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									<title>Access denied--nah nah na nah nah!</title>
									<link>http://www.fropper.com/ezBlog/tenjade_destiny</link>
									<description>I would like to help you out. Which way did you come in?</description>
									<language>en-us</language>
									<pubDate>Thu, 21 Aug 2008 22:07:01 +0000</pubDate>
									<lastBuildDate>Thu, 14 Aug 2008 20:37:47 +0000</lastBuildDate>
				
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						<title>THE ART OF WANDERING !!!!</title>
						<link>http://www.fropper.com/post/20142</link>
						<description><![CDATA[A life spent prudently and played with all the rules learnt from everyone, even from swindlers, crooks and fools, no offense meant to anyone, after all everyone has his own lesson of strength to lend and resilience to share.   In midst of all this, doesn&rsquo;t mind crave sometimes to idle away time on useless things or just loiter around aimlessly?   Does &quot; loitering &quot; sound a bit offensive so let me call aimless wandering? It is no less than an art.   That&rsquo;s what I did a few days back. It was a beautiful Sunday evening. As I tried to furtively slip out of my house unnoticed after sleeping for the whole day, I was stopped in my tracks by my roomie&rsquo;s piercing voice, let&rsquo;s go for shopping!!!   I have some work to go for!!! I answer truthfully, and I was aware, that this&nbsp;answer would preclude the next question, what time I would be back? I shot back again, I don&rsquo;t know.   Don&rsquo;t know, means what, she shouted, but I pretended not to hear and make myself scarce and disappear as fast as possible.   It was a bright evening, I felt elated. Face flushed with a sense of carefree irresponsibility, I walked with a spring in my step. I was all in mood to enjoy my leisure. Should I turn left or right? I was free to choose.   The way I walked I felt as if many gave me an amused look and I kept walking, panning my gaze all over, and pausing once in a while to feast my eyes on any attractive object that arrests my attention.   A beautiful model on a large billboard in front of me seemed to gaze at me, &ldquo;Where are you going?&rdquo; she pursued. Nowhere, I said. She seemed to stare at me for a moment and soon seemed to be wearing a look of perplexed dejection as I walked off.   On Sunday evening, every place looks simply swarming with people that no one gives attention to anyone.   And in midst of all this crowd, I simply seem to blend well, when I realize that in spite of being still counted as disadvantaged as compared to the people who are rich, famous or have a striking personality, I can still enjoy the marvelous benefits of insignificance and the being a part of anonymity.   If it hadn&rsquo;t been would I have been able to enjoy myself with such carefree abandon and this kindda carefree irresponsibility.   The road side stalls and all the eateries crowded with noisy families bashing away regardless greedily demolishing the heaps of food before them seemed to satisfy my own need of satiation.   In that noise, I could sense a tranquil ambiance, so comforting and flattering emerging in my heart that I could really surf through my hearts content, and simply lost myself into that wonderful state of timelessness I experienced that time and I realized it happened because I was totally engrossed into doing something I loved.   Shall I go further wandering through the streets where every person seems to give some news, everything has a novelty and every poster has its advice to lend. Or shall I simply head home???   In that silent walk, all of us&hellip;the houses, the stones, posters and the sky held a long friendly conversation on the possibilities which were endless!   The freedom to enjoy life and win its ultimate reward, a happiness you gain when you really cease doing the things you have to do. You stop valuing time and you achieve its highest value. What reward could be greater than a life enjoyed as it is lived?   So do discover the art of wandering and you can trade in the art of living from the business of living.  ]]></description>
						 <pubDate>Thu, 21 Aug 2008 22:07:01 +0000</pubDate>
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						<title>MY DENIAL TO CELEBRATE!!!</title>
						<link>http://www.fropper.com/post/19674</link>
						<description><![CDATA[With the morale again towering high  
The air carrying that familiar smell  
Our nation again equipped and all set  
Hearts and minds rehearsing to gel  
 
But why my mind refuses this time  
To turn on to this common pleasure  
Make out these feelings widespread  
And simply embody this joy again&hellip;.  
 
Why don&rsquo;t I simply admit?  
And just gear up to celebrate&hellip;.  
The day which symbolises our Freedom  
The day which meant a common delight  
The day we all learnt to commemorate!!!  
 
Why rejoice this year resonates of a BLAST  
Out of&nbsp;this&nbsp;deadly Sphinx like silence  
Out of a stillness which finds itself strewn  
On the corners where CURFEW  
Rejects all this life, all this verve  
Where the peace no more calms  
But every heart does it unnerve. 
 
The life confined to the poor pavements  
And death proud on the road on its speediest wheels  
With bereavement reigning&nbsp;free.... 
 
I find the surroundings wearing&nbsp;  
the hues of&nbsp; 
SAFFRON which looks like now Colour of Carnage&nbsp; 
and GREEN like those green eyed monsters  
With the daggers concealed  
Under their spotless WHITE cloaks&nbsp; 
and want to cuddle me close.  
 
And my neighbours want to embrace  
Wish me the &quot;Independence Day&quot;  
But like others I am also petrified  
As even I don&rsquo;t know when I move apart  
I would be alive to see the other day&hellip;.  
 
