Paper and pen- they are my most valuable possessions.

There are times when some revelation fails to contain itself within my mind. At such times, there is the joy of effortless writing. There is no groping for words, there are no pauses....It is a river flowing....effortlessly. On such occasions, the pen struggles....for it has to keep pace with the flow of thoughts.
And then there are times when I ache to write, but nothing comes out. I put pen to paper, struggle for words, strike off lines in discontentment, and eventually give up. Such is my state now.
The paper that I write on, is like a temple to me. As I put pen to paper, it is like lighting a lamp. Sometimes, the goddess chooses to make an appearance, and takes abode in my mind transiently, and I experience the joy of creation. At other times, she chooses to remain distant, and I just end up writing something that fails to give me any joy at all. After all, creation can never be a "consciously set up arrangement". It has to be purely subconscious- it must come out in one flow, unbound by rules and patterns, and yet it is the most beautiful phenomenon in this world.

Art is like one's baby- we give birth to it. While we contain it within ourselves, there is the awareness of something beautiful and profound thriving within us, and yet there is not the slightest idea of what physical form it shall take.....until the point it is delivered. That is when our joy at having "created" touches its peak.

It has been a long time since I wrote consistently. No art can emanate from a mind that is preoccupied. Once in a while, when I glance at the pile of papers that I have scribbled onto in the past, or when I visit Fropper, I realize how much I miss writing. Then I sit with a pen, and only end up tearing pages! A few thoughts come occasionally, but they are random, fleeting thoughts that die out as instantly as they appear. Perhaps transient glimpses of the goddess!

Just thought I would drop in and say hi. Also wanted to share one good news that I am excited about- am going back to student life. At 30, after all these years at work, it feels strange to go back to college- I feel excited, anxious and mature in some ways :)

p.s. good to see you back, eccentric geek! i hope dagny comes back too..

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