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Posted on: Dec 01, '08

There'll Be Spring Every Year Without You!!!

There’ll Be Spring Every Year Without You!!!

My friend was down with a 102/3-degree temperature. We’d been exchanging messages. This morning, I sent him a message asking (advising? ha haaaaaaaa) to take it easy and stay put at home. Promptly came the response claiming that there were important meetings scheduled and he had to honour appointments.

Well--------I could have just said, ‘Oh, ok. Take care.’. But how could I? Oh, no; I had to quote these lines to him: ‘There’ll be crumpets and tea without you; England still will be here without you’!!! And his quip to that was, ‘You just said it’!!! LOL

This is a song from the film ‘My Fair Lady’; when the pompous Professor Higgins challenges Eliza Dolittle that she couldn’t do without him, she sings thus. A wonderful song; if you haven’t heard it, you should!!!

But that’s not what I wanted to share here. The exchange of messages and the content, left me wondering about something,

which has always been at the back of my mind; and now I’m thinking aloud!

We do have this ‘obsessive belief’ that things/people would come to a stand still without our presence. Several of us shy away from taking certain responsibilities or going out and having fun, on the pretext that we are needed elsewhere and that they would be lost without us.

One of my colleagues goes into near-hypertension whenever she has an outstation assignment. Once we were discussing this and I told her that she attaches too much importance to herself; I suggested that she take up longer assignments and that she was sure to come back to a well-running household and not to a stagnated one! LOL She was indignant to a certain degree, but came back and said, ‘Yes Chithra, you were right. My husband and son had managed extremely well; in fact, they didn’t even express that they missed me’!

I’m not discounting the importance of anyone; not underplaying the significance of one’s role at the professional or personal front. But I still feel very strongly that it’s time we sat up and gave it a thought. I’m no exception to this folly(if we may call it one!). Once I was training in Mysore; it was a 12 day schedule with just a Sunday off in between. On the 8th day of training, I came down with nearly 103/4 degree temperature; I used to shiver the nights, take Crocin to temper the fever and toss and turn in the bed, moaning and groaning; come morning, I used to go about my work; back to training, till I returned to the room; to moan and groan through another night! My refrain to everyone was, ‘Oh I can’t imagine deserting this programme mid way; who would replace me at such short notice?’ Well, what would have happened had I called up my office and said that I couldn’t manage it? Of course, someone else would have taken my place and ran the programme through!!! It’s as simple as that.

We are not able to let go; to let our hair down and take it easy. Corporate burn-out is a growing concern these days; though everyone seems to have everything, there’s a general disgruntlement around. Ask anyone, ‘How’z life’? How many come up with a smile and a cheerful, ‘fine’? Hardly a handful! Aren’t we imposing too much on ourselves? Haven’t we got into the ‘all work and no play’ mode? Aren’t we missing out on the essentials of life? Sigggghhhhhhhh So much to ask, but so few answers!!!

Why do we do so? It may be that we’re poor in delegation; we don’t know how to get things done. It may be that we’re perfectionists; we don’t want anyone else to do things; no one could do it as well, could they? It may be that we’re too much into our immediate surroundings; the family, or the office needs me; there’s no second thought about it. At times, there’s no second line to carry on in our absence. But after saying all this, I’m still left with this niggling thought; Are we on an ego trip? Are we elevating ourselves to such higher planes that we’re trying to

compete with God? Are we so conceited in thinking that we’re indispensable?

Even death does not bring the world to a stand still; we do exclaim many a time that someone will be so lost without someone else. But a reality check always shows that people have carried on even after the loss of the nearest and the dearest! For, that is life. It moves on; it has to move on; it will move on!!!

I’m by no means hinting that we should shirk our duties or be casual about them. While we’re at it, we should perhaps learn to draw a line between being duty conscious and being so obsessively!!! What say folks?

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neha_sh2000 said:

...mayb v do attach too much importance to ourselves chitra.....but i still wish i am not taken to a guilt-trip every time i am planning on an outing.....

December 05, '08

SweetAdonis said:
A good manager doesnt do, she gets it done..

A perfectionist excells in finearts, not in management. Still nothing comes closer to DIY in terms of quality. I delegate only when in doubt..

And enjoy rest of the time pulling with weights on..

December 05, '08

tito2008 said:
u r absolutely right ...

December 05, '08

Giftedguy said:

Ecellent!! special praise 4 u...

December 04, '08

BindasCorner said:
U2 With or Without you..I'll be the same and live my life.

December 03, '08

PrudentTAU said:
I must appriciate,,,, your efforts.

December 03, '08

dagnysharma said:
Spirituals...

Its a pleasure to read your comment Sir. I feel blessed to have read something that simple... and that profound. Would you sue me for plagarizing if I use that 'quaint' example of yours in one of my training sessions..??

Kudos...!!!

CJ..

I bet you wrote this for me... *sigh*

I needed to read it. Now, pl dont get me wrong. I am NOT promising I'll change myself overnight... but I will try to lighten up a mite... truly I will....

Cheers,

Dagny

Cheers,

December 02, '08

Ledzep said:
the fear of dying. essentially!

December 02, '08

harsh7901 said:
that is life.... it moves on; it has to move on.. it will move on... u there or not...

perfectionists must be i'm... big reason for not enjoying the life to the fullest

but then i've read this somewhere "here r the graves of ppl who thout world will come to stand still in their absence"
great post cj...

December 02, '08

softtalk1983 said:
Higgins.. I love him and the rotten cabbage leaf also. Gud movie..saw it 35 time ..still wants to! I have a DVD hahahah.
Coming 2 a point it is just called Passion for recognition. It is difficult to eradicate from one's self as it is trait one is born with. there are 3 qualities one is born with rajas, tamas, and satva. U cannot all together get out of the mode u r in. But a hard work can check the tendency to fall prey 2 it.
How's that!
seeing and setting the priorities ( the one u were advising)
checking wht the end product and how he/she is going to use it! (for name and fame or just for the sake of duty! the difference out commendos at taj and politicians at same place (ex. vilasrao deshmukh))
Ok
love

December 02, '08

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