aussielindaLEO said:
Love is wonderful and test of time is even better.... hope they take their time or at least bring both families together in friendship soon.

November 27, '08


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aussielindaLEO said:
From my experience if you start to give advice at times like this , it is too late to be listened to. you need to have had a close relationship all along where father and son both talk about private matters and discuss freely and openly and naturally. It is then that the son would understand that the father is not just asserting his authority here.

Really, I think it is a bit silly to want to marry her if she has not even met you. From her point of view, it is not wise either. You could be inlaws from hell ;-)

November 27, '08


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Nazlini said:
"You are an adult take your decision and bear the consequences" In my opinion will give same advice with my child. As to here in USA, parents would like their child to be independent. At the age 18 yrs old, you learn to be a sole provider.

November 25, '08


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saurabh55a said:
Shrian,

its always painful when a father is ignored by his son,
The 'love' with a girl is very personal affair of any young man, , but when it is converting in marrige, it does mean to every person who also love that young man , as a father , mother, or other relative.

it's better to check tha whole case, as a father, n not leave on mercy of God,

November 24, '08


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ashokthakur said:
very nice
thanks for sharing

November 23, '08


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YuVaRaaJa said:


November 22, '08


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tafi11 said:
There is no dilemma if I were the father I would tell him in simple words look son you are making a hasty decision but it is fine with me but when you have problem with so call girl make the equally hasty decision to leave her and cut your losses short instead of putting all of us in jeopardy. I do believe in family values but not against someone life never stops any body liking anyone it is their right and we must respect accordingly.

November 22, '08


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akhileshpushpa said:
Excellent advice of a father to his son fall in hasty & blind love. I also copied for future ....?
www.mayihelpyouonline.com

November 21, '08


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sriangood said:
THANKS to all for the support and advice.

Its a nice feeling
when you know
that someone likes you,
someone thinks about you,
someone cares for you;



November 21, '08

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