Or there would be a dagger  
Stabbed on to my back  
With this note  
 
&ldquo;That this is body is murdered  
As it didn&rsquo;t carry this nation&rsquo;s scent  
This mind is slaughtered  
As it didn&rsquo;t converse in the common dialect&rdquo;  
 
So what if he lived all these years on this land  
We confirmed that he was a stranger  
He was still an outsider  
So he was no less a danger  
For his own nation!!!  
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						 <pubDate>Wed, 13 Aug 2008 01:42:16 +0000</pubDate>
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						<title>WHEN I MET MY CHILDHOOD FRIEND.....</title>
						<link>http://www.fropper.com/post/19205</link>
						<description><![CDATA[I had been kinda lazy to write blogs these days...The energies were more directed towards retreating into a snail shell, quietly receding into the spiral of life and allow myself to be swept into changes without thinking too much about it...  
 
Instead of reflecting on the happenings, I was getting ready to just sink deeper into the silence as I simply flow through the business of living in this human dimension...  
 
Already too much of pondering and lack of savouring&hellip;. still thoughts were there, but just I could feel their gentle and healing presence popping up once in a while whenever I just wished to turn to them for reassurance&hellip;..may be mind was ridden of an obvious fear of becoming inoperative that too when it had been in the mode of abundance of awareness mode.  
 
Since there was nothing more to think, and I am a sort of competitive person and do mind losing, so I took to dreams&hellip;..not the porcelain ones as I don&rsquo;t trust them I prefer dreams made of steel which could be rattled around with.  
 
The macho clanging of those dreams was sure to improve the eerie silence slowly descending in. I started thinking of certain presences which do happen and bring great and beautiful experiences along and make life bearable.  
 
I was in mood to see how far I can go with dreams, this thought of course lent an improbable prophecy as I was trying to snatch my mind from a much eloquent world, a heart which brightens beneath thousand tongues of flames.  
 
So the only way to survive this was to strike an out of body experience where my mind wanders in a dream world of my own, where it&rsquo;s all different. I am no more in mood to slay any dragons or save any poor damsel in distress. I wanted all the people around me to start looking like spirits and I too wanted to feel like ghost among them.  
 
Well, recently my most productive dreaming was when I was sitting in my cubicle that day. I was going through some written pages of codes which made no sense to me. Those codes matched well with the drabness of my uninteresting cubicle with blue and grey floor. And I was really wondering where all those techni-colours have gone I have seen in movies and dreamt of.  
 
The world looked so dry around me, so colourless, devoid of all the grandeur, too much austere in nature like reflection of my own realities these days.  
 
An alarm goes off every few minutes and then a machine would rise&hellip;Pantry, Washroom, training room, Cab, Home, Refrigerator, Bed, laptop and after that with the TV on at the background online with friends, complaining &amp; comparisons on fropper and day has gone by.  
 
All these thoughts came to a sudden halt when I saw someone sitting there on chair in front of me. I have never indulged in any drugs of any kind with an exception of caffeine which comes in a tasty brown beverage. Coffee sharpens the mind temporarily but eventually tires the body. Moreover I never saw anyone entering my cubicle too.  
 
She looked so shyly at me and touched me so slightly, so impossibly that I could never know what she is and will be. All I could see were her almond eyes, deep brown, liquid, and radiant. And there was a flash of untamed fear as if it would wake me up of this dream. Am I dreaming???  
 
She had dimples kind of those which are permanent on the cheeks and just turn more prominent when such people laugh. Dimples I always dreamt of, I always had a fall for that cleft in the muscles. I could see my finger moving to smudge the graphite of my face to create that dimple on my cheek.  
 
I asked her who she is, so quietly as if I was scared of being woken by own voice. She extended her arm and I shook it hesitatingly.  
 
&ldquo;I am your friend, that imaginary friend you had as a child&rdquo;, she said.  
 
These days it is no more fashionable to have imaginary friends but I remember I used to have an imaginary girl friend, till I attained that level of fertile imagination to question do they really exist and eventually they stopped carrying meaning for me anymore.  
 
She looked so uncomplicated and calm, so serene and safe. And she was right in front of me. This is perfect. But how all would become unbearable the moment I wake up.  
 
&ldquo;You remember we had no ambitions during those days, all we used to do is to dream and talk incessantly about them. We were too lazy to take any action and were scared of hard work.&rdquo;  
 
I suddenly remembered it was an age when everything seemed to be in state of calm. The lives of people in my world were fully sorted out and there were no dichotomies.  
 
We painted on any wall where we liked to. We used to sing, dance, write codes never to be deciphered, even cook, stitch, swim&hellip; all because we liked to.  
 
No competition of any kind, nobody trying to prove anything, no punishments so, no rewards.  
 
Everyone in some magical way was blanched off their base nature and was just gentle, polite, courteous and considerate. There was no fear of any kind.  
 
And now we are like piece of meat that hangs in the butcher&rsquo;s shop. All we do is to do nothing about our own life and sit here judging others life and their work.  
 
I was suddenly full of anguish at this sudden realization.  
 
