It is the incumbent upon a clergyman to keep his household in order to marry a woman of sound quality to live a peaceful life and to be of benefit to the parish which he is called upon to serve. It is also a mark of a clergyman’s quality if his wife is a dab hand in the domain of domestic affairs, a clergyman who’s wife is able to lay upon the table dishes of nourishing wholesome goodness is of great benefit for such a clergyman will live out his days respected by the entire range of persons who make up his living.

Such a man was Reverend Thomas James for Mrs. Elizabeth James the sweet heart of his youth was an adventurous cook who could at half a days notice laid before her husbands guests dishes which were the rage in places as far away as Madras in India to the most exotic far of the old enemy across the sea. The enemy of course whom I speak was that nation of gastronomical giants France. Elizabeth James prided herself on her ability to present for her guests fair which would not have disgraced the table of the Sultan of Burma or the more exquisite tables of the king of France.

However that been said Mrs. James who was loved dearly by her husband who could see no wrong in her had one major fault she was positively the worst cook in England. Had she been in the service of the kings army or the Royal Navy she would not long have survived for those brave men of the service would have come to realize that she was the most formidable weapon in the enemies of England’s arsenal for it was not uncommon for those who had partaken of one of her dishes to become violently ill shortly thereafter the good men of the Navy would have hung her from the nearest yardarm while the brave gentlemen of the fife and drum would have soon put her against a wall and shot her.

Yes to say the least Mrs. Elizabeth James was one of the worst cooks ever to inhabit the fair English country side. It was not for the want of trying for Elizabeth James tried to hard this been the fault for she would invariably add an extra ingredient or a little to much salt or pepper which would spoil the dish her greatest pleasure was to see her guests at table eating and enjoying there meal the discussion usually at the table usually centered round her wonderful dishes. Thus unaware of the truth this dear sweet lady continued to put at danger the people of the village of Notheringay and the surrounds. Of the reverend he had a long time ago grown used to his wife’s bad cooking believing it to be exotic of nature thus he had become some what immune to the danger of eating badly prepared food.

Due to the time in which they lived I am sure you will understand that no one would in polite society have sunk to the level of degrading the clergyman’s wife’s cooking for it would have been an unpardonable sin to mention that Mrs. James’s latest creation was not of a standard which would have been acceptable.

One good thing that could be said of Elizabeth James was she did manage to make the most wonderful custard pies which were spoken of often by member soft h parish for on fete days these were invariably in high demand and by the time the fair had ended the custard pies would us a rule be sold out, much to the delight of Mrs. James and the reverend gentleman.

In all other respects the clergyman of Notheringay was an unremarkable man who attended his duties with due diligence. He had been on some occasions called upon to carry out services which as a rule were a little difficult for not only was Mr James a clergyman of note in the county but he was also an experienced ghost layer.

A number of nobility attended the service on Sundays in the small church which had been built in Norman times for Notheringay had always been there an old and ancient settlement its origins deeply obscured in the mists of time.

Among these foremost families was the family of Sir Thomas Sterley, this well related family was in many ways the backbone of the parish for Sir Thomas had many sons and daughters who had married well and into many families of quality thus is was not uncommon for a duke or an earl to be found in the church listening to the service. The reverend James was particularly fond of Sir Thomas for it was from this gentleman’s influence which the reverend had his living.

So if Sir Thomas happened to fall asleep in the pew on a Sunday the reverend would find it in his heart to overlook this slight for he reasoned that the esteemed nobleman had much to occupy his mind during the rest of the week a half an hour in the arms of slumber on a Sunday was considered by him to be holy sleep for did not the good book say “The Lord gives rest to the righteous?”

It was indeed fortuitous for the reverend gentleman that he stood in the nobleman’s good graces for had Sir Thomas been of a more determined nature he might have put to an end the culinary explorations of Mrs. Elizabeth James, when he had first suffered a case of severe indigestion after eating a chicken pie which the good woman had diligently prepared for him on Sunday Afternoon when he called upon the clergyman when he first came to the parish in 1796. However Sir Thomas had reasoned that the new lady of the parish was young and her culinary efforts would improve with time. Ever after Sir Thomas was cautious of chicken pies and stayed clear of the good ladies pies of any description.

When it became apparent that the good ladies cooking would not improve the family had so long been in the parish as to cause Sir Thomas to dismiss any idea of the reverend and Mrs. James leaving for Thomas James had become invaluable to the parish as a ghost layer.

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