Posted on: Jun 14, '09
Entry to the Wacky Invention Contest started by Saz & CJ !!
Being fully aware that this contest is for fun, I have tried my hand a bit differently just for a change... If anyone finds it some what serious in parts & a bit long, my humble submission is to read on & take it on the lighter side !!
NEED FOR THIS INVENTION:
Maya – Illusion is the cause for all happiness / sadness in this universe. According to cosmic laws, our desires are manifestation of our inner most feelings, the thoughts - that we cherish the most & which seems to give us un-parallel happiness!! Since happiness can be connected to Illusion, this attempt is to make a device using scientific theory; which can make our innermost desires come true:
NAMAKARNA:
This invention is called ‘DATE version 1.0’ or ‘Disto Akshaya Tuboo Echoic version 1.0’
DISTO - Distilled water is a good conductor for electric supply & a primary component for our inner most desires to get transmitted through the medium of charged water & the end product is produced through ether at the lab pad called ‘Jefferies Tube’ or ‘Turbo lift’ (you might remember seeing them in Star trek)
AKSHAYA – Never finishing or never diminishing!! What’s the use of having an invention with limited supply of desires fulfillment!!
TUBOO – Oh, it is a simple Aluminium tub to hold the distilled water. Being a south Indian & a Mal at that, the OO’s are for special southie flavors.
ECHOIC – The desire that you visualize needs to be echoed through the medium of emptiness & space for cosmic energies to transform your thoughts into the MAYA you wish so much.
VERSION 1.0 – Now a day’s versions are in vogue & quite famous in the ‘techno savvy world’ of inventions & discoveries, I just don’t want to be left behind!!
By the way, are there any humans who are not wishing a DATE…..?
MODUS OPERANDI:
One of the most important parts read carefully & visualize as you read through:
A lab pad is prepared at about 10 to 15 feet for the point of experiment. Three focus neon bulbs of various colors are fixed into the ceiling & switched on. You may use a smoke machine on the floor as an effect factor. However, ensure that the smoke detector is off, if you have one.
The ‘Tuboo’ is placed & filled with the distilled water. You have to sit facing east in front of the tuboo. Make a ring out of alluminium and wear in on your right hand ring finger (as you wear a darbha ring for rituals). Immerse the ring finger into the distilled water. Now raise your left hand towards the sky as if you are taking oath (palm resembling the congress symbol)… Take a few deep breath & you are ready….
Music is also essential for one to get in the right mood & be focused. You may use any tune of your liking as background music. I tried quite a few myself & found the theme music of ‘James Bond’ the best.
If the desire is of the ‘tamasic’ nature – say ‘Hail Hitler’ (thrice).
For ‘Satvic’ – repeat ‘Satyameva jayatee’ (thrice) as you make your wish or visualize the desire…
Be focused and after about 30 seconds, abracadabra… the object of your desire materializes below the ‘turbo lifts’ in the lab pad.
SOME INTERESTING RESULTS OF THE EXPERIMENT:
1) It was always a desire to have a private talk with my neighbor’s wife. I guess most man do wish too. That apart, I played the age old hindi number ‘Aja Aja… Mein hon pyar tera’. Full of energy, got ready to see the success of my DATE version 1.0, said Hail Hitler thrice. 30 second past & Lo!! Behold, I saw her appear in the turbo lift. The happiness was short lived when I found that she was accompanied by her husband & MIL. I realize that all the 3 neons were on. Before the shock could settle in, I heard Morgan Freeman typically as in ‘Bruce Almighty’ style say – “Steal not; drink not; covet not others’ wealth & women”…. Well, I offered them coffee & snack, got praises for the invention & saved my skin without arising a doubt. Of course, I learnt a good moral lesson in the process… Be warned… DATE version 1.0 seems to be well versed with Vedas & Upanishads, which I think are essential part of cosmic laws too.
2) I had a close friend who had left for heavenly abode a few years ago. Though I was a bit scared, I thought I would desire to meet him now in his new avatar & try & understand the mysteries of ‘After death What?’ I did the usual ‘rituals’ on the DATE version 1.0 & was quite surprised to find my cousin’s year old child appear in the ‘Jefferies Tube’… This time it was Amitabh’s voice I guess, reciting – “Karmanya Vadhikarastey, Mah Phaleechu Kadachan”.. I realized that there should be truth about ‘Karmic laws’ in general & the ‘theory of re-birth’ in particular & was very happy that my best friend was now a part of my family. I took him back home before his parents would start missing him!!
3) One more experiment I would like to share was the time I thought of attempting a general welfare agenda. Staying in NCR & a part of UP, we have severe electricity problem. So I decided to use DATE version 1.0 to have this issue sorted out. After the rituals, as usual, with the ‘Bond Theme’ in the background, I desired that let this problem be solved. I was numb struck & psyched when I saw Mayawathiji with Mulayam Singhji, tugged along by Amar Singhji appearing, looking at me & saying in unison – ‘Abhee Ghoos diya nahi aur mangneh chala…’ Simultaneously I heard – “Hey Ram” & found the sad face of babuji regretting the state of Free India…
There were many more experiments too that were conducted & from the results I thought I had enough experiment with DATE version 1.0. Desires are best left to be desires. Even with a machine to have it fulfilled, we are still not in control of the MAYA that surrounds us. Though, the machine could fulfill my desires, it still had some strings attached from an ‘unknown’ source of energy. It gave me a feeling that there is indeed a power which governs & controls the path of our destiny!! Now I have kept 'DATE version 1.0' under wrap & pack as a memoir of my invention & experiment with desires!!
ABOUT THE INVENTOR & DISCLAIMER:
The inventor is a renowned author of a ‘yet to be written’ psycho handbook – “Result Oriented Mad Man is a Genius”. The Inventor takes total responsibility for any short commings in the blog or invention & if anyone desire to get in touch with him for feedbacks or comments may do so by calling our toll free numbers - 100 in India & 911 in USA.
Sayonara!!
Tags: karma, cosmic, invention, experiment, genius
Recent posts