I felt I was more happy in my realities, the realities which never surprised me till I haven&rsquo;t looked in to see what&rsquo;s going in the places.  
 
Her words seemed to tear me apart. It was a moment when my heart simply refused to beat, when all the blood seemed to have rushed to my head and stayed there, the whole world spinning down on its axis and time stopped and all there was in the world was her.  
 
I questioned my actions and felt the absence of that long discarded behaviour when I had no desire to be a hero, I bore no pirate nature to be extravagant, jubilant and victorious.  
 
I felt the guilty rush and experienced a meltdown which was sure to make me regret later when I wake up of this dream and found my imaginary friend gone for ever.  
 
I told her I would love to remain in the state of eternal dream as everything seems to be so nice like a commune with no extraneous elements and no confrontations.  
 
She laughed, &ldquo; Most of the people who experience similar thoughts and out of this suddenly found lost enthusiasm get up and join communes. It is no different from the real world they are trying to get away from&rdquo;.  
 
The idea is to stay in the real world and be a part of it yet have the ability to have a different set of realities.  
 
In this peculiar upside-down logic of real life, still believe in imaginations and dreams.  
 
Deep in the ashes of reality, a dream to find that imaginary friend who is there to make you realise that in spite of all the losses and defeats it is not everything that is lost.  
 
A smile cracked on my face and I gathered her in my arms, suddenly found myself immersed in bliss and wished never to get up ever again.  
 
It was as if I have emerged from an ocean and can see what she wanted me to.  
 
She would always be there for me, even when she is not there. One day, she would again hold my hand as she did today.  
 
ON THIS FRIENDSHIP DAY, I WISH YOU ALL REMEMBER THAT IMAGINARY FRIEND OF YOURS. WHO WAS A PART OF THOSE NAIVE DREAMS YOU BOTH TOOK TOGETHER.  
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						 <pubDate>Sun,  3 Aug 2008 01:38:21 +0000</pubDate>
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						<title>DEVIKA PART 2</title>
						<link>http://www.fropper.com/post/18897</link>
						<description><![CDATA[thanks buddies, to all of u who read THE FIRST PART&nbsp;and praised it in spite of its incompleteness...before&nbsp;you go further and read&nbsp;this final part of it, would like to clarify&nbsp; 
 
THAT THIS STORY IS ALL ABOUT THAT...BEING HONEST...  
 
I HAVE TRIED TO RAISE FEW QUESTION THROUGH IT, IT IS NOT MEANT FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES.... 
 
************************
As they sat in car, Aakash, trying in vain to resist his teasing advances, placed a quick kiss on Devika&rsquo;s cheek before starting the engine. Though it aroused Devika&rsquo;s pulse and her heart leapt, she looked at him as if a toddler with severe burns looks at someone trying to tend him.  
 
Aakash was shaken but he suddenly felt he loved her more than before. She didn&rsquo;t need saying anything as he wanted to cherish her. There was something in her eyes as if they are only meant to keep a promise but the look scared him at that time.  
 
As both of them were engrossed in these thoughts, a sudden blast of horn behind made him turn on the engine and they soon drove off heading towards their favourite restaurant, both of them embracing a silence with heavy heart. Devika&rsquo;s mind was running back, every time she had thought she had found a rainbow, she had committed a mistake. Had she been colour blind?? How could she have simply forgotten the greys and blacks of her life.  
 
What were these grey and black hues in her life which Devika wanted to share with Aakash?? Before she could think straight, she found the car stopped and she slipped in his arms. It seemed like a return, being installed in those steady arms. Suddenly, everything seemed so right.  
 
Sitting there in the dark, listening to the crickets chirping, she told him about her being raised by an NGO who rescued her two years back from a group of &quot;sex workers&quot;. She was an orphan raised by a maternal uncle who died right after she finished school.  
 
Devika was forced to walk into a dark world anticipating no acquittal. But at that time, sex work seemed to be a smarter option than dying being raped by the mean wolves of the streets. A sudden relief came in form of help from the women&rsquo;s home and later she had found her way to earn a respectful earning.  
 
Aakash wished to hold her up, high up in his arms for the whole world to see that women like her existed and that he really adored her more for her strength and zeal for life. He looked at the distant moon as if mourning to him to shine so brightly so that no dark corners remain in their minds. He simply uttered, &ldquo;Oh stars!! Shine on my queen as the way you shine on a desert too and make her happy. Devika, do you think they will listen to me?&rdquo;  
 
Are you sure?? Devika asked Aakash as if for what seemed the hundredth time to him.  
 
He kept his cool and patiently replied once more, &quot;Yes, Devika. I love you. There is nothing more important to me than marrying you.&quot; 
 
They soon tied the knot, both were anxious and edgy but they both were brimming over with love. Devika already cherishing her first taste of family, simply yielded to him in every way she could think of.&nbsp; She always thought life is a bitch, but now everything was rosy. Aakash too, fully high on his self exaltation and Devika&rsquo;s total submission, felt too strong and blessed all the time.  
 
Days turned into weeks and a month soon turned into two, sixteen months into that bliss, and the first nail was driven into the coffin of this relationship!!  
 
