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Posted on: Nov 30, '08


 LOSS OF A MAGIC..........

Loss of a magic……….

It's been a long time since I thought of loosening hold on my awareness…

I remained more or less in a strange kind of wakefulness, a watchfulness which grew so resolute, so stubborn and unyielding, I gradually realised it ended up growing into an insatiable greed within me, to gather things in my mind…

I started storing events within me. The experiences were gathered in my mind, so raw, so inflamed all the time.

I did narrate few of such experiences like my meeting Geet Sudha, my soul mate on fropper and about being with a newly found friend Jassi, you guys could relate to both with equal compassion and love. Some of my friends did appreciate the continuity of the flow of thoughts.

Amidst that struggle to maintain a constant connection with the subject, emotions and expression, I suddenly realised a different state of mind. Wasn’t I trying to internalise all which is external. Am I living in two worlds???

Seeing an ugly old woman walking in front of me with a limp, made me internally weak and I felt innocent and joyful inside, if my eyes settled on a baby.

At that moment, I felt I was a baby, but at the same time, I was unable to loosen like him and managed to carry out a meaningful conversation.

While under your own steam completely unaware of the surroundings and living in a world of an own, imagining that the life is stable now and my moods are manageable, my body is fit and my sleep is sound and my friendships are not co-dependent.

A mind which dwells carefully in the present and still sneaks into those memories distant and a mind tangled in the jungles of desires, still wants to fall prey to certain moments, who like those remorseless beasts, manage to inhabit some dark spaces of the mind.

At such instances, mind realises loss of a magic, magic like once happened with you. And that magic almost out-paces you at every turn and you gradually find a desire deeper and deeper inside you ends up into a growing gloom.

Magic like that while walking on a lonely road, one day, a flower which just fallen from the tree, stepped on your feet, and you stopped to pick it up, and hold it in your fingers and you suddenly found more of them strewn all over the ground.

You would find them out also when you climb up the hills at twilight, which flits in and out of those small caves in the cliffs. Those flowers lead you to the forests where you would find more of them, hiding behind trees, and if you lost them or all they lost you, you would always find them again.

And it didn’t matter, if you followed them all day, there was nothing to fear, the edge of the world was miles away. 



Tags: philosophy, magic, life, love




Comments  [ 75 Comments ] [ Post your comment | Subscribe (?) ]


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mmm65 said:
Very interesting one to read.
Thanks dear for sharing this.

January 07, '09


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boy_blue1983 said:

well done my frnds.i really enjoyed reading it.

January 04, '09


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BABAVASUDEV said:
Well! Ididn't wanna write a comment, then. Coz I was afraid it was coming from your heart, and that would have been sad and unacceptable. Though, as creative writing, fictitious and imaginary situation and its literary finessy, it did merit accolades. Now, after hearing from Geet and hoping and praying it is true and. finally believing your's is a literary work of excellence, here's a bouquet of flowers from my heart, Sumedha.

January 04, '09


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myworld07 said:
effortless reading. something profound, wrapped up in such a plaintive flow of words.
i have often felt that 'growth' is about gradually unlearning all the stereotyped patterns that we learnt, and sinking back into childhood. just that this time, we have insight into the internal world that thrives within us. in fact, as years go by, i often feel that the world within the mind is more real than the world i see around me.

December 23, '08


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creativefront said:
This blog differs from other blogs you have written so far. Though I liked all but about it in one line I can say a post having poetic prose.
Thanks for sharing it Sumedha.


December 21, '08


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geetsudha said:
hi my deary,so far the best blog of urs,evn though i luv all of them.concealing secrets within,hoping others might guess.each passing day,we artfully hide the hurt that simmers within,unable to face,choosing to ignore,despair over what might have been,they all carry a tale of events that impact our life,stories untold,we wish to unfold.morning sun eclips the night helps us clean up the mess,each day a celeberation of life starts with a gentle caress.everything within us is real,the magic is there,the external confuses us,but hv the power of mind x to confuse u,u need to learn the art of balancing the internal n external,u live butifully.i went thru that too,but yes today i live blissfully,but u need to give those thoughts a voice n communicate,it makes life easier,which u hv done and are doing it.dealing with open wounds sensitively,rebuild life once again fearfully.like a freshly painted canvas of memories,a celeberation of love will fill ur life,these are my good wishes n my blessing

December 07, '08


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Weekender2000 said:
i liked the conclusion. you made it an intresting read.

December 07, '08


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tito2008 said:
it is like a beautiful poem written in prose...

December 05, '08


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tenjade_destiny said:
thank you SIRRJI, itna pyara gussa dikahne ke liye...and i really pray..u be arounds to see me at that time...love u for this

December 04, '08


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indianyogi4uCAP said:
lei = pei

December 04, '08

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