Well, considering that I do have a lot of peeves with most of the things around me, it’s pretty hard to narrow it down to a list. But I’m going all stops for my most memorable HATEs!!!!!!!!!!!

           Number 1: “Cycle chalana aata hain na to bas!”

I got a bike first and then I learned how to ride it. It was depressing!

The gorgeous shiny black motor vehicle that could enable me to zoom past my contemporaries of the road lay in the parking lot (with a garland and tikka and all!) and I was still out in the sun hunting autos (spending billions!) and tracking train schedules. Do you know how hard it is to find a person or an institute that teaches you to ride a bike??? Why is it taken for granted that just because I’m born, I know how to “do it”?

Anyway, I approached at least eight people, all of whom seemed veteran bikers. All of these, and more folks whom I didn’t approach but shared my problem with, had the same comment to make: “Cycle chalana aata hain na to bas! Bike bhi cycle jaisa hi hain! Thoda practice karo sab aajayega.” That did it.

I wanted to kill them. I still do….

         Number 2: Men who are not men.

Meet Goldilocks. She’s a man!

You’ve seen loads of these “guys” everywhere: the rich, uber-chic, spotless dudes. Long shampooed hair cut straight, immaculately well-dressed and enchantingly perfumed. He’s the man who makes most wives late for parties. BECAUSE HE’S DRESSING UP! These guys are snobs. Not that you’d want to talk to them anyways. Don’t know why, but I’m R-E-P-U-L-S-E-D.

         Number 3: “Auto! Station jaayega?” “Nahi.”

These are Bombay autowalas; that repulsive breed of humanity which one is forced to endure when one has no bike (refer Number 1). They’ll sit there vacant, lazy, and unmonetized watching you struggle with transport. The worst is when you’re in your vehicle and the autos speed up, cut lanes, overtake, and sometimes maim and kill EVEN WHEN THEY ARE EMPTY!!! And that’s just few of my grouses with them. Ever noticed the auto guy adjusting the auto’s INTERNAL (wtf?) mirrors when a girl’s in it? Sounds familiar right? You betcha. This is one race of humans I simply cannot stand.

         Number 4 to 5000: Coming soon …

Tags: motorbike, bombay, goldilocks, hate, anti, mush, dislikes, news, rock, auto, men, cycle, motorcycle, bike