It was Friday evening, a particularly easy workday and as Aakash sat there at his workstation, staring at his machine, lost in his fancies to spend another lovely weekend with Devika, a friend dropped in with a cup of coffee. Mundane talks soon changed into married life talks and as casual references and insinuation to sex with lots of backslapping are acceptable amidst friends, as he was leaving, he threw a crafty wink at Aakash saying, your love life, needless to say, must be great.  
 
Aakash felt the laughter dying on his lips. His friend, oblivious to the harm he had done, walked away but he sat thinking. What did he mean? Did he know about Devika&rsquo;s past?? As he entered his home, his mind still in fury, he carried an irritation that day with him. He was pensive and moody and as Devika looked at him, she just let her passion withered in her mind.  
 
Soon lovemaking was erratic, warm smiles of Devika, started getting violent reactions from Aakash and whenever he looked at her, his brain screamed and Devika looked at her world crumbling down.  
 
Something was gravely wrong in her life now, she found him now even incapable of enacting an interest in the act.&nbsp; 

Aakash had been suffering from an enforced impotency. The man who had felt macho marrying a girl of her stature to boost his own flaccid sense of self but was unable to support it with his own virility!  
 
That evening, Devika stood waiting for Aakash. Tears escaped her eyes without any control and she wiped them away surreptitiously before turning towards him with the sternest face she could muster. Aakash could read a thousand accusations in her expression and he exploded. He rushed towards her and slapped her.  
 
The movement was so sudden that Devika reeled back. She slumped against the wall and heard confused mumbling of her lover, her husband, her nemesis!  
 
&ldquo;Your impotency is your own brain beating you. Your desire to be superior to mere a human being has been your enemy. You married me for the wrong reasons and the macho thing would have been to accept the truth, come out in the open, and tell the whole world about it.&rdquo;  
 
&ldquo;I am sorry to leave you but I tried to keep my promise and I loved you the most candidly I could.&rdquo; For you I was&nbsp;all pure and&nbsp;virgin !!!  
 
Aakash sat there crushing his thumbs. His rage swallowed by the shame he felt. He still didn&rsquo;t have the courage to apologize, to tell this woman that he did wrong. In her eyes, he could witness &ldquo;for the first time&rdquo; a woman trapped in a body who felt used and humiliated.  
 
He simply sat with his head hanging on his chest, all his false conceit flowing away with his tears as the one woman who could have helped him get in touch with his male core walked out of his life forever.  
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						 <pubDate>Sat, 26 Jul 2008 20:58:55 +0000</pubDate>
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						<title>DEVIKA PART 1</title>
						<link>http://www.fropper.com/post/18869</link>
						<description><![CDATA[THIS IS A STORY...BUT NOT FICTION, A REALITY...CRUEL, SO NEEDS TO BE HANDLED CAREFULLY. I TRIED TO CUT IT SHORT BUT WOULD BE AN INJUSTICE MET TO A GIRL, DEVIKA WHOSE NAME I HAVE CHANGED, BUT SHE IS ALIVE LIKE ALL OF US..... SO I AM FORCED TO PRESENT HER STORY IN PARTS....PLZ BEAR WITH ME..... *************************************************As Aakash walked into his office today, expecting it to be as drab as usual, he could hear strange noise spread all over and everyone around him in his team, looking mesmerized with a strange trance of love however the source of that enchanting spasm was still unknown to him. He could sense there could be a new entrant, a new female, a new chic must have joined in today.   Sounds spicy??? &hellip;the chase game on the boulevard of fantasizing dreams and crashing realities is again on, he spotted that new girl the next moment, that dazzling queen among his team of all young men. He felt a strong rebellion inside him, trying to rip him apart.&nbsp;  Did&nbsp;she&nbsp;really mean to work there &hellip;a girl, must have been just in her early 20s, dressed lazily, putting on a sleeveless pink frock with a white belt that made her look all childish. Her curly hair was combed into two knots with a butterfly pin on each side, the only thing visible in the most natural appearance were two round eyes on her face covered with layers of foundation, mascara and lipstick. He really had a strong desire to yell at her that she looked all overdressed and in fact vulgar and perhaps it would be a good idea to tone down her appearance a bit, but he kept mum, thinking it would be held for all the&nbsp;FUN wrecked to pieces.   Some how, she had sensed what was passing through&nbsp;Aakash's mind. Sounding apologetic she said that she had never thought that she would be joining a professional group like this. So from next day, she would try to look more sensible. Aakash really felt ashamed. She had proven to be far more magnanimous than what she looked like.   He softly asked her name. She was Devika, and as she opened her mouth, he felt as if she is a dream, half asleep, half awake as in a trance. And a dream had already landed in his eyes from somewhere forcing him to fall in love with her. He could hear himself singing, &ldquo;My princess in snow white, my heart will sing my love to you, every night.&rdquo; He looked more confused with a frown on his forehead but a smile plastered on his lips. He reluctantly uttered the phrase, &ldquo; Welcome to my team Devika&rdquo;.   Everyday, he looked at her. Confined in one of the thousands of workstations, Aakash could really feel as if life peeping at him whenever she looked up from the workstation diagonally opposite him.   Devika was very efficient and reliable and soon became an important part of the team. As days grew into weeks, she thawed a little and started smiling at him more often. In one of those relaxed moments, Aakash finally gathered guts to ask her out for coffee. She agreed and one coffee break soon became lunch meetings and dinner dates.   Whenever Aakash tried to wade into personal waters, Devika used to withdraw into her shell and refused to see him until he convinced her again. He could see a smile on her face but it wasn&rsquo;t relief. It was a troubled smile as if she wanted to tell him that she hasn&rsquo;t been convinced yet. Or was it something else?? Did she want to tell him something?? She was attracted to him but what was it that was holding her back.   That day Aakash decided to overcome his own insecurities and proposed marriage to her. A smile reached her face unable to hold the sudden surge of happiness that ran in her heart but she nodded in refusal. He was confused as he frowned. Devika looked shocked as if in pain.&nbsp;  Aakash was angry for a moment. Why can&rsquo;t she behave like a grown up woman?? But his anxiety for her wellbeing overrode his anger and he softly asked her what was that which threatened her. She walked away leaving behind a cruel silence. The next day she did come to work, walked straight to him, and asked him out for lunch! He wanted to say no, show her that he was angry but something in her face told him this wasn&rsquo;t time for games. They went out and over lunch she told him that she wanted to tell him about her past.   To be continued&hellip;&hellip;&hellip;.  ]]></description>
						 <pubDate>Fri, 25 Jul 2008 23:48:43 +0000</pubDate>
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						<title>Isn’t this another version of love???</title>
						<link>http://www.fropper.com/post/18590</link>
						<description><![CDATA[Recently I have read lots of blogs on marriage, love, infidelity, extramarital relationships and many other stories related to the same theme. During a recent special short term project, I got a chance to get associated with a closed group of 25 people. I quickly befriended with 4 people, Ritu*, Rahul*, Jassi* and Shreya *&hellip;.they are all married for almost 8-9 years now and really seemed to be too vibrant and happy.  
 
