Mind meld, some meandering thoughts on virtual friends

When two people, often strangers, each clueless about the other's physical attributes, the way he/she may sound, look, dress, talk...., interact in the virtual world, there is a unique bond that forms and binds, a bond of words. Inhibitions tend to slip away online. There is a feeling of connectedness that is not just, "Oh, I'm getting on well with this person." There is a deeper level, a moment of real intensity. I call it a mind meld, quite literally, a meeting of minds. And mind is the most powerful aphrodisiac .



Sometimes I can’t help but wonder: What’s “virtual” and “real”? Where is the boundary? Do they really represent what they literally mean? The two worlds are an integral part of our lives, interactions exist in the two....


Real relationships may not be easy. This is due to the fact that mostly they are hard to control due to the reality of other people being involved. While the virtual ones provide an opportunity for us to have a greater level of control . Here one can engage people on our own terms, to a certain extent.
 

Today, many live in the city of lonliness. We meet, we greet, we smile and just leave. That personal bond, an emotional connectivity may be missing. It is becoming easier than ever to abandon reality and seek to fulfil some of our relational needs virtually. Also due to long work hours, it is easier and convenient to just “connect on the net", from the comfort of your own home. Other reasons exist too, all are on the spaces for a reason, the same differing from person to person. . And it feels like those needs are being met. But are they?......may be only temporarily.....



A relationship over a computer and a modem is only 'virtual' they say, but isn't sharing one's thoughts and feelings somehow not "real" ? Here it is the minds talking, the words connecting and making a bond. Most of us who have been online know that it is quite easy talking with a virtual friend or stranger. And many a time, without even trying, a real relationship can start. There is something quite intimate about this, somehow deeper, richer and more meaningful than any intimacy known...for it is the minds that are connecting.. are at the same mental wavelength.



Going further, the net has increasingly become a social medium - a new way of meeting people and making new friends. Social networks, utilities and virtual friend books allow people to share their daily lives with friends and strangers. Unfortunately, at the same time, the perils of the same are being seen.....cyber bullying, little security, no laws etc. 


Just about everyone seems decent on the other side of a keyboard. One of the major concerns about the Internet is its integral anonymity and impersonality.The door on virtual relationship is wide open for deception and emotional distance. It's easy to hide our true selves behind the computer terminal and project ourselves to be whatever others want us to be (multiple personalities). When meeting virtual friends and connecting with the same online, follow the "gut instinct" and listen to that lil voice that is often ignored, the good old conscience. 


 Virtual friends are here to stay. After all, virtual friendship is based on trust and the virtual friends' trustworthiness - just like in IRL (=in real life).  It's upon us, as individuals, to come out clean and create an environment of trust in the virtual world. Once you pick out the chaff from the wheat of networks, channels and nicknames, your virtual friends ingratiate themselves into becoming your extended family.

It is entirely in our hands to make it a place of devil or archangel.





MUSINGS



Many here would have met some virtual friends in real life, some might be wary, while some are more relaxed about the same. HAVE you had any experience...good or bad..when meeting virtual friends? (Remembering Manisha's traditional treatment for wolves in disguise..).   I have...


For quite sometime, I had been wary of meeting friends from the virtual world because of a bad experience . I have met only 2 virtual friends till now and one of them is Inktank (Anand), a gem of a person.



I had been on another blogging site for a year and a half. Over months of interaction, I become very close to a lady, we got along like house on fire. The exchange of messages, thoughts etc was limited to comments, emails and chats. One fine day she announced she would be visiting the capital and we agreed to meet at a common place. The day arrived, I was excited, had bought a lovely gift for her and on an impulse...baked a gooey dark chocolate cake ( knowing her weakness for the same ) . On reaching the place, eyes searched anxiously for the familiar yet unfamiliar face, only to be disappointed. Spotted a cosy corner and I settled in, waiting for her to arrive. The time often seems to stretch and then hang, then alternate ...when one is waiting in anticipation. Suddenly out of the blue, a gentleman approached and enquired if I was waiting for ABC and on nodding in the affirmative, this guy grinned and sat down opposite me. Before one could say anything , he extended his hand forward, and said , ” I am ABC”. I was a little confused and then the realisation dawned, one had been communicating with a man who pretended to be a woman. Gosh, I hate deceptions. My reaction?….nothing much ….just dumped that chocolate cake on his head and walked out.



Reflections : On thinking back, one can have a good laugh now, but at that time was it was far from being funny. The action was impulsive, but I will not deny the pure, unadulterated, sadistic pleasure it gave . Wish that guy in a woman’s garb had told me the truth before meeting. I know, one might have not met, but it would have hurt less. We had shared a lot, one felt betrayed and cheated. Women have some typical reactions and words, ways of communicating etc. …this bum had all that. Wonder who/what one had communicated with. 


……..this gentleman was quite dishy, is another thing.

Tags: virtual friends, rambling, mind meld, musings

57 Comment(s)  |  Share   |  Permalink [?]  |  Digg!

Post Rating: [ Votes: 9 ]    Saved