In the days of the Wild West
many were put to the test
Billy the Kid and Jessie James
Charlie Russell selecting frames
Will Bill Hickok and Sitting Bull
rum runners and their barrels full.

But ne'er a tale has been told
if I may be so bold
of the mouse called Klaus
who sat in a tiny house.

But Klaus wasn't the biggest cheese in town
that was a piece of cheddar on top of the goose down
how it got on the pillow no one knows
but among all cheeses, it never froze
which was a good thing
as the night was chilly
another outlaw buried on Boot Hilly
and Klaus roamed the streets
stopping off at Old Pete's
for a pint of ale
where Charlie sat looking pale.

Charlie, why so white?
I don't think it's the moonlight
either that or you're feeling tight.

It's the cheese down at McKnee's
old Charlie did wheeze
someone should eat it before it goes bad
a waste of cheddar is very sad.

With that I agree, Klaus raised his glass
the barmaid sighed,
What a pain in the a- -!

And out the door Klaus did march
though his clothes needed a bit of starch
down the street he walked 
while others talked
and to the house McKnee he charged
breaking the door he did barge.

And there by the window under the willow
was the piece of cheese on the pillow
Klaus climbed the bed and ate
and now can you guess his fate
the worst case of constipation ever
The Guinness Record Book did rate.


The End.

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