Well marriage was sure to emerge as a premise we all used to plunge in often during our conversation. I, being a party to that, that too a neutral one attempted to have an insight into how marriage as an institution evolved itself in their respective lives.  
 
Almost everyone agreed that after the first two years, reality strikes. Excitement fades with increasing familiarity and a clash of personalities begins. I really wondered whether these could be taken as the danger years, when partners gasped for personal space and start looking for what they have lost- outside the knot.  
 
Do the habits once, source of pleasure and happiness and taken rather as yardstick to measure the similarity and common grounds on indulgence, start looking peculiar and start getting on the nerves and partners do get intolerant towards the flaws???  
 
Why in a marriage only, where opinions and tastes which are tend to differ normally too, attain a size so severe almost on everything.  
 
&nbsp;I was really amused to find that within these two periods, almost with everyone &ldquo;Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus&rdquo; and other books of the genre had started appearing on bedside tables. Does it indicate towards an attempt to understand the rising incompatibility???  
 
I finally mustered courage to ask my four friends rather bluntly, how do they feel when they can see their husbands eyeing pretty young things and their wives dressing up for the delight of a flirtatious colleague, which is a common scene happening during the official get-togethers and parties.  
 
So during such a party, as long time friends as we discussed &lsquo;The State of the Marriage&rsquo; on that Saturday evening, finally the truth came tumbling out: &ldquo;Happily ever after&rdquo;, which adorns the ending of every fairy tale is still a myth.  
 
Ritu says that she feels marriage is no reason to shun intelligent and entertaining company, male or female. In fact this interaction makes up for the communication which gradually declines at home. But it never implies that being with males friends mean that there has been any temptation to stray- so far.  
 
So, if we look at the whole situation hypothetically, the probability of indulging in affairs always exists. As Ritu added, she knew several male colleagues, who bored with marriage and faced with opportunity, indulge in affairs. At the end, she actually exclaimed though with little uncertainty that the relationship actually does them good, they appear to be more vibrant and happy.  
 
So when I asked them whether infidelity could be taken as the cure for marriage blues all four simply denied.&nbsp; 
 
Then what is that which they do apart from age defying creams for women and Viagra for men to bring the zing back?  
 
They simply smiled at this idea though the men confessed that in an attempt to revive their youthful zest at a clandestine stag excursion to a joint renowned for uninhibited female dancers. But when the dancers sashayed in and started to divest themselves of their clothes, all four rushed for the exit. Rahul added &ldquo;It was disgusting&rdquo;, to my amusement.  
 
So what is that which keeps the partners together, was my next question to them, to which Shreya answered with uncertainty, &ldquo;Middle class values and a sense of responsibility, maybe&rdquo;.  
 
All of them however agreed that after few years the men &amp; career oriented women too stick to the thrill of their thriving careers to pep them up. Shreya has revived an old love-music, Ritu has an independent social life and Rahul resorts to sharing his kitchen wisdom..with his wife. &ldquo;If we serve dal and rice in an innovative manner, even the mundane becomes tantalizing.&rdquo;  
 
If romance starts retreating, sex turns mechanical and conversation is a mere a chore, what keeps the partners together?&rdquo;  
 
Is that still a growing with a disenchantment or they have found something more stable than passion? Has the lover become a friend?  
 
