Lumos

Lumos

A state of delirium,
Of not knowing what’s happening.
Unconscious, half-drunk, enmeshed thoughts
Wonder how I will allay the ache.
Unsure yet sure about life
It is funny…how you are supposed to let it unfold
You can’t close your eyes, yet you don’t wanna see
Of what lies ahead and what lies beneath.
Layers and layers of memories,
Half broken hearts, charged moments and free smiles
You peel them one at a time
Some you let go easily,
And you bleed as the others are removed
From that place which is closest to your heart.
Invaded by the ghost of thoughts from the life that I left behind
Flashes of brilliance come and go 

And I sit here
Alone in a swarm of faces.
I am not one of them, neither am I stranger to you.
Funny this life is…
A little pain, a little pleasure;
A little heaping up of treasure
But at the end of the day,
Left to your own devices, you wonder whether to fight the forces or let them take over you.
Of whether to dictate your own destiny
Or let life happen to you. 

I am not a believer.
Guess I’ll stick to my own remedy.
Happy go lucky…everybody’s buddy, but nobody’s friend
Wonder how my life will end?
But let me not confuse myself…
Let me not complicate the wild tangle of my own life
Happy to live in the specks of light from the past
Skeptical about what lies at the end of the tunnel
But I will keep walking on
Perhaps someday I will be the mistress of my own fate
No its not too late
To get a grip on life
To hold my future in the comfort of my fingers…

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