Posted on: Apr 27, '07

Happy Birthday Dad
Death...the word evokes a myriad emotions in the human mind. Some are fearsome, some are stoic, some are evasive and some are forthright. Death is a difficult event to deal with in anyone's life, no matter what your stance on it is.
I was evasive, thinking it couldn't happen to me. It would never affect my life, and our family of 5 would continue to be the quintessential happy Indian family. Yet when death struck, it struck hard. And I am learning to deal with it.
This is not supposed to be a morose piece which would depress anyone reading it. Rather its supposed to be full of vigour and positivity, for the man who I am writing this for, would have wanted it no other way.
I write this for my father...he would have been 60 today, had I not lost him three years back. I lost him to a disease called Cancer...the ailment wreaked havoc on his body, but till the dying day my father retained his sense of humour. The twinkle in his eyes might have been a tad less shinier in those painful days, but it never did disappear. The conviction might have been fainter in his voice, but it never did fade. My father was a fighter, and he battled with the disease for 11 long years before he finally gave in.
Today, when I look back, I don't want to remember the pain in his voice in the last days. I'd rather remember my smiling father, bustling with energy, his hearty laughter and his love for food. I'd rather not remember him by the haunted look on his face as he lay on the hospital bed, I'd rather remember him for the resolve and the positivity that his face always radiated.
Yes, his death is still a raw wound that bursts open every once in a while. But Dad's helping me pick up the broken pieces of my life and build my dreams again. He has never left my side, I know he is forever watching. I talk to him when I am confused, and he still guides the way...just like old times.
In sharing this with you, I mean to share a very personal feeling that I learnt when I lost my dad. And that is to love your parents, and to tell them that you do. I spent a large part of my life taking my parents for granted, just like any other kid. It was only when I lost my father, that I realised there was so much more I could have done for him as a daughter.
But...if there is one thing that I am thankful about, it is the fact that I got a chance to tell him that I loved him, even as he breathed his last. And if he can hear me right now (which I am sure he can), I would like to say it again....Love you Papa. Happy Birthday.
Tags: dad, death, birthday