&nbsp;Don&rsquo;t you think that after weathering the worst of each others&rsquo; personality, there is understanding and empathy under all the exasperation?&nbsp; 
 
There is a space and a comfort zone within relationships which occurs that allows them to be themselves, and they would rather be with each other than any one else in the whole world? Isn&rsquo;t this another version of love???  
 
 
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						 <pubDate>Thu, 17 Jul 2008 21:35:23 +0000</pubDate>
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						<title>THAT LAST PICK UP THAT DAY....</title>
						<link>http://www.fropper.com/post/18159</link>
						<description><![CDATA[Today I was more restless than usual while I was trying to catch my hard earned nap after a long hectic night shift. After turning in bed for more than an hour, when I did snooze off, didn&rsquo;t realise until I was woken up the eerie ring of my cell which died before I could answer it. I looked at it, it was some unknown number. To my dismay it was already 7 PM, the time for me to get up, yet I switched it off and again covered myself with the sheet.  
 
There was a cold chill in the air, something unusual at this time of year, when everyone else had been complaining of heat.  
 
I finally stepped out of my bed to switch off the AC and felt as if something was in the wind, and the &quot;something&quot; would undoubtedly bear fruit. At first I was certain I was losing my mind due to lack of proper sleep, but when objects in the room began to shift, changing from place to place by an unseen hand, I knew I wasn't mad.&nbsp; 
 
It was really happening and someone--something was causing it. I could really see shadows come out of the corners of my room and there were smoky wisps of mist hanging in the air, only to vanish when I turned to view them head on&hellip;  
 
What is actually happening to me?? I broke into cold sweat; a fear gripped my mind, a fear unexplainable, a fear not only of dying but loosing my eternal soul to the devil suffocated me. I struggled hard to move out of my bed, shouted my roommate&rsquo;s name and whole time I felt a pain in my head, and this horrible fear..i prayed to God over and over and I could really see a devil&rsquo;s face manifested in front of me.  
 
I closed my eyes tightly, reopened them to find my roomie holding a cup of coffee for me, it was just 7:04 PM, and I was asleep only for 4 minutes. I asked her if she could hear me and she said yes, she was in fact scared of waking me up.  
 
Over the cup of coffee, I told her about the dream I had, and soon we were talking about one of the weirdest happenings which occurred during the same month two years back.  
 
Our cab had arrived before the scheduled time and since ours was the first pick up that day, we had to board it. As soon as we boarded it, I noticed the driver, same driver, but was looking cranky that day, or was he drunk.  
 
I asked him for the roster to see the rest of the pick ups, a thing which I usually never do as the route and other things usually remain same. There were only two more pick ups to be done, a boy who lived near our apartment only but his pick up was cancelled. There was another name &ldquo;yamini&rdquo; scribbled in poor handwriting of the driver, she stayed somewhere in interiors of dwarka. Apparently her pick was added on at the last moment. I always hated such add-ons.  
 
With noticeable frustration in my voice I asked the driver for her phone number to confirm her pick up and the location of her house. The driver was himself upset about this and said that he didn&rsquo;t have the phone number and only address was given to him by someone in the transport. I was however calmed to know that he knew the place.  
 
I was just surprised that why I haven&rsquo;t heard of this girl before, I turned to my roommate to tell her but to find that she had already dozed off, her head already comfortably rested against the seat.  
 
To distract my mind, I asked the driver to put on the radio and was soon found myself singing loudly even those songs which I hated most.  
 
Anyways, after a tiring drive of 45 minutes we entered dwarka, my anxiety piling up and my roommate was now almost snoring unaware of anything. After another drive of 10 minutes, we soon entered a lane, it was a bumpy road leading to a dark trail outlined with many houses which looked rather uninhabited with very few windows lit up during that that time of the day.&nbsp; 
 
Our cab finally stopped near an old looking house, it looked depressing almost morbid as if most of the people who reside there were dead.  
 
Even after honking for five minutes, when nobody came, I asked the driver to go and report at the house. From a distance in that darkness, I could figure out an old decent looking couple standing at the doorway, looking startled as if not expecting anyone at this point of time.  
 
I heard the driver asking about the girl and nearly jumped out of my skin when I heard the old man&nbsp;telling in a very upset voice that yamini was their daughter but she lost her life two years back in an accident while she was going to her office in the cab and today was in fact her birthday. I recalled hearing about this accident in the office.  
 
In that darkness too, I could see the driver almost turning white out of fear looking scared out of his wits. In fact, I was also freaked out completely but kept my composure and just sat there as calmly as I could. He came back trembling out of fear, as if someone had just sucked his life out.  
 
Before he could say anything, I told him that I have heard everything and someone from the transport who apparently knew this girl and was aware of her birthday must have just cracked a stupid joke on him. My mind is quite quick to stumble on the reasons which sound more realistic.  
 
I asked him about the name of the person who added this pick up at the last moment, but he said that in hurry he forgot to ask his name. I simply handed over him my water bottle and asked him to take water.  
 
Dismissing the whole incident as a prank, I asked him to take the cab to the company, looking apologetically and sadly towards yamini&rsquo;s parents from a distance. The driver drove the cab like hell and obviously perturbed by that absurd silence which had descended in, my roomy woke up rubbing her eyes, asked me what happened, we are now more attuned to sleep amidst noisy surroundings. I decided to tell her nothing at that time and told her only when we reached the company. We tried to find out from the transport but no one knew about that call made, who would of course confess of doing such a thing.  
 
We still joke around about this but today also when I remember that night, I have my hairs pick up and get the shoots of cold run down my spine. Was it just a prank done by someone or yamini really wanted to celebrate her birthday in the office??  
]]></description>
						 <pubDate>Mon,  7 Jul 2008 17:59:34 +0000</pubDate>
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						<title>MY VIRTUAL LOVE</title>
						<link>http://www.fropper.com/post/17767</link>
						<description><![CDATA[It was Friday night like any other. I was caught up with the last of my weekend chores in the office which included preparing a large tricky report which I had to show to my manager on coming Monday. I quickly finished it, hurriedly calculating and setting scores of my team agents to the likeability of everyone. This time I was seemingly too easy-going with them.   Between all these calculations, I was finding my mind struck up somewhere else. I was in a kind of rush one feels, as if getting late for a date. I wasn&rsquo;t very content with the report, still decided to save it and closed it down, planning to rectify the errors on Monday, if any. With mind, little calmed down due to that borrowed time, I was relieved for a while.   I left my workstation, scurried past one of my colleagues, he gave me a queer look. I tried hard to smile back at him, hoping he didn&rsquo;t sight that limpness on my face. I came back fetching a large mug of black coffee, holding it close to my nose to capture the aroma of the coffee, to fill my nostrils with freshness, I had been hankering after, the whole night.   I placed the mug on my table with a loud thrust, with coffee nearly spilling out on the papers which were carelessly strewn everywhere on it. Ignoring the mess, I&nbsp;grabbed my chair and hurriedly opened the website, I had been spending most of my spare time these days.&nbsp; I logged in hurriedly to see all the messages I received that day, and there it was, HIS MESSAGE, lying among the heap of messages in my inbox.   With all the excitement and anticipation, I quickly opened it, with a sudden eagerness, as if destiny was about to announce its most awaited result. I looked around with stealing eyes and saw that colleague of mine asking me from a distance if everything was okay. I nodded with a sheepish smile. He had probably never seen me sitting so silent, with that painfully awkward impatience clinging to the screen as if it held the secrets to existence.   Well, it was just a customary message, sahring his discernment on daily matters of life. We had started writing to each other more often recently. I could envisage a smile beaming on my face. Suddenly, all the unease and culpability vanished away and I was soon immersed replying to it, forgetting all about that dreadful report.   I was completely lost in those dark reaches of internet, when I was suddenly woken up by a touch on my shoulder. &nbsp;I turned around to see my SPECIAL FRIEND now almost leaning over my shoulder, looking at the screen with amazement. I suddenly realised, we had been spending great deal of time together these days. In addition to those breaks together, we shared the same cab and on the way, talked out our daily woes, discussing everything in hushed voice, among those jarring numbers playing on the FM.   He was visibly shocked to&nbsp;find me in that tranquil mood, in fact looked rather surprisingly disappointed. He was expecting to find me seated there sharing the same dishevelment which was all around me, with those papers still scattered everywhere, that empty mug of coffee, now lending a sickening, stale smell and that wide screen glaring almost over my head, giving me a more maniac look than ever before.&nbsp;  Few minutes back, I had gone to him, howling&nbsp;about this report, taking toil on my mind and he vowed to help me out. In fact he was quite eager to leave his own work to come with me to my workstation.   Now, with a quizzical look on his face, he reluctantly asked me about the report. I simply shrugged my shoulders and with a chuckle in my voice, told him that I would see it on Monday. He even tried to remind me of&nbsp;the manager&rsquo;s wrath in an annoying voice.&nbsp;but my mind was too net congested to answer.Anyways, I had to scuttle the conversation and find a way to salvage his bruised ego, I looked deeply into his eyes, telling him that with him as my best buddy around, do I really need to be worried.&nbsp;  Then something magical happened. I was watching him in bewilderment, did I see a bright light flashing in his eyes which died quickly too? I don&rsquo;t know what was it exactly?   Anyways, I gulped hard and quickly buckled down for another turbulent voyage with this cab mate into triumph. On the way towards our cab, we were soon talking about the movie we were going to watch that evening with our other friends.   My mind still captured with that unknown admirer on net, I could really visualise a message popping out in front of me with those smiley-face words: &ldquo;Would you like to go out with me?&rdquo;  &nbsp;&ldquo;Isn&rsquo;t it going to be lovely spending an evening with a guy like you?&rdquo; I promptly uttered without wasting any other moment. With words moving clearly on the screen of my mind, I would never stutter. I knew now I had perfect answer to every question, and the perfect response to every flirtation.   My words of wit literally zoomed and my skilfull romantic hint perked him up. I knew that look well, when I saw his thousand-yard stare changing into his favourable grin. I was really wondering who says that virtual love is just a fluke, in fact you're turned into a connoisseur to click with whomever you meet.   ]]></description>
						 <pubDate>Sun, 29 Jun 2008 11:29:32 +0000</pubDate>
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						<title>LET’S REJOICE THE SONG OF RAIN…..</title>
						<link>http://www.fropper.com/post/17556</link>
						<description><![CDATA[The first shower !!!&nbsp;  And as the rain loosens itself,  I felled in love with the life again.   Listening in to the song,  Nature hums again.  Ringing a bell for all of us,  To tune in to the song we all forgot,  That chord we simply forgot to strike,  The rhyme which mind failed to retain.   While in the life&rsquo;s chorus,  We all were busy,  Chanting the mantra of success,  Learning the song of delight.   This first splash,  The abundance simply squeezes itself,  To send out a squirt of wetness,  Moistening all hearts  Which remained dried out.   While in the ocean of life,  We all were  Seeking a single tide of love,  A single wave of tenderness.   Doesn&rsquo;t mind still crave of  An urge unfulfilled,  That petite desire which hides itself.  To&nbsp;be Happy From INSIDE.   While we all were  Searching reasons to be blissful,  Probing grounds to hang about,  Gathering causes to be occupied.   Today while standing on the life&rsquo;s cliff,  Gazing at the rain.   I still find within a mind that refuses to grow.  Declines to remain confined.  A heart within that desires to cheer,  Yearns to grow in easy delight.  A spirit within keen to let the rains pour in,  Drench my body and soak my soul.   Till all the shyness gets washed out,  Which cloaks the sanity.  Till the adulthood resigns.&nbsp;  And I gain a heart of an infant,  Which finds no reason,  Futile to be glad,  No cause vain to simply smile.  ]]></description>
						 <pubDate>Wed, 25 Jun 2008 04:33:25 +0000</pubDate>
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						<title>If YoU ThinK LyF is HaRd N HaRsH....ThiNk AgaiN</title>
						<link>http://www.fropper.com/post/17184</link>
						<description><![CDATA[WITH LIFE GAINING PACE FASTER DAY BY DAY..GETTING BUSIER WITH ENDLESS ASSIGNMENTS WAITING..PEOPLE RELYING ON ME, EXPECTING AND WAITING FOR ME TO PRODUCE RESULTS, I STARTED FEELING TOO POWERFUL AND IMPORTANT.&nbsp;  AND EVERY POWER LEADS MAN TO ARROGANCE, SO EVEN I THOUGHT...NOW I HAVE A CHANCE TO DISPLAY MY IMPORTANCE..I HAVE ALL RIGHTS TO RIDICULE EVERYONE, CRTICISE OPENELY, SCOLD AND CONDEMN EVERYONE FOR THE THINGS NOT BEING IN ORDER AND MAKE THEM REALISE THAT LIFE IS TOO HARD AND HARSH  IT'S TRUE WEN POWER CORRUPTS THE MIND, ADVERSITY CLEANSES IT...I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE APPROPRIATE TO SHARE THE FOLLOWING STORY I CAME ACROSS IN ONE OF THE MAILS FORWARDED TO ME.......  NICK VIJUCIC is a motivational speaker and the director for Life Without Limbs, an organization that is for the physically disabled. Nick was born in Melbourne, Australian 4 December 1982.               My name is Nick Vujicic and I was born without limbs and doctors have no medical explanation for this birth 'defect'. As you can imagine, I was faced with many challenges and obstacles. Their firstborn son had been born without limbs! There were no warnings or time to prepare themselves for it. The doctors were shocked and had no answers at all! There is still no medical reason why this had happened and Nick now has a Brother and Sister who were born just like any other baby.           I know that there is no such thing as luck, chance or coincidence that these 'bad' things happen in our life.&nbsp;  I had complete peace knowing that God won't let anything happen to us in our life unless God has a good purpose for it all  I am now twenty-three years old and have completed a Bachelor of Commerce majoring in Financial Planning and Accounting..&nbsp;  I am also a motivational speaker and love to go out and share my story and testimony wherever opportunities become available. I have developed talks to relate to and encourage students through topics that challenge today's teenagers. I am also a speaker in the corporate sector.&nbsp;    I have a passion for reaching out to youth and keep myself available for whatever God wants me to do, and wherever He leads, I follow.  Writing several best-selling books has been one of my dreams and I hope to finish writing my first by the end of the year.   It will be called 'No Arms, No Legs, No Worries!'&nbsp;  I believe that if you have the desire and passion to do something, and if it's God's will, you will achieve it in good time. As humans, we continually put limits on ourselves for no reason at all! What's worse is putting limits on God who can do all things. We put God in a 'box'. The awesome thing about the Power of God, is that if we want to do something for God, instead of focusing on our capability, concentrate on our availability for we know that it is God through us and we can't do anything without God. Once we make ourselves available for God's work, guess whose capabilities we rely on? God's!&nbsp;    Remember: WHEN YOU'RE BUSYJUDGING PEOPLE, YOU HAVE NO TIME TO LOVE THEM  ]]></description>
						 <pubDate>Wed, 18 Jun 2008 11:27:53 +0000</pubDate>
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